The Impactful Parenting Podcast helps parents turn their chaos into connection with their children. Through meaningful stories, the podcast provides parenting tips for making family life easier! Why? Because school-aged children bring different challenges to parenting that younger kids don’t! The Impactful Parenting Podcast provides help for raising your adolescent child. So if you’re asking yourself questions like: • ”Is this normal?” • ”Why is my teenager doing this?” • ”How do I get my child to stop?” • ”I am so frustrated. What do I do?” • ”Is anyone else experiencing this? I can’t be the only one.” • ”I am worried. What can I do?” Then YOU HAVE FOUND THE RIGHT PLACE! Hi! I am Kristina Campos. I am the founder of the Impactful Parent and my passion is creating better relationships between parents and their children. I am a parenting coach, a teacher who has taught every grade level from Pre-K through high school, and most importantly, I am a mom of 4 kids! (Yep, those are my kiddos in the podcast photo). The teen years don’t need to be difficult. Teenagers CAN have a special bond with their parents! Listen and discover the tools and techniques you need to create connections, build trust, and have a stress-free household. This is only the beginning! Let’s get started, together! -Kristina Campos Founder of The Impactful Parent
Episodes
Tuesday Feb 09, 2021
Tuesday Feb 09, 2021
This short video is the real truth behind the arguments in my household. This funny, yet real, short story will have you laughing and relating.
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Transcription:
I have the ultimate family test of love, compassion, and sharing! …… “What is it, you ask?” Share ONE iPhone charger for a week. LOL Yep, my family of 4 kids plays this game all-the-time! They must love it because no matter how hard we try to keep the house stocked with chargers, it inevitably always comes down to ONE. That one charger that has someone’s name written on it, but it has been smudged out so that no one can make out the writing. That one charger that starts a war between siblings and turns the fight into a suburban version of The Hunger Games. That one charger that barely works because it has been pulled out of the wall too many times and the wires are exposed. This charger becomes a lifeline for my children and they fight over it like piranhas. Sound familiar?
Well, this week, I am turning the tables and need your advice and parenting tips! What do you do? I feel like there are a few options:
- Take the charger away and let the electronics die a slow death. The consequence of this could be a lovely night that is screen-free, but I am more anticipating 4 kids crying in their bedrooms and weeping, moaning, and acting like, they too, are dying.
- Pick one kid that has been especially awesome lately and let that child use the charger while the others cry in their room and yell at me for picking favorites.
- Create a rotating schedule of charging everyone’s phone for 15 minutes. No one is happy, but their phone is given just enough life to keep the screen on.
- I buy all 4 kids' new chargers, and I cry in my room, silently defeated by the parenting game because my kids just won.
What do you think? Is there a better option? What do you do? Please leave your comments below so we all can benefit from your fantastic idea and experience. That is what this community is all about; helping each other! Let’s hear your advice! In the meantime, I bought a Samsung. Let the kids play this crazy game while my phone is still at 100%. (wink, wink)
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Sunday Feb 07, 2021
Sunday Feb 07, 2021
Lazy Teenager Help
Link to additional video on HOW TO MOTIVATE A TEENAGER. Click here!
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Transcript to Lazy Teenager Help:
My teenager lies in bed on the phone. Motionless and eyes glued to the screen. "Hey, get up. We got to get to our appointment in 15 minutes," I say because I know that if we don't leave soon, we will be late. Unfortunately, my teen doesn't seem to care about the appointment. He moves with the speed of a sloth. I already know we are going to be late.
Teenagers and their lack of caring about things can be one of the most frustrating parts of parenting. Every day, parents worldwide spend days upon days trying to motivate their teens with no success.
Why is this daily routine of nagging so frustrating? Because when push comes to shove- parents have NO control at all. Yep, I said it. You have no control. If your teenager doesn't want to listen to you, they won't. If they don't want to do something, they won't. Ultimately, parents don't have control if their young adult child doesn't wake up on time, doesn't do the homework, doesn't eat the right food, or doesn't care.
Now, I know many parents are listening to this saying, "Wait a minute! Yes, I do. I will take away their phone or make their life miserable until they do listen." To that, I say that your confidence in your control over your child is a little misplaced. Sure, you can make your child miserable enough to comply with your requests, but in the end-, they are still making a choice to comply, and you don't really have the control you think you do.
Those parents out there who are frustrated with their "lazy" teenager- give yourself some grace. There are millions of parents out there that feel the same way. You're not alone.
But why do some teens listen and comply and others don't? Today I all about Lazy Teenager Help! Let's talk about it!
