Parenting Stories, Struggles and Strategies for Moms and Dads of School-aged Children, Teenagers, and Impactful Parents

40: Healthy Halloween

Special guest Jill Bucaro gives tips for how to have a healthier Halloween!  

Make an authentic connection with your child. Try a FREE 30 Day Challenge. You’ll receive a new question to ask your child every day- for 30 days. Get away from the boring questions and start connecting with your child one question at a time! https://theimpactfulparent.com/connection

Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer!  https://theimpactfulparent.com  Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too!  Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don’t miss an impactful tip!

Follow The Impactful Parent on social Media! Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, Pinterest, and YouTube.

125: Coping With Your Child‘s Choices When They REBEL

Coping With Your Child's Choices When They REBEL

Coping With Your Child's Choices: when you have a rebellious, wayward, or prodigal child.  Special Guest Laura Rudder talks about her personal experiences with her 2 children and gives tips for managing the big feelings of parents.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING Coping With Your Child's Choices When They Rebel:

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

www.laurarudder.com for more from Laura.

------------------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter  so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST  and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

------------------

Coping With Your Child's Choices: when you have a rebellious, wayward, or prodigal child TRANSCRIPT:

Kristina: Welcome impactful parents. Today, we will talk about how parents can manage their turbulent feelings when their child makes undesirable choices.

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos, founder of The Impactful Parent. Welcome to my Inspire and Learn series, where real parents come on and tell their story of inspiration learning. Because a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other people's mistakes. Today we're going to learn from my guest speaker, Laura Rudder. Laura has a powerful story about the emotions she endured and overcame as a parent of two prodigal children. She has some good advice and action tips that will help all parents going through the emotional pain of their children's negative and unexpected life choices. Thank you for being with me today.

Laura: Yes, thank you for having me. It's a real pleasure.

Kristina: Define what you mean by prodigal, wayward, or rebellious children. I want us all to be on the same page as we start our journey with you today.

[caption id="attachment_4338" align="alignright" width="300"]Coping With Your Child's Choices: when you have a rebellious, wayward or prodigal child[/caption]

Laura: The word prodigal is a biblical term. It's not actually in the Bible, but an easy definition of prodigal is someone who has walked away from their Christian values. A wayward child is behaving or living differently from how they were raised. A rebellious child is intentionally defying their parents and behaving oppositionally.

Kristina: Tell us about your kids and your story.

Laura:  Well, I could say I'm an expert in this field because I have lived that weariness, shame, embarrassment, heartache, and all the different emotions that come with being a parent of a prodigal, wayward, or rebellious child. I have two of them. They were raised in a Christian home and decided to go out and make their own living. I went through the hardship of feeling like you’ve lost your child and now have gained the inner strength to help others.

Kristina: I like to say that expectations are the death of connection. From the moment we're pregnant, we got this vision in our head about parenting. There is imagery in your head of weddings and babies and family gatherings, and then reality hits in. As your children grow, there are always some faltered expectations. So tell me a little bit about the feelings and emotions you had when your children did not exactly do what you expected them to do.

Laura: I will talk about the main ones. The first is embarrassment.  You try to parent your best, and when you think you must have done something wrong, the embarrassment sets in. You don't want anybody to know what’s happening in your home. You also don't feel like you’re able to talk to anybody.

But you have to remember that everyone has problems. People have skeletons in their closets. It feels like everyone knows, but they don’t.

Another emotion I went through was guilt. I questioned so much. What did I do wrong? Could I have prevented this? It is easy to beat yourself up. But I want the audience to remember God gave us free will. Your child has free will. Nobody is a perfect parent.

Another emotion I had was shame. Oh my goodness. Shame is so painful. It's humiliating. I want parents to remember, not to get stuck in the shame. Be proud of your parenting. Focus on the positives of what your child is doing. Don't put shame on your shoulders.

[caption id="attachment_4339" align="alignleft" width="300"]Coping With Your Child's Choices: when you have a rebellious, wayward or prodigal child[/caption]

The fourth emotion is hope. Never give up. Focus on the positive. Pray about it. God knows what's going on in your life. He sees, he knows. And yes, he does have great plans for you.

Kristina: I don’t doubt that you just mentioned the tip of the iceberg of emotions. There are thousands of feelings happening when you are a parent going through this.  It is all-consuming and heavy-hearted.  It feels like your heart is a rock in the middle of your chest. Why? Because we love our kids so much. We want the best for them.

I like to tell my parents that I work with, “you may have given a life, but it's not your life to live.” If you control your child too much, they will rebel. You have to let them fall, make mistakes, and learn on their own. We are really here to help support our children and hopefully instill some values in them that last a lifetime.

