Parenting Stories, Struggles and Strategies for Moms and Dads of School-aged Children, Teenagers, and Impactful Parents

118: Supporting Children When They Are Wrongly Accused

Supporting Children When They Are Wrongly Accused

Supporting Children When They Are Wrongly Accused gives 5 Tips for helping your child. PLUS- 3 FREE parenting resources are also included in this episode! 

Supporting Children When They Are Wrongly Accused Links in Episode 👇

• More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com
• Learning questions to ask your kids at https://theimpactfulparent.com/learningquestions 
• Thinking Traps Video Link: https://theimpactfulparent.com.thinkingtraps
• Thinking Traps Free PDF at https://theimpactfulparent.com/thinkingtrapspdf

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Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletterso you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCASTand/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official websiteof The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

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Transcript for Supporting Children When They Are Wrongly Accused 

Welcome impactful parents! Today, we will talk about how to support your child when they are wrongly accused of doing something that they didn’t do.

Today’s question from the audience:  “I am trying to figure out how to help my young teen. A teacher thought he was on his phone and called him out in front of the class. He did not have his phone, and the teacher did not apologize. He is having a hard time moving past this and becoming productive in class. How do I help him work through his feelings so he can move on?”

This is a great question, and today I will give you 5 tips to helping your child that is wrongly accused.

[caption id="attachment_4081" align="alignright" width="300"]Supporting Children When They Are Wrongly Accused[/caption]

Tips #1 for helping your child that is wrongly accused is: Support your child first. What I mean by this is, believe your child and show empathy.  Could your child be lying to you about what happened? Sure, but probably not.  When your child comes to you sad, obviously bothered, and needing help- then they are likely telling the truth. Your child is looking to you for support and what to do.  Your child doesn’t have the life experience yet to know what to do when an authority figure wrongly accuses them. Taking their side and believing what they say means the world to your child.  They need your support. 

Then also show empathy.  LISTEN to what happened and let your child vent about their frustrations.  They need a listening ear right now. 

Tip #2 for helping your child that is wrongly accused is: Talk with the person who made the wrong accusations. Your child isn’t mature enough yet to handle the situation alone. Even most teenagers don’t have all the skills they need yet to confront authority figures appropriately. Having said that, take your child with you when you confront the authority.  They need to learn these skills, and watching you advocate for them will teach them how to advocate for themselves.  In this case, talk to the teacher.  Ask for a meeting time where you can talk to the teacher privately without students around.  The objective of the meeting should be to discuss your concerns and how the accusation is affecting your child.  This meeting is NOT to make the teacher apologize or see they were wrong.  You want to work with your teacher, not against them. To do this, you want to approach the meeting with

1. A quick summary of what you heard happened in the classroom.
2. A quick explanation of how your child feels like they were wronged and treated unfairly
3. The concerns you have for your child moving forward. Explain to the teacher how your child feels disengaged and doesn’t want to make an extra effort in class anymore due to the separated relationship between the teacher and the student. [caption id="attachment_4082" align="alignleft" width="300"]Supporting Children When They Are Wrongly Accused[/caption]

Good teachers will listen and understand how they may have made a mistake with the explanations you give and the efforts you are making for your child.  Many teachers will problem-solve with you and your child during that conference and even apologize. Teachers are humans too and make mistakes often.  Productively advocating for your child (coming from a place of concern) and NOT attacking the teacher.  Don’t come at the teacher acting like Mama Bear.  Instead, opening the conversation with a tone of concern will help diffuse the situation and open up the room for your child and the teacher to talk and reconnect.  That is the main goal of this conference!  Your child needs to feel safe and reconnect emotionally with their teacher.  Your child feels so badly because they trusted their teacher and now feel like their teacher turned on them.  To bring your child back to productivity, he has to reconnect with his teacher emotionally. He has to feel safe in the classroom. Kids don’t know how to facilitate these conversations alone, and it’s scary for them. That’s where you come in.  You need to make the appointment and set the tone for the conference as gentle, concerned, and worried.  Coming at the teacher like a Mama Bear will only put the teacher in defensive mode from the beginning. Then the meeting won’t be productive. So be careful in your approach.

Tip #3 for helping your child that is wrongly accused is: Make some next step changes if you have to. I hope that the situation resolves itself with step 2, but sometimes it just won’t.  Here is some next step I suggest after talking with the teacher and getting a failed response.

1. Talk with the principal. Yeah, go talk to the boss and see if you can make changes on a higher level.
2. Ask to change teachers. Switching teachers is the last resort because I don’t want to encourage your child to avoid their problems. Still, sometimes it can be easier to just change classrooms. Sometimes kids can’t get over their hurt emotions and need a fresh start in a new class to get back on track and feel happy again.
3. Start documenting what the teacher does. If the problem persists, you may want to document incidents so that you can present a more reasonable argument for concern to the school.  This will also allow you to see patterns in the classroom.

[caption id="attachment_4083" align="alignright" width="300"]Supporting Children When They Are Wrongly Accused[/caption]

Tip #4 for helping your child who is wrongly accused is: to talk about the consequences of allowing this incident to affect their life. In step 4, parents are trying to build resiliency in their children.  Life sucks sometimes, and it’s difficult to see our kids in emotional pain/frustration. Still, as a parent, we can use these “bad moments” to teach resiliency.  Start by talking with your child about the consequences of their actions.  What is going to happen if you don’t care about this class anymore?  Are you going to let this one person’s mistake affect your future?  I am giving you a free PDF today to help your child process the situation and help YOU ask the right questions.  This PDF gives you the right questions to ask your child to learn from the experience.  It may not seem like much, but asking the right questions is the key to success with kids.  To get your free PDF, go to https://theimpactfulparent.com/learningquestions

Tip #5 for helping your child that is wrongly accused is: watch out for thinking traps. When you get kids talking, but they are hurt emotionally, you will hear them speak absolutes.  “The world is going to end.” “I am going to fail.” “Everyone hates me.”  These are unhealthy ways of thinking that teens fall into really easily.  You’ll want to watch out for this, and so to help you, I have 2 awesome resources.

