Parenting Stories, Struggles and Strategies for Moms and Dads of School-aged Children, Teenagers, and Impactful Parents

011: Who Are You?

Who Are You?   This podcast talks about the importance of knowing your authentic self and that person you were BEFORE you had children.  Keeping that person alive and feeding your soul is an important part of being a good parent!  So who are you?  Let's discover that person with this FREE PDF!  https://theimpactfulparent.com/lifebeyondchildren

Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer!  https://theimpactfulparent.com  Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too!  Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don’t miss an impactful tip!

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Transcript:

Who are you?  A parent? An accountant? A business owner?  No, those are things that you do.  Often, we get caught up in what we do, we forget who we are.  I spent many years trying to be the best mom, wife, and teacher that I could be. I put all my energy into it because I enjoyed serving my family and my students.  The problem was when my marriage ended, and my career became increasingly more difficult,  I couldn’t recognize myself in the mirror.   This made me realize that I had focused on everyone else for so long that I lost who I was.   Stay-at-home parents fall into this same trap also because their world becomes their children.  Every day, I see parents, entrepreneurs, and married couples forget the WHY of their routine.   In my opinion, a mid-life crisis is sometimes a product of this phenomenon.   One day we wake up and say, what?  How did I get here?  

We must continue to feed the person we are with things that we love and remember that person you were before kids and careers.  Who are you?   Who are you when the kids are grown and retirement sets in? Who are you when no one is looking?  Who are you when you are alone for a day with no responsibilities?  

To be a better parent, you must be your authentic self.  Your children need to see the unique YOU.  It is by feeding your unique YOU that will bring happiness into your life and allow you to be the best version of yourself and, therefore, a better parent.  Isn’t that what you want for your kids?   Don’t you want them to have a parent that is happy and fulfilled and not just worn down by their routine?  Don’t you want your kids to be proud of their unique selves also?  Role modeling teaches them to be proud of who they are and not embarrassed by it.  Then, once we know that person we see in the mirror, and we are proud of the adult we have become, we can find more authentic use of our time.  Because the things that we do should be a reflection of who we are. 

So who are you?

 

042: How To Get My Child Moving

How To Get My Family Moving with special gust Serio Viraray! Sergio gives tips for how to move together as a family, how to incorporate movement into your workday, and how to make exercise a priority! Check out this great interview that will get your whole family up and moving their body!

#familymovement #familyexercise

Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer!  https://theimpactfulparent.com  Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too!  Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don’t miss an impactful tip!

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055: Rooted in MY story: An interview of HOW it began and WHY

Rooted in MY story:  An interview with Rooted Parent Movement where I talk about how and why I started The Impactful Parent organization.   

Parents Need Other Parents!   It’s time to bring the girls together!  The Impactful Parent will bring the discussion and the structure to your meetings, you just bring the drinks and snacks!   Everything you need to start your own mommy group and grow as more impactful parents along the way!  Check it out and find out more at https://theimpactfulparent.com/connectionandconversation

Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer!  https://theimpactfulparent.com  Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too!  Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don’t miss an impactful tip!

 

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044: Tips For School At Home

Tips For School At Home

It is Question and Answer Thursday and today's question was: How Can I Best Manage School-At-Home?

FREE PDF:  https://theimpactfulparent.com/schoolathome

**Tips For School At Home episode was broadcasted live on YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram.  Submissions for Q&A Thursday can be either emailed to The Impactful Parent directly or direct messaged through any of these social media platforms.  Submissions can be anonymous and are never mentioned in the Live Recording to respect the privacy of The Impactful Parent audience.  Email:  theimpactfulparent@gmail.com

Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer!  https://theimpactfulparent.com  Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too!  Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don’t miss an impactful tip!

Make an authentic connection with your child. Try a FREE 30 Day Challenge. You’ll receive a new question to ask your child every day- for 30 days. Get away from the boring questions and start connecting with your child one question at a time! https://theimpactfulparent.com/connection

Follow The Impactful Parent on social Media! Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, Pinterest, and YouTube.

043: Scared To Go Back To School- COVID

Scared To Go Back To School- COVID

It is Question and Answer Thursday and today's question was:  HOW DO I ALLOW MY CHILD TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL WHEN I AM SCARED THEY WILL GET EXPOSED TO COVID, BUT I ALSO DON'T HAVE THE MEANS TO DO SCHOOL-AT-HOME.

Apologies for the audio quality of this broadcast due to the LIVE nature of this recording: Scared To Go Back To School- COVID

**This episode was broadcasted live on YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram.  Submissions for Q&A Thursday can be either emailed to The Impactful Parent directly or direct messaged through any of these social media platforms.  Submissions can be anonymous and are never mentioned in the Live Recording to respect the privacy of The Impactful Parent audience.  Email:  theimpactfulparent@gmail.com

Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer!  https://theimpactfulparent.com  Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too!  Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don’t miss an impactful tip!