Laura: That is correct. And these emotions can be even more intense when your child is living in your home.  You will have the need to want to fix everything.  

Kristina: It is always difficult to deal with a child going wayward. It is especially difficult when your child turns away from the family's core beliefs or values.  Religion is one of those. I know this happened to you.  Do you recommend to parents reading this right now to hold on tight?  Do you throw your claws in and say, “no, you can't you need to do this,” or do you let them explore and pray that they come back?

Laura: If you're going to put your foot down, you will get greater resistance. Let them explore. Keep praying. Make your own boundaries about what you will allow inside your home, though. Let them explore but pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, and never give up. It may be years before anything changes, but keep praying. My oldest child is still prodigal. It’s been like this since 2006, and that is a long time! I'm still walking this path. I used to crumble up in a heap and just cry all the time. Now I focus on maintaining a relationship with my child.

Kristina: What action steps can parents take to help themselves in these difficult times and all the emotions running through them?

Laura: Step 1 is: Let it go. You're not going to fix them. Let God deal with them and release them up to God and say, they're yours, not mine. I can't handle this anymore.

Another suggestion is to write things down. Journaling is big. Write down all of your pain. Every emotion, write it down. Write down your disappointment. We all have disappointment. Write down all of your fears too. Then, after everything is out on paper, release them. Give all those emotions up to God.

[caption id="attachment_4340" align="alignright" width="300"]Coping With Your Child's Choices: when you have a rebellious, wayward or prodigal child[/caption]

Then start managing the stress. There is so much stress in these situations.  Go to a spa day. Get your nails done. Go for a walk.  Call a girlfriend. Do some activities that make you feel good.

Another thing is, cry. Oh my goodness. It's okay to cry! It truly is. It's okay to be a heap on the floor and ugly cry.  Don't look at the mirror. Just let it out.  And put a time limit on your crying. You don't want to stay stuck. So cry all you need, but put a time limit on it.

Kristina: Yes, let your emotions out, so they don’t fester and get worse. You need time to cry, but there's also a time to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and start making those baby steps to move forward. That's just as important as letting it out.

Laura: Also, consider getting counseling or coaching.  You don’t have to go through this alone.  Get help with managing your emotions and working through the situation.

Kristina:  Now, I’d like to backtrack a little bit and talk again about the 4 big emotions you mentioned earlier.  Please give the audience your advice for dealing with these emotions.

Let’s start with embarrassment. Typically, to rid your mind of embarrassment, you have to change your mindset. You are obviously caring about what other people think if you're embarrassed. How do we stop caring about what other people think?

Laura: We think everybody knows, and not everybody knows our business. Get it out of your brain that everyone is talking about you. Why should you care? Why should you care what people think? Are they living your life? No. Are they walking in your shoes? No. Remember that everyone has their own stuff they are going through. 

Kristina: How do we alleviate the guilt? Typically, this kind of guilt comes from feeling a sense of responsibility for the child’s actions. How can we alleviate the guilt?

Laura: Remember that your child has free will. You didn't do the action. Why should you feel guilty about something that you didn't do? Focus on the positives about your child and the good things they are doing.

Kristina:  And then there's shame. Shame is a lot like embarrassment.

Laura: Yes, shame and embarrassment go hand in hand. Shame on me. Shame on you. Don't ever put that on your shoulders. Be proud of your parenting and the person you are.  I am proud of who I am and how I set an example for my child.

Kristina: How do we maintain hope when our child is making us so discouraged?

Laura: As a Christian, I have a lot of Bible verses that I stand on, and I quote. For me, hope is in prayer.  I stand on His word. That is a huge help to me.

Kristina: If people resonate with you, how can they reach you?

Laura: I have a website at http://laurarudder.com

Kristina: If you want to become a more impactful parent, check out my website! I have parenting courses, family coaching, 30-day challenges, and lots of free resources. And if you have an inspiring story that you want to share, please go to https://theimpactfulparent.com, go to the work-with-me page and sign up. But until next time, you got this, parents. I'm just here to help.

--------------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

126: Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders: Tips for Parents

Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders: Tips for Parents 

Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders: Tips parents need to teach their children to keep them safe.

 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders:

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jY1wj2J4fo&t=106s Another video about child safety.

www.gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFUL30 For more information about GABB Phone and Watches

------------------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter  so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST  and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website  of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

----------------------

Transcript for Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders

Keeping your child safe from offenders.

Today’s question from the audience:  “I have a big fear that my child is going to be a victim of an offender or kidnapper.  It is a reoccurring nightmare that I have, and it bothers me a lot.  What can I do to prevent my nightmare from becoming a reality?”

Great question, and today I will give you some quick tips for keeping your child safe.