1. The first is this video where I talk about Thinking Traps, what they are, and how to spot them. The link is: https://theimpactfulparent.com/thinkingtraps
2. The second is this FREE PDF that you can print out that helps you remember what all the Thinking Traps are so you can reference the PDF later when you need it. https://theimpactfulparent.com/thinkingtrapspdf

But until next time, parents. You got this. I am just here to help.

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115: How To Teach Equity At Home

How To Teach Equity At Home

How To Teach Equity At Home with Liz Dempsey Lee.  Liz talks about being a more equitable parent, tips for teaching equity in the home, and why teaching equity is so important!

 

How To Teach Equity At Home. Links in Episode 👇

• More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com
• Liz's contact information is www.lizdepseylee.com

 

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the podcast and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina! Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

 -----------------------------

Transcript for HOW TO TEACH EQUITY AT HOME

 

Kristina: Welcome impactful parent. Today, we will talk about ways parents can weave equity into their family life and parenting. I have a special guest, Liz Dempsey Lee. Liz is a mom, an educator, a writer, a speaker, a consultant, and most importantly, she specializes in teaching equity. I'm very excited to have her on today. Thank you for being here, Liz.

Liz: Thank you so much for having me, Kristina. It's a pleasure to be here.

Kristina: I want to start with a very quick definition of equity to all be on the same page as we start our conversation.

Liz: I like to describe it as thinking about fairness within the community context. Every person, or in this case every child, within a community has to access to the things they need to become functional adults.

Kristina: Why does it matter to me as a parent to really learn what you will be teaching us today?

Liz: I appreciate this question. I will talk a little bit about what is considered good parenting and what is considered successful parenting. Are the ideas about good parenting and successful parenting reasonable in your community?

What's happened over time has been that our ideas about what makes a good parent and what makes a successful parent has become narrow. This puts a tremendous amount of pressure on parents. This pressure makes many of us feel like we're always doing it wrong. So when you start thinking about equity, one of the first things you have to think about is your particular community's expectations for you as a parent. What expectations do you feel? Are these expectations reasonable?

[caption id="attachment_4002" align="alignleft" width="300"]How To Teach Equity[/caption]

Our main goal is to have children who are happy, functional, healthy adults. Sometimes the definitions of good parenting become so narrow that they actually veer away from that ultimate goal. For example, in my community, the Boston area, we have a traditionally academic view of what it means to be good parents for a successful child. There's a lot of pressure on us to have our kids be good at everything that they do in the academic realm, whether that actually suits the child or not. So how does this relate to equity? Well, one of the first things is that if you have a very narrow definition of what you should be doing as a parent, you're actually leaving many people behind.

Kristina: There is a lot of pressure on parents, and it’s increasingly becoming worse. Media has made it even harder on parents because everyone feels like they have to keep up with the Jones’.

Liz: We're often told that our parenting is individual. And to a certain extent, that's true. Someone else is not going to come and bail out my child if there's an issue. However, our parenting is not in a vacuum and is more in an ecosystem. For example, if every child in your child's classroom dropped two plastic straws a day for a week, we'd have this huge mass of plastic straws around your child's school.

That is the kind of understanding I am trying to get parents to understand. Individually, there's not a lot of responsibility on the surface. But collectively, if everyone acts in the same way, collective actions ripple out into the community. The collective result can be good or bad.  Over the last couple of years, we've seen that if everyone pays attention to not using plastic straws, we can have that same kind of ripple effect, but positively. So parenting, even though we're often told it's individual by family, it doesn't exist in a vacuum. That's why we feel pressure to conform to the “normal” of our community. I can give an example.

In my community, academic success is highly valued. Several after-school math programs in my area charge a ton of money to advance your child in mathematics. A couple of parents chose to enroll their children. Before you know it, several families also felt the pressure to enroll their children so that their own children wouldn’t fall behind the other kids.  The ripple effect was obvious. Suddenly, it was the norm of the community to pay a lot of extra money for math classes after school.   Children that don’t even like math were pressured to excel and enroll also. Instead, parents need to be mindful of their parenting practices. Ask yourself, is it the right thing for my kid? Is it the right thing for my community? And does this parenting choice have the desired result? Separate yourself from the stress, and think about it in a way that will allow you to make less anxiety provoked decisions, if that makes sense. I can give you an example.

[caption id="attachment_4001" align="alignleft" width="300"]How To Teach Equity[/caption]

Two teenagers are taking the SAT. The goal of the SAT is to get the highest score possible. The two children are the same, but one child has many resources, and the other doesn't. Child #1 has parents that pay for extra pre-SAT preparation classes and can pay for their child to take the SAT multiple times. The other child does not. Research shows that the child who engages in all this extra work will see a substantial increase in their SAT score. The result is Child #1 appears to be more successful than the other child with the same profile. This is where our parenting actions can reinforce inequities. And again, in my community, it's very common for people to pay for their children to go through multiple extra activities. In contrast, other children who are equally as successful academically and capable are left behind. That's where we, as parents, can unwittingly be creating inequities within a community even worse.

Kristina: That is the story of everyday life. We all don't have the same amount of resources. We don't have the same amount of anything. We are all coming from different places and can provide our children with different things. Some parents can provide their children with a plethora of resources but don’t provide their children with a plethora of love, time, and attention.

It is also interesting to see that our small decisions affect the entire community. This is true. Our lives leave fingerprints on others. We should look at our parenting as a collective. What are a few concrete actions that parents can take today to get started trying to be more equitable with their children?

Liz: I tell parents to pay attention to the messages that they're receiving from their community. If you’re wrestling with a parenting decision, are you thinking, “I have to do this,” or “I must do that?” Maybe you are saying to yourself, “I should do this,” or “everybody else is doing this.” 