The secret sauce to getting your teenager to listen is:
- Know what you can control
- Building trust with your teen
- Leveraging your influence.
Let's start with control. We established that you can't control your teen. If you try to control your teen, you will inevitably get push-back, rebellion, and your bond with them will be damaged. So, what can you control? The answer is two critical things. The first is How you react to your teen's behaviors. Many parents make the mistake of getting emotional. They scream at their kid and allow their frustration to get the best of them. When you react emotionally to bad choices or behaviors, you open up the possibility for your teen to misinterpret you. When their parent is angry and yelling, they may think, "They don't love me." I know it may seem like a crazy conclusion to jump to, but that is how many teens interpret that response. If your child doesn't feel like you love them, doesn't feel like you accept them, or they don't feel secure- then they will NEVER listen to you.
Most importantly, kids want to know that you will accept them and love them no matter how bad they are, no matter what bad choices they make, and no matter how frustrating they may be. Children want to know that you will love them no matter what. But many times, our reaction to their undesirable behavior or choices says, I DON'T LOVE YOU or I THINK YOU'RE STUPID. And although you may not say those words aloud, it is the message received by your child. That is why it is so crucial that you keep calm and keep emotion out of the discipline you use with your child. Parents are often so emotional about their child's choices that they want to punish their children in their anger. These parents want to make the child feel bad for their choices, shame their kids, or threaten. Consider, if the objective is to get your teen to trust you and leverage your influence with them to listen to your advice, then that behavior is counterproductive. Why would a teenager want to hear or trust someone who is always disappointed, yelling at them, and making them feel bad? Being over emotional can be detrimental to your goal of getting your child to do what you want. Instead, discipline should be treated as a natural consequence for their actions in a matter-of-fact way, OR discipline can be a negotiation. This brings me to the second thing you can control.
The Second thing you can control is what you provide for your child. Make a list of the things that your child does care about. Wi-Fi, TV, phone service, transportation, money…? These are the things you can use to start your negotiations with your child. Negotiations like: if you do your homework before 5 pm, you can pick what we have for dinner. If your homework is not finished by 7 pm, I will turn off the Wi-Fi until it gets finished. Unfortunately, many parents make the mistake of not following through with the negotiation agreement. They give back the phone too early or don't follow through at all (like not taking the time to actually shut off the Wi-Fi because it is an inconvenience). Soon, their teenager will catch on to this and consider their parent's bluffers. You have to be consistent and follow through on your word with your teen. This is another way you will build trust with your child. They have to know that your word is gold.
Building trust with your teen takes time. This isn't an overnight process. Remember, to build trust, you have to do 3 things consistently.
- Be consistent with your actions.
- Don't overreact to their bad choices, and
- Build the "I love you no-matter-what" kind of love.
Now, let's talk about how you need to leverage your influence.
Once you can establish a calm reaction to your child's bad choices, start by asking questions. Use the word 'why' a lot. Why do you want to be late? Why are you so tired? Keep asking questions. The objective here is to get THEM to say the consequences of their actions aloud. You DO NOT WANT TO TELL THEM THE CONSEQUENCES. This is important. When we start telling our teens what will happen if they don't study, don't get up on time, or whatever- your teenager doesn't care! Talking AT them does very little! In fact, if they agree with you, then it is just another opportunity for you to say "I told you so," and teens don't like that! Instead, you want the child to communicate the consequences aloud in their own words because then, and only then, will your child internalize what is being said. Next, follow up with questions like, "Are you ok with those consequences, Where is that going to lead you, How do your actions make you feel about yourself, how does being lazy serve you?"
As you can see, these questions are intentional. You want your teen to come up with their own conclusions and connect the dots to how their actions affect their lives. Now, realize that getting your child to connect the dots one time will probably not be effective. You'll have to have these talks with your teen several times before you start seeing them really internalize their choices.
Lastly, ask your child how your can help. This statement has to come from a place of love and selflessness. Your teen will sniff out your intentions if you're just trying to help them because of your own frustrations. Only when your child believes that you are NOT thinking about yourself or your own agenda will they start to listen. They need to feel that you are coming from a place of LET ME HELP YOU. When that trust is built, they are more likely to start opening up, confiding in you, and taking your advice as something that will genuinely help them and not just serve your needs. Because most teenagers won't do something for you, but they will do something if they see value in it for themselves. To discover how to create more value for them and motivate a lazy teenager, see this video. I'll leave the link below for more Lazy Teenager Help.