Make an authentic connection with your child. Try a FREE 30 Day Challenge. You’ll receive a new question to ask your child every day- for 30 days. Get away from the boring questions and start connecting with your child one question at a time! https://theimpactfulparent.com/connection

Follow The Impactful Parent on social Media! Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, Pinterest, and YouTube.

008: Cooking With Kids For Mental Health

Cooking With Kids For Mental Health with special guest Chef Kibby!  Listen as we discuss the benefits of cooking WITH your children to build bonds and help them with resiliency.  Better mental health can start in the kitchen!  Chef Kibby gives great tips!  Listen today!

Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer!  https://theimpactfulparent.com  Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too! 

054: 2020 Parenting Lessons

2020 Parenting Lessons

Link to Super Mom's Support Squad:  https://theimpactfulparent.com/supportsquad

2020 Parenting Lessons, because the year was a challenge but there were some good life lessons learned if you were willing to listen. 

Transcript:

Yikes, what a train wreck of a year!  Nothing happened like it was supposed to.  But although 2020 was full of resiliency and adversity, it was also full of life lessons (if you allow yourself to listen).  Here is what 2020 taught me.

My oldest son is 18. A senior year in high school, this poor kid had a year full of disappointment: no prom, no sports, no social outings, no homecoming parade. The list of "not this year" items that teenagers live for is endless.   Instead of looking at the situation with frustration, 2020 taught me to value this time with my oldest child because he will be gone in a year.  Thank you, 2020, for giving me my son this year.  I had more time and opportunities to talk with him this year than I ever would have done on my own under normal circumstances.  I could be there for him as a listening ear and empathizer when he needed to vent.  The result was a new bond with my son that I may not ever have had the opportunity to have.  Already, tears are welling up in my eyes, thinking about this child moving out and away next year!  2020 may have taught me to be grateful for this oldest child, but 2021 will have to teach me to let go.  His plan is out-of-state college.

My next oldest is 16!  This child taught me to reach out and talk to your teenager, even if you feel like a nagging mom.   This is my child that likes to lock themselves up in their room, watch YouTube videos all day and wear headphones all day long to "tune out" all the "noise" of life.  This child taught me to keep nudging your teen and NEVER underestimate the power of Short, Honest, Check-Ins.   2020 had this teen withdraw, and I was challenged to consistently try to reach out to my child and show my concerns.   I know that teens can make you feel like you are bugging them, but you must not give up on your efforts to show respect and love.   For this child, one-on-one time is the only way to bond with him.  I had to make special efforts to do this consistently throughout the year, even if the only time I had was a 15-minute car ride.  My perseverance and consistency paid off over time. As I close the 2020 year, I see that quality time is much more important than the quantity of time you spend with your child.  

My next middle child is 10! This child taught me the importance of meeting your child where they are at emotionally.   2020 was a rollercoaster of emotions, and sometimes kids just need you to meet them where they are to see them grow.  I used to approach bad situations with optimism and try to make my children feel better by convincing them to look at the bright side or count their blessings.  In 2020 I changed this parenting tactic.  I learned that sometimes kids do not want to hear the "good side." Instead, they need someone to feel the "shit" with them.  It is the act of sitting together in the sadness, anger, and frustration that can give a child hope.  This empathy technique says, 'You're not alone. I understand. And I will go through it with you so you can lean on me for support when you are ready." Instead of making my child change the way he feels, he changed because I allowed him to handle it. 

My youngest child is 8.  Over quarantine, this child painted rocks with words of encouragement and placed her unique stones all over our local park so that people could find them.  Sometimes we can find inspiration in the innocents of children.   She was concerned about others as the days of 2020 got longer and longer. She can observe society's big grey cloud overhead.  This child felt a need to help.  Although there was little she could do, she did what she could.  Sometimes, provoking a stranger's smile can ignite a spark of happiness that will pass along like falling dominos.  This child knows that and sparked her hope and joy all over our neighborhood with those happy rocks.  My daughter taught me not to ignore small acts of kindness, and 2020 taught me that small acts of kindness can get you through a rough year.

2020 was a challenge for me, but one of the most profound lessons I learned is also the one that most parents ignore.  What is the most overlooked yet valuable resource a parent can have?  Friends.  Good parent friends can make your parenting journey easier or harder, like night and day.  Friends can be the difference between sanity and insanity.  Parenting friends are priceless.   I could not see many of my supportive friends this year because of COVID, but I did keep in touch with 2.   It is because of these 2 ladies that I made it through the turbulence of 2020.  Those friends that allow you to vent and cry.  Those friends that show up for you when you cannot show up for yourself.  Friends, you can ask parenting questions and do not feel embarrassed or judged.  Parents need other parents.  We need support.  Finding friendships is the secret sauce to being a better parent.  It is a part of self-care and something we need to do for ourselves to keep our sanity. 2020 taught me the real value of friends and that investing in friendships is worth every-minute like GOLD.  