Those are signs that you're not approaching this parenting decision from the perspective of what your family needs. Instead, you are listening to what other people in the community are saying is important. Frequently, that kind of decision will actually feel physically uncomfortable. So, if you hear yourself saying, “I have to put my child in a soccer clinic; otherwise, they'll never be as good as their peers,” then rethink your decision process.

Kristina: What else can parents do to incorporate equity into their home?

Liz:  When you are at your child's school, ask what other children in the classroom need. The kids in our community have different needs. Find out what's best for your child. Then ask how your child’s needs differ from others in the class. Discover what your community needs, not just your child.

[caption id="attachment_4000" align="alignleft" width="300"]How To Teach Equity[/caption]

The last thing I want to say is that often, parents are afraid to have hard conversations with kids. Yet, equity conversations are important. It’s ok to make mistakes. Talk to your kids. It’s ok to tell your kids that you are confused too and don’t have all the answers.

Kristina: Yes!  It is ok not to have all the answers!  Instead, tell your child that you don’t know, but you’ll find the answers together! That statement is powerful to kids. Kids can see that their parent is human, but they're going to help them find answers as a team. 

I have one last question for you, Liz.  The equity struggle is everywhere.  Kids feel it in their everyday lives without realizing it.  It usually starts as, “Why does that kid get more time on their test, and I don’t.” Or more common is, “Why does Sara’s mom let her have a phone, and I don’t get one?”  How can parents start teaching kids about equity in their real-life situations?

Liz: I'm laughing because the cell phone conversation is one that my son is having right now. I'm feeling this really personally at the moment. When kids bring up issues of fairness, parents should go back to the original definition of equity. Is my child getting what they need to be a successful adult? Understand that it is not a one-size-fits-all.

Just because other families have a cell phone or a later curfew doesn't mean it's appropriate for our family. One thing I do with my kids is, encourage them to present a case for their argument.  I hear out their reasoning and have them think critically about parameters and guidelines. We have a conversation. It becomes an ongoing discussion between my child and me. And if you call me back in a year, I'll let you know how that's gone.

Kristina: It is all about starting a conversation. That is the bottom line. Start a conversation with your child about equity.

If people want to learn more about equity from you, where can they find you?

Liz: I have a website and a blog. It is at lizdempseylee.com

Kristina: Until next time, you got this, parents. We're just here to help.

 

-----------------------------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch), go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today, and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, create keywords your audience can type to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses, and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

 

116: Teaching Kids: Life Isn‘t That Good

Teaching Kids: Life Isn't That Good

Teaching Kids: Life Isn't That Good.  Tips for teaching kids the reality of life so they can gain coping skills to become successful adults. 

Teaching Kids: Life Isn't That Good Links mentioned in the episode:

• More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com
• FREE Newsletter sign up so you don't miss an impactful parenting tip. https://theimpactfulparent.com/bigimpact

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina! Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

 -----------------------------

Transcript for TEACHING KIDS THAT LIFE ISN'T THAT GOOD:

Life isn’t that good

              Don’t’ believe the hype!  Life isn’t that good.  I used to believe the Leave It To Beaver and Andy Griffith reruns that I grew up on.  Not anymore.   Experience quickly taught me that life is not just black and white. As a tween, I was still confused because life was showing me more hardship, but TV kept showing me more great families like The Cosby’s and the Keatons from Family Ties.  Then, the show Rosanne premiered.  This was ground-breaking at the time because it represented a not-so-perfect TV sitcom family.   America loved it.   Rosanne was a highly rated show for a while, but it didn’t last.  Before I knew it, TV was back to either representing family life as sweet and perfect as the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire or MTV was showing me the craziest of people on the new fad of reality TV.  Needless to say, I learned to stop watching TV altogether.  My life expectations were confused!

              Today’s kids are in the same predicament!  Social media shows everyone happy.  Life is perfect in the pictures of Instagram and Facebook.  These picture-perfect moments are making our kids feel inadequate. Everyone else is having more fun in the Snapchat videos.  But this generation has it worse.   The TV shows of my day weren’t personal.  I was still several degrees away from knowing Michael J. Fox and Will Smith.  Today, photos and videos are personal.  They are posts of the kids at school. People they see walking in the halls.   Social media makes life look perfect and creates an unrealistic expectation for our children.  Life is not that great!  We only post the good parts.

I am going to go one step further and suggest that you teach your kids that pain, failure, heart ache, and disappointment in their life is absolutely NORMAL.    Some of the depression that exists in our young people today stems from unrealistic expectations of how their life should be.   With social meda only glorifying and portraying the “good” moments- our young people are being manipulated to think that their life should be that good. They should look that good, feel that good, be that happy…  Social media influence is stupid and completely fake! 

What do we do as parents?  How can we combat unrealistic expectations? Well, unfortunately, most parents make it worse by sheltering their kids too much and putting them on teams where everyone gets a trophy. As parents, we are to prepare our kids for the real world.  We want our kids to grow up, leave home, and be successful adults.  If you’re not preparing your kids for real-world expectations and skills for combating real-world issues, then you are not preparing your kids to be successful.  In fact, you are setting them up for failure.   Of course, we all want our kids safe and happy, but life isn’t that good.  We need to prepare our kids for the hard times too.   Let me tell you another story….

My son runs cross county and is a good athlete.  Having said that, he isn’t a runner.  He runs cross country for his team, but it’s not his primary sport, nor is his body the made-to-run tall and thinly build.  Last week, his small school competed against some big schools in the area, and my wonderful son ran across the finish line last.   Yep dead last.   As a parent, I had a few choices on how to react to this. 

1. Get mad at the coach for setting him up for failure
2. Cry with him and soothe him. Tell him that he is a great runner, and the next time he will do better.
3. Tell him the truth. Remind him that running is not his primary sport. He did a great job.  Tell him that I was proud of him for never giving up and talk to him about the realities of coming in last.