Thursday Feb 04, 2021
Thursday Feb 04, 2021
The Slow Eater Child
The Slow Eater Child. Tips for how to get your child to eat when they seem to take FOREVER to consume anything. Don't worry Mama- I got you!
It is Question and Answer Thursday and today's question was: My Child eats so slow that it doesn't seem like she is consuming anything. Her teachers are getting frustrated at school. Help!
**The Slow Eater Child episode was broadcasted live on YouTube, Facebook, Linked In, and Instagram. Submissions for Q&A Thursday can be either emailed to The Impactful Parent directly or direct messaged through any of these social media platforms. Submissions can be anonymous and are never mentioned in the Live Recording to respect the privacy of The Impactful Parent audience. Email: theimpactfulparent@gmail.com
Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer! https://theimpactfulparent.com Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too! Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don’t miss an impactful tip!
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Tuesday Feb 02, 2021
Tuesday Feb 02, 2021
Disrespectful Kids
10 tips for dealing with disrespectful kids.
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Transcript:
When a child is standing in front of your face screaming, full of attitude- I know you want to shout back and probably even hit them. That is natural. You are human too, and they just activated an instinctual reaction in you to protect yourself. Obviously, it would be best if you did not yell back or hit. Yes, disrespectful children will push our buttons, but when we match their crazy with our frustrations, screaming, and anger, it only adds fuel to that child or teen bomb standing in front of you.
Then, how should we react to these disrespectful kids? It is not easy, but these ten tips, when implemented, may defuse a heated situation, and even change that disrespectful kids.
Disrespectful Kids Tip 1: Keep Calm. I know this isn’t easy and restraint isn’t many people’s strength but you have to stay calm because parents that explode back are not only fueling the fire, but they are also reinforcing the yelling and bad behavior by becoming a role model.
Disrespectful Kids Tip 2. Do not engage. I tell my children that I cannot hear anything they say when they are talking to me like this or acting this way. If they want me to listen and be on their side, they need to speak to me calmly. Telling your child this does two things. It shows you have boundaries, and it also points out their behavior to them without pointing fingers.
Disrespectful Kids Tip 3: Do not lecture. When your child is at the yelling phase, their emotions have already gotten the best of them. These children are not thinking with their logical brain. They are acting upon their feelings. A lecture at that moment will not give the child an epiphany about the value of respecting their elders, nor will they see the error of their ways when emotions are high.
Disrespectful Kids Tip 4: Give them time to cool off. Tell them to go to their room for a minute, go for a walk, sit outside, whatever place will calm them down.
Disrespectful Kids Tip 5: Connect with your child when they are ready. This means going to them after calming down or making time for them when they came back to you calmly.
Disrespectful Kids Tip 6: Ask questions. Start getting to the reason for all the emotions. Say things like, “It seems to me like you may be angry. Did something happen at school?” Keep asking questions until you can get to the root of their frustration. Are they scared, mad, frustrated, worried, or feeling like they do not have control of something? Which brings me to tip 7.
Disrespectful Kids Tip 7: Do not take it personally. Teenagers are mean unintentionally. It is a part of their nature to think only of themselves and take out their frustrations and big emotions on their parents. Mom and dad are supposed to be a safe space for them. Parents are supposed to love their kids unconditionally. Unfortunately, this also means that we can be punching bags from time to time. Our children will test our love often. Even the nicest kids will do this subconsciously. Win this game.
Disrespectful Kids Tip 8: Check for low blood sugar and hunger. Sometimes kids are just “hangry” and have sensitive diets.
Disrespectful Kids tip 9: Do not try and force your child to respect you. Forcing your child to do anything is generally not a good idea. They may comply as younger children, but older children will come to resent you and will know exactly how to push your buttons. Instead, set a standard for respect and behaviors that are implemented rules in your household for everyone.
Disrespectful Kids Tip 10: You cannot teach your child to be respectful by treating them without respect. That means you must be conscious of HOW you treat your children and lead by example. A mistake many parents make is treating their children like servants, babies, or as an inferior person. Try not to talk down to your children or boss them around. There are ways to ask people to do things that do not require you to be “bossy.”
Sunday Jan 31, 2021
Sunday Jan 31, 2021
How NOT To Get Angry.
Yep- My guest this week, Mr. Ben Winter, says that he has the secret sauce for parents NOT to get angry. According to Ben Winter, most of our anger is derived from an expectation NOT being met, and that expectations are what causes our anger.
Watch as Ben Winter, and I talk about parenting expectations. Don't worry- Expectations are not always bad! In fact, sometimes expectations give us the opportunity for growth and understanding! WATCH and see what the hype is about.