2020 was not easy, but I would be lying if I said it was all bad. There was a lot to learn in 2020 if you were willing to hear. I could not be more grateful for my lessons.  Perhaps I was not the most impactful parent, like in years past.  I let the kids sleep in my bedroom too often. We all watched too much TV and played too many videogames. All the together-ness of quarantine was rough at times. There were moments we wanted to kill each other! I also have never had a year full of so many hugs and special talks with my teens.   I also never had so many memorable moments on the couch.   In the end, 2020 reminded me that moms and dads do not need gifts, vacations, or elaborate plans to bond with their children. Each day presents itself with opportunities TO BE with your child, and what matters most is that you show up without your phone or distractions.

I hope this video blog brought value to you, and if it did, please press the like button and share this recording with a friend.  With my lessons of 2020 in mind, I have decided to start 2020 by helping other parents find their parenting friends.  I will be offering a special mom’s group in the new year where moms will come together to make friendships and grow in their parenting journey.   If you are interested in learning more about this excellent opportunity to meet other women and explore small group coaching with me, show your interest by going to the link:  https://theimpactfulparent.com/supportsqad, where you can sign up to be the first to know details of the program.   Space will be limited because bonding happens in small groups, so get on the waitlist now, and there is no commitment to buy.  Again visit, https://theimpactfularent.com/supportsquad.

Invest in your friendships in 2021.   Listen to the lessons the universe is teaching.  Become a more Impactful Parent.  

045: The Kid That Can’t Control Himself

The Kid That Can't Control Himself

It is Question and Answer Thursday and today's question was: How do I help my child that is loud and annoys friends and adults with his behavior.

**The Kid That Can't Control Himself episode was broadcasted live on YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram.  Submissions for Q&A Thursday can be either emailed to The Impactful Parent directly or direct messaged through any of these social media platforms.  Submissions can be anonymous and are never mentioned in the Live Recording to respect the privacy of The Impactful Parent audience.  Email:  theimpactfulparent@gmail.com

Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer!  https://theimpactfulparent.com  Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too!  Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don’t miss an impactful tip!

Make an authentic connection with your child. Try a FREE 30 Day Challenge. You’ll receive a new question to ask your child every day- for 30 days. Get away from the boring questions and start connecting with your child one question at a time! https://theimpactfulparent.com/connection

Follow The Impactful Parent on social Media! Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, Pinterest, and YouTube.

007: Money Talk With Amber Schoenrock

Money Talk With Amber Schoenrock gives EXCELLENT advice on

• how to teach your kids about money management
• warning for your child's early spending habits
• how to save financially for your child's future
• and so much MORE!

Contact Amber Schoenrock for a FREE consultation to help you and your family at 303-548-9066

Don’t forget to follow The Impactful Parent on social Media! Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, Pinterest, and YouTube.

Kids are expensive!  Pre-baby we are warned about this, but nothing prepares you.  To make matters worse, children get more expensive with age!   In the beginning, parents complain about the expense of diapers and formula.  Little do these new parents know that it is only the beginning!  School-aged children in Colorado often need a whole new wardrobe EVERY SEASON of EVERY YEAR!  Don’t even get me started on how teenagers will eat you out of house and home! They also “need” a smartphone or want a car…. I feel overwhelmed by just writing this!  Not to mention, COLLEGE! Ugh.  It is looming over parents’ heads like a grey cloud!  AHHHHH!   

We want the best for our children, but the financial responsibility to provide for them can be over overwhelming.  In addition to our financial awareness, we should also be teaching our school-aged children about money management.  Yep, that is up to YOU.  Many schools teach how to count money, but money management education comes best with practice and experience.   That means that the best “money smarts” comes from home.  At 18, your child will be old enough to apply for a credit card.  If you don’t teach money management before you send them off to college, you could be setting them up for failure and significant debt.   As parents, we are trying to grow independent, responsible adults!  Yet, money management teachings often get forgotten.  In my opinion, you can’t start your child too early in these lessons.   The more practice your child has, the more comfortable they will be with money, and the more likely you are setting them up for success!   Imagine your child graduating from college with thousands of dollars in student loan debt AND credit card debt.   Yikes!  Unless you want them to live at home and eat your meatloaf for many more years to come, it is best to teach these skills now. 

This week on the Bigger Impact, I interview financial advisor Amber Schoenrock.  Amber has taught hundreds of people fundamental financial concepts and has actively worked with families to start their journey towards financial freedom.  In the Bigger Impact, I ask Amber to describe the biggest money mistakes people make when going into college and leaving home.  I also ask her for tips that parents can use to teach money management. And lastly, I ask Amber what parents can do to set their kids up for college financially (even on a small budget).  