Yes, I took path number 3.  Sometimes in life, we come in last.   Sometimes others deserve to win more.  As parents, it is important to teach humility, effort, and grace as much as it is to teach them grit and drive. Learning these lessons are never easy, but learning them at a young age is much better.  When children are young, they can rationalize better and process experiences better.  Learning hard lessons young gives them time to learn coping skills. The younger you can teach your kids to lose, and congratulate others who out-perform you,  the more drive they will have to win!  Better yet, wining will become more meaningful and something they can be proud of.  

So put your kids in sports, clubs, and competitions where they can win AND lose.  Don’t shelter them from loss.  Instead, take losing as an opportunity to teach them valuable lessons.  The short-term may be hard, but in the long run, you will be giving them a much more beneficial experience.

One of my favorite examples of this is from Walt Disney’s Nemo.  Dory is so wise in the movie when she is talking about Nemo to Marlen.  Marlen is Nemo’s dad and a classic hover parent.  She says to him,

 

“You can’t never let anything happen to him.  Then nothing would ever happen to him!”

 

You have to let your child experience life and part of that experience is emotional pain.  When you think of it that way, you realize that protecting kids from pain is unrealistic.  In fact, it is doing them a disservice!   The best lessons in life are learned through pain.  I am sure that you have had a painful experience in your life and when you recovered from it, you were wiser and better for it.   Maybe it was a heart ache, maybe you got caught doing something… whatever it was- it was the EXPERIENCE that made you LEARN and then you grew from that experience.   As a teacher, I can tell you with all certainty that we don’t learn best from books or theory or because our parents told us so, - we learn from experience. 

 

I am not saying that you let them do Whatever they want- yes, boundaries are important, but there is a balance between protecting them and letting them live and make their own choices. 

When they are having emotional pain, here are you dos and don’ts

Don’t:  Don’t ask what happened… yet.

Do:  Instead start with empathy.  Say something like,  I see you are upset.  I am just going to sit right here and be with you for a bit.  If you want to talk about why you’re upset, I am here to listen.  Then just sit and be there.  Listen.  Validate their feelings.

Don’t:  Don’t say ‘You SHOULD have done this…”  You should have done that… This turns kids off- especially teenagers.  You can process better choices later AFTER they have had time to process their feelings.  Give them one thing to focus on at a time.  They don’t want your advice at that moment.  They want someone to hear them!

Do: Stay calm- no matter WHY they are upset.

Don’t: Don’t get upset yourself and make judgements about the situation.  This is really bad.  If you start saying stuff like, “I knew that friend was horrible” or getting emotionally charged yourself, they won’t be able to calm down AND you will be digging yourself a hole when they will be friends again with that person next week. 

Much like when your child was a toddler and they fell- if you react like “OH NO…. and scream- then they will scream.  But if you are calm, then they learn to fall and remain calm.   Even teenagers are looking to you for guidance on how they should be controlling their emotions. 

Bottom line is:  impactful parents don’t save their kids from being hurt.  Impactful parents don’t always have high achievers or outstanding athletes.  No, instead impactful parents are just doing their best to grow proficient happy adults.  They pick up and support their children in learning, growing, and being the child’s best unique self.  Because life isn’t that good. You know that and I know that, so let your children learn that too- now when they have your love, support, and guidance when they are still living at home.  Protect them from what you can, but let them live. 

Because it’s the not-so-good moments in life that fertilizes the soul for growth.

You got this parents. I am just here to help.

 

-----------------------------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

 

114: Keeping Your Sex Life Alive After Kids

Keeping Your Sex Life Alive After Kids

------------------------------

Keeping Your Sex Life Alive After Kids with Azaria Menezes.  Azaria gives tips for keeping the spark alive even when parents are tired.

------------------------------

Keeping Your Sex Life Alive After Kids. Links in Episode 👇

• More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com
• More from Azaria at www.azarimenezes.com

------------------------------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina! Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

--------------------------------

Transcript for Keeping Your Sex Life Alive After Kids

Kristina: Welcome impactful parents. Today we're going to talk about how to keep your sex life alive after kids. I have a special, Azaria Menezes. Azaria is a sex and relationship coach that supports moms and couples to reignite that spark to their sexuality in the bedroom. Welcome, Azaria.

Azaria: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited that we get to talk about such a juicy topic.

Kristina: Yes, it is, and it's one that many people need help with. So, my first question to you is, how to keep the sex life alive when you're feeling exhausted? That is the number one complaint that I hear from most parents, especially moms. By the end of the day, they are just too tired for sexy time.

Azaria: This is so common. A lot of people are too tired to have sex after a long day.  Let's just normalize being tired and not wanting to have sex. It is a thing. BUT, there are also many ways to keep that spark alive in your bedroom. It’s important to find ways to eliminate those things that turn you off and find other ways to increase those things that really turn you on. I will give you a quick example. I cannot have sex when my room is really messy, and there's baby stuff everywhere, and everything is a mess. I like to keep my bedroom very clean. I like to keep all the baby stuff out of the bedroom. I also love to bring flowers into the bedroom so that when I go in there, my bedroom is a sanctuary. It gives a little bit of energy and wakes me up.

Look at things that give you energy and make you feel less tired, so you can approach sex with your partner.

Kristina: I love that suggestion. I feel like a lot of parents make the mistake of letting their children invade the entire house. We don't want to do that. It makes parenting even more exhausting. Everywhere you look, there is evidence of children and leave the parents with no break or place of their own. By allowing your child to be all over the house with their presence or even just their toys, you are giving your child a lot of power over you.  A bedroom is a place you want to keep sacred for yourself.

This brings me to my next question. I know a lot of partners do not have the same sex drive. This can be a big roadblock for couples. How would you help a couple that can’t seem to sync up their sex drive to want sex at the same time?