FREE PDF: How Not To Get Angry by Ben Winter at https://theimpactfulparent.com/ben-winter
Make an authentic connection with your child. Try a FREE 30 Day Challenge. You’ll receive a new question to ask your child every day- for 30 days. Get away from the boring questions and start connecting with your child one question at a time! https://theimpactfulparent.com/connection
Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer! https://theimpactfulparent.com Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too! Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don’t miss an impactful tip!
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Rate, Review, & Subscribe!
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Rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!
Also, if you haven’t done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you’re not subscribed, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out. Subscribe now!
Thursday Jan 28, 2021
Thursday Jan 28, 2021
It is Question and Answer Thursday and today's question was: How To Teach Your Child Gratitude
7 Steps for Teaching Your Child Gratitude
**This episode was broadcasted live on YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram. Submissions for Q&A Thursday can be either emailed to The Impactful Parent directly or direct messaged through any of these social media platforms. Submissions can be anonymous and are never mentioned in the Live Recording to respect the privacy of The Impactful Parent audience. Email: theimpactfulparent@gmail.com
Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer! https://theimpactfulparent.com Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too! Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don’t miss an impactful tip!
Make an authentic connection with your child. Try a FREE 30 Day Challenge. You’ll receive a new question to ask your child every day- for 30 days. Get away from the boring questions and start connecting with your child one question at a time! https://theimpactfulparent.com/connection
Follow The Impactful Parent on social Media! Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, Pinterest, and YouTube.
Rate, Review, & Subscribe!
“I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer! Thank you for making my parenting journey better!” <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!
Rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!
Also, if you haven’t done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you’re not subscribed, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out. Subscribe now!
Thursday Jan 28, 2021
Thursday Jan 28, 2021
The Strong-Willed Child
The Strong-Willed Child can be difficult but these qualities are actually really great as an adult! Learn tips for dealing with the strong-willed child without breaking their spirit and without losing your mind.
It is Question and Answer Thursday and today's question was: My strong-willed child is driving me crazy. Help!
**The Strong-Willed Child was broadcasted live on YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram. Submissions for Q&A Thursday can be either emailed to The Impactful Parent directly or direct messaged through any of these social media platforms. Submissions can be anonymous and are never mentioned in the Live Recording to respect the privacy of The Impactful Parent audience. Email: theimpactfulparent@gmail.com
Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer! https://theimpactfulparent.com Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too! Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don’t miss an impactful tip!
Make an authentic connection with your child. Try a FREE 30 Day Challenge. You’ll receive a new question to ask your child every day- for 30 days. Get away from the boring questions and start connecting with your child one question at a time! https://theimpactfulparent.com/connection
Follow The Impactful Parent on social Media! Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, Pinterest, and YouTube.
Tuesday Jan 26, 2021
Tuesday Jan 26, 2021
Talking To Teens: Tips for having those difficult conversations
A discussion with Cassie Eads, author of the book My Suicidal Child
Make an authentic connection with your child. Try a FREE 30 Day Challenge. You’ll receive a new question to ask your child every day- for 30 days. Get away from the boring questions and start connecting with your child one question at a time! https://theimpactfulparent.com/connection
Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer! https://theimpactfulparent.com Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too! Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don’t miss an impactful tip!
Don’t forget to follow The Impactful Parent on social Media! Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, Pinterest, and YouTube.
Transcript:
Kristina: What have been your biggest lessons learned from having a suicidal child?
Cassie: The unintentional use of language. What I mean is the accidental harm that we cause in our everyday language. I never realized how powerful the way we say things impact our kids.
Kristina: It is a big deal. How we talk to our children affects them in ways that we don’t understand. We have to think back to our childhood and how our parents used to talk to you. Are you repeating the pattern? Sometimes, as parents, we run too much of a dictatorship, and that can be very harmful to our children. It is difficult to let go of control, but watching what we say and how we say things can make a big difference.
Kristina: What are some of the biggest concerns you have with children that you have seen throughout your work?
Cassie: I work with a wide range of ages, and a couple of big things that a lot of kids say is that they are wary of speaking up or share their thoughts with adults because they don’t want to be punished or look disrespectful. When I found this out, I started to ask more questions. I discovered that parents often unintentionally shut kids down and try to control the conversation. Adults don’t listen. Instead, we intervene with our perspective. The kids never feel validated for what they think.
Kristina: That sounds like the unconscious dictatorship I spoke of earlier. As parents, we think, “I have been through that, I know better, and I want to help,” but this leads us to unconsciously talking over our children. What this ends up doing is making our kids feel like they are not being heard, belittled, and my parents are not hearing me at all. My suggestion to parents is to use “I” language. For those not familiar with “I” language, it merely means you will start your sentence with the word “I.” For example, I feel upset, or that makes me feel sad.