009: 2020 Was A Freaking Mess!

2020 Was A Freaking Mess!  This is my personal letter to Santa telling him how I wasn't the most impactful parent this year.  This honest and heartfelt letter to "the big man" will make you nod your head in agreement.  2020 wasn't all bad but it definitely was challenging.  I encourage Santa NOT to blame the kids for their behaviors because it wasn't their fault. 2020 was a freaking mess!

Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer!  https://theimpactfulparent.com  Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too!  Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don’t miss an impactful tip!

Don’t forget to follow The Impactful Parent on social Media! Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, Pinterest, and YouTube.

 

Transcript:

Dear Santa,

I have been a bad mom this year, but I tried my best.   I am hoping that effort counts for something, so I can still make the Good-List.  The pandemic took me entirely out of my comfort zone and routine.  When things shut down in March, I was completely caught off guard.   Sure, I was a little nervous about an invisible virus spreading over the world, but I did my best to hide my fears from the kids.   I think I did a good job of this, but when schools shut down, prom was canceled, and I couldn’t take the kids to the playground anymore- things went downhill.  I tried to keep spirits up in the home, but it was difficult when the kids had a birthday, and I couldn’t throw them a party like I usually do.   Thank God for Amazon; otherwise, there wouldn’t have been any gifts either.   I spent a lot of nights holding my crying and frustrated children.  I didn’t know what to say to them, though. I couldn’t make the circumstances go away.   All I could do was rock them in my arms and tell them that we were all in this together.  

We tried to stay in touch with family and friends by zoom, but that too got old quickly.  I admit, board games, making cookies, and crafts only entertained us for a few months.  After that, the house became a cage of aggressive howler monkeys.  The yelling, the restlessness, the boredom… mounted until kids were hanging off the walls.   I admit that I let them watch too much TV and play too many video games. Don’t hold that against my kids, Santa.  It was my fault.  I ran out of things to do at home, and all my creativity went out the window.  I think Karen across the street has my creativity now.  She seems to come up with the most engaging games for her kids to play in the yard.  Perhaps Karen has my sanity too.  I lost that around August when I thought school would start up again but found out that school was going remote for the first semester.   I try to be a good teacher to my kids, I promise, but I am faking the answers most days.  Apparently, I am NOT smarter than a fifth-grader, after all. Still, I watch the reruns after the kid’s bedtime anyway, hoping it can help! 

Santa, I’m letting my kids sleep in my room and eat ice cream a little too often.  Again, not their fault!  I feel bad that I won’t let them see their friends, all their extracurriculars are canceled, and I can’t even give them an end date to look forward to.  Honestly, there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight, and it makes me just as anxious.  I secretly love waking up in the middle of the night and watching them breathe.  They are so peaceful.  All the ice cream cones and candy is just a way of overcompensating for feeling like a mean-mom during the day.  I never wanted to be the “No” mom, but it does seem like “no” is the only word I say anymore.  

To make matters worse, I am dying for some ME time. I know my kids need me, but I am exhausted.  Don’t worry- I couldn’t find a babysitter to work during COVID anyway, and even if I did- where would I go?  What would I do?  Everything is shut down anyway.   It’s better to stay where I am needed and just try to sneak in a bath after bedtime to decompress. 

I guess what I am trying to say is that my kids have been good this year, Santa.  It isn’t their fault that they were irritable and frustrated.  So much was taken away from them, and we were completely thrown out of our routine.   Don’t blame them for hanging from the chandelier and acting like Monkeys.  The sugar cookies and stir-crazy quarantine made them do it.   The kids did the best they could.  I was even so impressed with how little they complained about wearing masks and sanitizing their hands a million times a day.   I think I had a more challenging time keeping my mask on my nose than they did.

Actually, my kids made me so proud.   They taught me how to be more resilient.   When something was taken away from them like a playdate, a school dance, or a sporting event- they cried for a few days but kept moving forward.   Of course, they needed to let out their sadness, but more importantly, it was how they chose to ignore what was taken away and instead focus on what they had.   We may have played more video games than we should have, but we also hugged more this year than we have in a long time.  I’d be lying if I said that I am grateful for 2020, but I would also be lying if I said the whole year was terrible.   My kids deserve great recognition and gifts this year for sure.  Don’t put them on the naughty list, even though from the outside it may not have looked like a year full of stellar behavior.  Considering the circumstances, they were very good.   They were just doing their best, and so was I.  

Maybe you will be coming down the chimney this year, or perhaps you won’t.   I understand if you have to socially distance yourself from us too.  But even if we don’t see you in-person this year, I still wanted you to know that although I might be on the naughty list this year, my kids were fantastic. I hope you understand that 2020 just needs a DO-OVER button with a better instruction manual.  I hope you know.

Sincerely,

This Impactful Parent