Azaria:  Absolutely. This is a common thing. It's really hard to have your libidos match up all the time. Many parents feel they have no time to have sex.  Many factors can contribute to mismatched libidos, jobs, kids, and even hormonal imbalances.

Parents need to change their mindset. Instead, there are other ways to be intimate without penetrative sex. Take some time to think about what you do feel in the mood for. So instead of saying, Oh honey, I'm not in the mood for sex, what is it that you would love to do and still be intimate with your partner? How do you want to feel connected? Maybe that's an important message? Find middle ground on something that you would like to experience together. It doesn't have to be penetrative sex. Other juicy things can arouse you. Try getting naked and doing a hot, intimate, kissing session together. I know it is really easy to get into disconnection and a routine of not having sex. Many parents think I don't really want to have sex, so they don't have any intimacy. The routine of going to bed, watch Netflix together, and go to sleep, can destroy intimacy.  Remember that there are many other options. There are many options to support your partner's pleasure and for your partner to support your pleasure in whatever capacity that feels yummy and delicious for you. Intimacy is important to keep alive, especially after having kids. Remember that connection and intimacy go hand in hand.

Kristina: I love that you brought up that sometimes hormones could throw things off. When I was breastfeeding my children, I did not want anybody touching me. I had to be touched all day long, and eventually, moms get touched out.  My hormones also made my libido non-existent.

The point is, many parents get touched out by the end of the day. Then, your significant other walks in the door, and they need a physical touch too. Some people have physical touch as their love language. Do you have any tips for somebody who's touched out but has a partner that needs the physical touch?

Azaria: This is tricky. I’ve been there too.  I didn't want anybody even breathing in my space.

What's important is to prioritize time for yourself where you get to spend time with yourself to recharge. Self-care doesn’t have to take long. Create a non-negotiable time for yourself. One thing that you do every day, just for you. Usually, it's good to do your recharge in the evening before you connect with your partner. Fill your tank, and then you will have the capacity to connect with your partner. Ask your partner for help with your recharge time.  If they know your intentions and benefit them, then many partners are happy to help.

Kristina:  Asking your partner for help can be difficult, but it is very important. I'm glad you mentioned it.

Can you give us suggestions for how we can connect with our partner?

Azaria: Yeah, absolutely. This is a great exercise that I give my clients.  I love doing it myself, which is a good way to feel great at the end of the day.

This exercise is called, What can I offer you? Ask your partner, What can I offer you? What can I do for you today that would make the day feel complete? Each person gets 10 minutes.  Maybe it's a yummy foot massage? Perhaps they just want to share about their day? Maybe they want you to rub their back for 10 minutes? Offer your partner 10 minutes of your undivided attention, and then it is your turn. This is a beautiful way to connect at the end of the day. If you are intentional, frequently, all you need is 10 or 15 minutes at the end of the day to feel connected.

Kristina: 10 minutes feels manageable to me. I can give the person I love at least 10 minutes every day. That does not seem overwhelming or too much of a burden.

Azaria: A lot of the time, we don't even ask ourselves what we need. We don't take the time to close our eyes, slow down and connect with our partners. This exercise can be very nourishing.

Kristina: My last question to you is, how do you start conversations about sex, intimacy, and needs? How do you start talking about it with your partner?

Azaria: I recommend creating an intentional space to talk. Many times when we start conversations, our intentions are good, but the timing is off. Somebody is rushing out the door, or two people are in the middle of a fight when one says,  Oh yeah, And by the way, …

Creating an intentional space for a conversation when both people feel good can facilitate a better environment for communication. Say to your partner, I care about our relationship. I want to listen to your feelings around this, and I would love the opportunity to share my feelings too.

Kristina: How can the audience contact you if they want more help?

Azaria: You can find me on Instagram under @azariamenezes. There are tons of ways to work with me. My website is www.azariamenezes.com. I also have a very juicy podcast to increase your pleasure in relationships. It's called Getting Intimate.  Come find me.

Kristina: Until next time, you got this, parents! We are just here to help.

-----------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

112: Common Money Mistakes Parents Make

Common Money Mistakes Parents Make

Common Money Mistakes Parents Make.  Misty Lynch, a financial advisor, gives tips for money management, preparing for the future, and teaching your kids a good money mindset.

 

Common Money Mistakes Parents Make Links in Episode 👇

• More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com
• Misty's website https://mistylynch.com

 

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!​

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:​

Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.

Follow The Impactful Parent on social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest

Subscribe to the PODCAST and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link

Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!

Discover how you can work with Kristina! Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

 

Transcript for Common Money Mistakes Parents Make:​

Kristina: Welcome, parents! Today we're going to talk about how parents influence their children’s perspective on money.  How we talk about money matters! And our guest today also gives us tips for not being a financial burden on our children later in life. So let me introduce you to Misty Lynch.  She is a financial advisor. She also hosts a weekly podcast called Modern Money. Thank you for being here, Misty.

Misty: Thank you so much for having me, Kristina.

Kristina: How do parents influence children with just how we talk about money?

Misty: Many people can remember the way their parents felt about money. Kids listen to how their parents feel about money, which impacts how they look at money throughout their lives. If they're always hearing things like, ‘we can't afford that,’ or ‘must be nice,’ then children will view money from a scarcity mindset.  Kids will think that there is never enough and maybe start to feel afraid of money.

[caption id="attachment_3839" align="alignleft" width="300"]Money Mistakes Parents Make[/caption]

Kids today are also in a new generation of learning from how we grew up. Kids are not used to even seeing cash! They view money as swiping a card or touching a button. This makes it really difficult to understand the concept of spending.

We can have better conversations with our children at a young age to build a healthy relationship with money because it will always be a part of their lives. I think that money is one of those parenting things that sometimes we don't even teach. I see many parents who just assume that the school teaches kids about money, and most of the time, that is not the case. In reality, education starts in the home. Parents need to teach how to save, how to spend, what investments are, and things like that.