Kristina: How else can kids get their voice heard, so their parents will listen?
Cassie: Well, parents need to start with being ok with what the kids feel and what the kids say. Sometimes, it skinks to hear your child tell you that they feel worthless or belittled or the way that YOU act. Parents automatically get defensive, but parents instead need to learn how to pause and consider the truth in what their child is saying.
Kristina: I encourage parents to take the time to build trust with their kids also. How do we do that? Well, all parents tell their kids that they can talk to them and tell them anything, but your child will NOT come to you if they think you will punish them or overreact. This means we need to practice staying calm and NOT react crazy when we hear something we don’t like to come out of our child’s mouth. We need to practice holding our tongue, taking a deep breath, and truly listening to our child without the “crazy” reaction. Even if the stuff you hear is going to stab you in the heart, you need to be a safe place for your child and that person they can confide in.
Cassie: And if I can add to that, we need to validate their feelings. Even though it hurts us, it is ok. It might hurt to listen, but shutting down your child may have worse consequences than your hurt feelings. I also want to warn parents that they need to be open to hearing ANYTHING. The content your child will come to you with may surprise you! They are exposed to more than you realize, and their exposure has some real adult issues sometimes.
Kristina: I will add that we also have to be ready to hear that we might be to blame too. We have to be prepared to hear that we have hurt them, and we have a part in their sadness. We can’t get defensive. We must authentically listen to them, their point of view, and ask questions! Ask lots of questions and get to the root of their feelings. Lastly, we must take ownership of what we have unintentionally done to hurt our child. Don’t be afraid to apologize to your child! Apologies from parents are powerful and very meaningful for the child.
Cassie: I was the parent that always had to have it together. I had to let go of that mindset! My children have grown more, and we have created closer relationships when I put aside the ‘perfect mom’ persona and showed them I was human too. When we navigate our emotions together now, it has brought us closer.
Kristina: Thank you, Cassie, for coming on to The Impactful Parent today. Your experience and knowledge are very valuable to my audience! If you want to support Cassie and her mission to help parents, you can find her at http://listenwithintowin.com
Sunday Jan 24, 2021
Sunday Jan 24, 2021
Getting Your Child To Eat Vegetables with Special Guest Amy Miller telling the audience about the Juice Plus company and giving parents another opportunity to balance their children's diet with their whole food supplement.
Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer! https://theimpactfulparent.com Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too! Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don’t miss an impactful tip!
Follow The Impactful Parent on social Media! Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, Pinterest, and YouTube.
Rate, Review, & Subscribe!
“I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer! Thank you for making my parenting journey better!” <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!
Rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!
Also, if you haven’t done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you’re not subscribed, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out. Subscribe now!
Thursday Jan 21, 2021
Thursday Jan 21, 2021
7 Steps For Helping Your Child Learn To Self-Regulate and not suppress emotions.
It is Question and Answer Thursday and today's question was: How Do I Teach My Child To Calm Down?
**This episode was broadcasted live on YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram. Submissions for Q&A Thursday can be either emailed to The Impactful Parent directly or direct messaged through any of these social media platforms. Submissions can be anonymous and are never mentioned in the Live Recording to respect the privacy of The Impactful Parent audience. Email: theimpactfulparent@gmail.com
FREE PDF: 20 Ways to Cope mentioned in podcast https://theimpactfulparent.com/20waystocope
For more help with anxiety management, check out my behavior management online course! Discover how YOU can help your child and get started TODAY! Check out https://theimpactfulparent.com/anxiouschildren for more information about this course!
PLUS- that’s not all! Check out the webinar for the steps you need to start seeing change! Yep, I am giving you the steps you need to help your child with their anxiety for FREE! Go to https://theimpactfulparent.com/webinar for this priceless content! So grab a pencil and paper and watch today!
To make an authentic connection with your child, try one of my FREE 30 Day challenges. Sign up today and you’ll receive a new question to ask your child every day- for 30 days. These questions provoke a new conversation with your child and get you away from the boring questions like, “How was your day, and do you have any homework?” Start connecting with your child one question at a time! Completely FREE, so NO excuses! Sign up NOW and watch your connection grow with your child in 30 days! https://theimpactfulparent.com/connection
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Rate, Review, & Subscribe!
“I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer! Thank you for making my parenting journey better!” <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!
Rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!
Also, if you haven’t done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you’re not subscribed, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out. Subscribe now!