Our kids are actually having more difficulty understanding or comprehending money because they don't physically use it the way we did when we grew up. It's all virtual.  And parents need to start these lessons young, so they have lots of time to learn.   We want teens to be proficient in money and learn how far the dollar stretches. You don’t want kids to learn these lessons in college when they are alone with little guidance.

Kristina: One of the things that many parents struggle with is, giving their kids too much. Parents want to give their children the luxuries they never had.  All of this comes from a place of love, but it can also cause problems when parents give too much, and kids don’t learn the dollar's value.

[caption id="attachment_3838" align="alignright" width="300"]Money Mistakes Parents Make[/caption]

Misty: Yes, it happens all the time and can be a slippery slope.  It’s good to make your kids earn the money they need to buy things they want.  It is also good to get kids used to waiting for what they want and need because real life isn’t always giving them instant gratification.  These lessons are better learned from you than by running up credit card bills in the future.

My kids also like to do charitable giving to an organization that means something to them.  Children are naturally generous and want to help.  Teaching kids about charitable giving early helps instill these great values.

Kristina: I'm a big advocate for letting kids save and wait for the things that they need. It is very hard to watch them be frustrated, but it's all a part of the process and growth. For me, it is so difficult to bite my tongue and let them buy that crappy toy that they will break 2 seconds after they get home.  But most kids need to learn by doing and not by listening to your advice. Parents need to let them buy that crappy toy and let it break so that their child will make a better choice next time.

An allowance is also important for kids.  Kids don’t need to get paid for all their chores, but it is nice to give them monetized rewards for chores that are over and beyond the parent’s standard expectations.  Allowances allow kids to experience and play with money so they can learn.  Kids won’t learn from reading about it. They need to interact with money, spend it, save it, etc., to really understand its value.

[caption id="attachment_3837" align="alignleft" width="300"]Money Mistakes Parents Make[/caption]

At what age would you recommend for parents to open up a bank account for children?

Misty:  It depends on the type of account and what the reasoning for the account is. To save for college, I suggest a 529 plan; the sooner, the better. Some bank accounts now are made for kids and come with their own debit cards.  These are great for teaching kids about money, and I recommend starting those kinds of bank accounts around age 8-12.

Kristina: I know many parents worry about being a financial burden on their children. Do you have any advice for them?

Misty: Yes, I hear that concern a lot. Most people don’t retire on the day they expect.  The majority of people stop working due to injury, inability, health, or job elimination.  To make matters worse, you can’t borrow money from the bank for retirement.  That is something everyone needs to prepare for and expect.

Saving for retirement is very hard when you're thinking about what's going on right now like your kid wants dance lessons. The dance lessons feel like the most important thing right now, but it's really just the thing that's right in front of your face.  It is the thing that is happening today.

Parents need to talk with their employer and discover workplace benefits like life insurance and 401 K plans.  If you're self-employed, get an advisor to help you put money away for future you.

Kristina: What would be the first steps for a parent who wants to start saving right now?

Misty:  Start working with your employer for additional benefits. See if they have anything available in terms of retirement plans. Some companies get a tax break to help their employees.  I also suggest having those saving come directly out of your paycheck automatically.  This is much better than deciding between saving for retirement and giving the kids more dance lessons. A direct withdrawal before your paycheck even gets deposited into your account will assure you are saving and be less stressful.

If you're self-employed or contract work, talk to an advisor about an IRA.  

Either way, talk to a financial advisor.  Financial advisors used to be only for the wealthy, but now they are for EVERYONE. 

Kristina: What are some other major money mistakes that you see parents make?

Misty: The biggest mistake I see all the time is not having any sort of estate planning, life insurance, or plan in place for when the parents are gone. Parents say that their kids are the most important thing in the world to them and that they don’t want to be a financial burden on them. Still, then they have no plan and no custody agreement in place for an expected or unexpected death. If you don't make these plans and have them in writing, your children may not be left in the care of the person of your choice.  I know for me, I want to make those decisions while I am still healthy and happy.

Keep in mind that these plans are probably cheaper than you think!  It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money.

Kristina: How do people contact you if they want your help, Misty?

Misty: Go to mistylynch.com.  My website has information about investment management, financial planning, and a group coaching program for working on a better money mindset.

Kristina: Thank you, Misty.  And until next time, parents, you got this! We're just here to help.

 

MORE FROM THE IMPACTFUL PARENT​

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:​

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

113: When kids say, ”I don‘t think they like me.”

When kids say, "I don't think they like me."

When kids say, "I don't think they like me." In this episode, Kristina gives practical tips to parents for helping their children cope with the frustration and hurt of someone not liking them.

When kids say, "I don't think they like me."
Episode links 👇

• More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com
• Submit your question for next week by emailing Kristina at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

WHAT TO DO NEXT:

Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.

Follow The Impactful Parent on social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest

Subscribe to the PODCAST and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link

Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!

Discover how you can work with Kristina! Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

 

Transcript for I DON'T THINK THEY LIKE ME

Welcome impactful parents! Today, we will talk about how to teach our kids the lesson: Not Everyone is going to like you. 

 

Hi, My name is Kristina.  I am the founder of The Impactful Parent, and every week I come on here and answer one of your questions LIVE.  So if you have a question for me for next week, please email me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com.  All submissions are kept anonymous. 

 

Today we have a great question.  It reads, my child gets really upset when they think someone doesn’t like them at school.  It causes so much drama in our house.  How do I teach my child that not everyone will like them no matter what they do? 

 

This is a great question and not an easy situation.  Some kids are naturally people's pleasures.  It really bugs these kids when they think someone doesn’t like them.  I am really glad this parent wrote in asking for help. It is important to support our children in learning the “Not everyone will like you” lesson as early as possible. They need to develop the coping skills they need to continue feeling good about THEMSELVES.  If they continue to wallow in the sadness of “that person doesn’t like me,” then it could affect their mental health, and your child will start getting into the habit of thinking like a victim.  We don’t want them.  We want our kids to be confident and empowered. 

 

So what should parents do to help turn this victim mentality into empowerment?  Today I am going to give you 5 suggestions.  Let’s get started.

First, you want to validate your child’s feelings.  I know you might want to say, “Don’t worry about it.  That person isn’t worth your time, and who cares if they like you!” But that does NOTHING for your child.  Instead, let your child be heard.  Tell them that it’s ok to feel sad that they think someone doesn’t like them.  Validate that it doesn’t feel good.  And then LISTEN. Don’t try and fix anything.  Just listen.  Don’t give advice.  Just listen.  Giving your child the stage to talk and let out their feelings BEFORE you start making suggestions is a priority. 

 

Step 2 is talking about the reasons WHY someone might not like them. Remind your child that it may not even be their fault or anything that they can control.  There are infinite reasons why someone might not like you, but here are a few of the most common reasons.

• You remind the person of something they are lacking. Is your child better at a sport, gets better grades, is more attractive or likable? Your child might make others jealous of their successes and talents. Of course, this has nothing to do with your child. Instead, this is a reflection of the insecurities and jealousy of the other child. The jealous child likely feels bad about themselves because your child reminds them of their failures and imperfections.

• Your child might remind them of something bad. For example, if your child looks like a bully from the other child’s past, then your child won’t be liked.  Again, not your child’s fault. But the trauma of one person’s past can cause them not to like you because you remind them of things they want to forget.

• Your child feels like a threat. Sometimes a person will dislike someone who threatens their position. For example, does the other child think your child will steal their friends, take away from their attention, or steal their status? 

• Perhaps the other child is projecting their own fears on your child. Some kids will gossip about others to empower themselves.  This is the classic case of someone bullying or putting someone down to build themselves up and regain some power. Ultimately, the other child feels powerless.

Go through this list with your child and examine with them, Could This Be Why?

 

Step 3 is to start asking questions about how YOUR CHILD's behaviors might have made the other person feel. As much as we would like to believe that our kids are angels, there are circumstances when our children provoke the situation.  Start a conversation about how their behaviors might have a domino effect on others.  Were they bragging too much? Were they leaving someone out on accident?  Were they talking about things that made others uncomfortable? 

The main point here is that your child needs to realize that their actions have reactions.  Talk about how they might have contributed to the situation.

 

Step 4 is to encourage your child to have a self-positive talk in their head. Even if they don’t believe themselves at first, encourage your child to give themselves a pep talk throughout the day.  For example, have them think, “I am ok.  I don’t need everyone to like me.” “I can’t please everybody, and that’s ok. I can only be my best self.” 

 

And lastly, encourage your child to spend time with people who do like them. Extra time with friends that will lift your child’s spirits and make them gain confidence is easy for parents to allow and encourage. 

If you have a question for next week, please email or message me on social media.  And don’t forget to check out my website, where you will find all kinds of stuff for your school-aged child-like free 30 day challenges, free pdf resource documents, online parenting classes, or sign up to have a free consultation to work with me directly.  Maybe family coaching can be the key to turning your chaos into a connection with your child!  Go to https://theimpactfulparent.com

But until next time, you got this, parents!  I am just here to help.

----------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:​

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

111: Same Gender Couple Adoption

Same Gender Couple Adoption

Same Gender Couple Adoption.  Mr. Jay, talks about his personal experiences with adopting 2 children, he speaks about being a same-gender parent and gives everyone tips for making adoption successful. 

Same Gender Couple Adoption Story. Links in Episode 👇

• More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com
• Jay's book at https://tinyurl.com/4yta7s33

--------------------------------------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

--------------------------------

What To Do Next:

Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.

Follow The Impactful Parent on social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest

Subscribe to the PODCAST and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link

Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!

Discover how you can work with Kristina! Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

------------------------------------

Highlights for Same Gender Couple Adoption

• Jay's personal story
• How Jay's story is different
• Foster to adopt
• agency adoption
• The question BOTH birth mothers wanted to know.
• Recommendations for same-gender couples wanting to adopt
• Discrimination
• What they do on Mother's day
• Why Jay doesn't celebrate a Gotcha Day
• What Jay does when his kids feel different
• What they do when someone asks if the kids have a mom
• AND SO MUCH MORE!

------------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

110: How Do I Get My Child To Eat Healthier

Getting Kids To Eat Healthier with Jill Bucaro.  Jill gives tips and tricks for getting your child to eat healthy without the battles! 

 

It is Question and Answer LIVE, and today's question was: How Do I Get My Child To Eat Healthier?

Here are the links from today’s episode:

• More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com
• Jill's Program: www.wellnessriot.com

**This episode was broadcasted live on YouTube, Facebook, Linked In, and Instagram.  Submissions for Q&A Thursday can be either emailed to The Impactful Parent directly or direct messaged through any of these social media platforms.  Submissions can be anonymous and are never mentioned in the Live Recording to respect the privacy of The Impactful Parent audience.  Email:  theimpactfulparent@gmail.com

 

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

What to do next:

Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.

Follow The Impactful Parent on social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest

Subscribe to the PODCAST and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link

Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!

Discover how you can work with Kristina! Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

 

Summary for GETTING KIDS TO EAT HEALTHIER:​

• Why healthy eating is important.
• How eating unhealthy affects kids
• Tips for getting your child to WANT to eat healthily
• Jill's resource for parents
• AND SO MUCH MORE!

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

109: FERPA: What are all those back-to-school documents?

Here are the links from today’s episode What is FERPA?: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ferpa

IF YOU HAVE A STORY OF INSPIRATION AND LEARNING and want to share your story with The Impactful Parent community, let’s talk!  Go to https://theimpactfulparent.com/work-with-me and sign up for a quick phone call to tell me what your story is all about!  We want to learn from you too!

Don't forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer!  https://theimpactfulparent.com  Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too!  Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don't miss an impactful tip!

Follow The Impactful Parent on social Media! Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, Pinterest, and YouTube.

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Here is a link to Apple Podcasts to get started! Thank you!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

Transcripts For What Is FERPA?:

Kristina: Welcome impactful parent. Today we're going to talk about the legal things with educational privacy, which is super important because you are probably giving your schools more power than you realize. So today, I have Deborah Jones. Deborah is a PTA mom of two. She is a lawyer turned business owner and a podcaster. Still, I bought this litigation lawyer on to talk a little more in-depth about FERPA and all those documents parents sign at the beginning of each school year. Thank you for being here, Deborah.

Deborah: Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here. It's a really important topic, and I'm glad we're getting into it.

Kristina:  I have been in education for a long time, both professionally and personally.  There are things that I learned from you (which we will talk about today) that I didn't even know. So let’s get started. What kind of information are the schools getting from parents, and can they distribute it?

Deborah: Schools can share information like names, addresses, telephone listings, even the weight and height of athletic team members. There are privacy laws out there. FERPA is the main law we're going to talk about today because that's the federal law, and it protects your child's privacy but not as much as you would think.

Kristina: What is FERPA? How does this happen?

Deborah: Yeah, great question. So, let me just give a little bit of background. FERPA is the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act. There are two kinds of information. One is just the general personally identifiable information about your child. That includes anything that a school is keeping in its records about your child. It could be an IEP, it could be grades or even any disciplinary actions. It also includes emergency contact information. It includes everything that you signed up for when you registered as your student. All that information is part of their educational record. Any information that a school designates as “directory information” can be shared without your permission, so long as once a year the school tells you, as the parent, what is directory information.

When you register your child every fall, the school will send you a packet of information. Most parents gloss over it and sign. Well, in that packet was defined directory information that includes things I just shared: names, addresses, phone numbers, athlete's information, etc.  Schools can share that information as long as you are signing once a year.

Kristina: I am guilty of that. I guess I should be reading the fine print!

Deborah: Well, it's interesting because you have to proactively opt-out if you want to protect that information. Keep in mind, each school defines “directory information:” themselves. Your school may have a narrow definition, and you may be totally comfortable with it. Others may have a super broad definition that you're not comfortable with.  

Kristina: Why should I care about FERPA?

Deborah: FERPA allows you to protect certain elements of your educational record. It is important to care about FERPA because I want parents to decide when signing those back-to-school papers.  I don’t want parents to think that they HAVE TO sign if they are not comfortable. The second reason that you should care is that educational records follow your child to subsequent schools. Those records go from elementary to middle school to high school to college, and it crosses over when kids transfer schools.  So if your child has a record that shows negative comments in elementary school, it could potentially affect their high school admission.

Let’s say your child has a disciplinary action on record from elementary school, where you actually didn't agree with what happened. Under FERPA, you have the opportunity to correct those records and see what's in those records and be an active participant in that data.  At the very least, you can make your own comments and points of view of the disciplinary action so that your own opinions are on record and follows that data.

Keep in mind that different schools handle this differently regarding what they are sharing with the next institution. But what's important to keep in mind is, under FERPA, you have a right to see those records. You also have a right to correct those records. So if there is a disciplinary action that you want to put additional context around, you can certainly do that.  So, at a minimum, get your perspective included in the record. At a maximum, you may be able to change what the record says.

Kristina: Are there other kinds of things that FERPA covers that a parent would really need to know about?

Deborah: Sometimes, children share interesting artwork that families don’t want to be posted on social media and for everyone to see. 

Also, suppose you have a child that is participating in competitive athletics. In that case, you may not want the height and weight of your child to be distributed to other schools in fear it will hurt their chances of making a collegiate team.  That information can be considered directory information at many schools. Sometimes somebody will be seen as not muscular enough because their weight is low. On the flip side, perhaps they're overweight, for some schools believe gymnastics should be the right weight.

Kristina: How do I make sure that I'm protecting, whatever it is that I've decided I want to protect about my child?

Deborah: Two things. The first is to read the directory information definitions. It will be a separate piece of paper. It's not going to be mixed in with some broader document.

The second is, ask for your child's educational record.  Know what it says and correct anything that doesn’t feel right to you. If you don't want to go through the full educational record, just be aware that if any event happens in your school, you may want to capture your perspective related to that particular event in the school's record.

Kristina: Deborah, if people have questions, how can they get ahold of you?

Deborah: My email is djones@K12clothing.com. The audience can also find me at www.K12clothing.com.

Kristina:  Thank you, Deborah.  And thank you, parents, for being here too.  You got this.  I am just here to help.

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parent on social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina! Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

• Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 
  • No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• • • • Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• • • • • Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaan

106: Tips For The First Visit Home From College

Libby Daggers gives parents tips for making that first (and all the visits after) visit from your college student SUCCESSFUL! Libby gives tips on: What if my child gets homesick, How do I support my child making friends, and What if my child doesn't want to come home?

PLUS- Get The Impactful Parent's FREE PDF called: 50 Skills To Teach Your Child Before They Leave Home. Get it right now at https://theimpactfulparent.com/50things

#parentingcollegekid #firstvisithome #collegeready2021

0:00 Intro

0:40 How should parents shift their expectations?

2:52 When and how often will my child come home?

4:15 Tips for preparing for that first visit!

6:19 Do and Don't of the first visit

9:12 What if my child doesn't want to come home?

11:27 College Ready 2021

IF YOU HAVE A STORY OF INSPIRATION AND LEARNING and want to share your story with The Impactful Parent community, let’s talk!  Go to https://theimpactfulparent.com/work-with-me and sign up for a quick phone call to tell me what your story is all about!  We want to learn from you too!

Don't forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer!  https://theimpactfulparent.com  Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too!  Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don't miss an impactful tip!

Follow The Impactful Parent on social Media! Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, Pinterest, and YouTube.

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parent on social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina! Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!