First of all, be aware that most offenders and abductors are not strangers.  This is a common misconception.  90% of sexual assault is committed by a person in a position of trust that your child knows.  This even includes family members.  So although it is very important to teach your child some basic information like, don’t take candy from strangers, run away towards the rear of the car if you suspect a car is following you, tell your parents about any adult that makes the child feel uneasy, always tell someone where you are going, and never walk alone in the dark, you have to remember that most of the “bad guys” are actually someone that your child already trusts.

[caption id="attachment_4367" align="alignright" width="300"] Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders[/caption]

But let’s begin with arming your child with tools for strangers first.  Besides the tips already mentioned, ensure that your child understands that some predators will lure your child in with things they know they love.  For example, Do you want to see my puppy? Roleplay with your child how they will react to strangers who try and entice them. Also, ask your child if they know your address and phone number.  Make sure that this information is memorized and that your child can spill out this information effortlessly and on-demand.  Teach your child to step away from vehicles that pull up beside them, even if the driver looks lost or asks for help.  Tell your tween or teenager not to walk and text at the same time.  Walking with their head down makes them a target. Adolescents need to be aware of their environment, who, where, and what is around them.

Now let’s talk about some tips for keeping your child safe around someone they know. Unfortunately, this is more likely to be the scenario you fear.  First of all, teaching your child to blindly obey authority can be detrimental to your child’s safety. Abductors and offenders will prey on easy targets first. That means that if you have a child who is taught to do whatever they are told, despite being uncomfortable, sad, or hurt, you also have a child who is more susceptible to being victimized.  As a parent, you don’t want to say things like “Be good and do what they tell you,” or “don’t question Uncle XXX, be respectful.” Although you may mean well and just want to teach your child respect for elders, this can set your child up for dangerous situations. Instead, teach your child to cooperate with adults but report anything that makes them feel uneasy.  It’s important that your child feels like they can come to you for help and clarification.  Sometimes perpetrators start small to test the waters and see what the child will allow.  Your child needs to be able to come to you to clarify their confusion and weird feelings without the fear that you will freak out or not believe them.  This is important.

[caption id="attachment_4366" align="alignright" width="300"] Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders[/caption]

Another thing you can do is teach your child how to say no.  I know what you’re thinking. My child already knows how to say no.  But saying no to you isn’t the same as saying no to a stranger or saying no to a person they trust, like an uncle, a teacher, or a friend at school.  They need to practice this aloud and use their body to reinforce the message that they mean no. Roleplay how to say no with not only their words but with their whole body.

[caption id="attachment_4365" align="alignleft" width="300"] Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders[/caption]

Of course, it is good to know who lives in your neighborhood and check the sex offender registry.

Teach your child about appropriate and inappropriate touch. 

Always get a good background check with anyone you leave your kids with.

Educate your child about the dangers of talking to strangers online and meeting up with people they don’t know.  This is especially important for teens and kids using dating apps.

I also suggest making sure that your child always has a way to get ahold of you and for you to know their location.  This can be done easily through cell phone GPS features. My own children wear GABB watches/phones.  These devices are great for the tween years when you want to keep the lines of communication open with your child, but you don’t want them online.  Gabb watches and phones don’t have apps, internet, or games.  But they do have GPS and are good working phones.  To learn more about Gabb phones and watches, go to: www.gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFUL30

I know this is only a taste of how to keep your child safe.  Mainly, I wanted to make you aware that kids don’t inherently know any of today's skills.  They must be taught by us, the parents.  They must be practiced so they can be instilled into their automatic brain. They must be repeated often so that safety procedures are second nature.  So talk to your child and make sure they are armed with the tools they need.

For more tips for child safety, watch this video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jY1wj2J4fo&t=106s

But until next time, parents, you got this. I am just here to help.

---------------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

123: How To Encourage Leadership In Children

How To Encourage Leadership In Children with Danielle Cobo gives tips for parents to do at home to foster leadership and grow the next generation of leaders!

 

How To Encourage Leadership In Children Links in Episode 👇

• More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com
• Behavior Management Program at https://theimpactfulparent.com/behaviormanagement
• More from Danielle Cobo at http://daniellecobo.com

--------------------------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter  so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST  and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website  of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

----------------------------

Transcript for How To Encourage Leadership In Children:

Kristina: Today’s episode talks about how parents can foster leadership in their children. Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I'm the founder of The Impactful Parent. Today’s guest, Danielle Cobo, is a leadership coach with over 14 years of experience leading fortune 500 companies. Thank you for being here, Danielle.

Danielle: Thank you. It's an honor to be on today's show. I appreciate it.

Kristina: I'm going to start off with why parents need to know about emotional intelligence because that's really what we're going to be talking about today: emotional intelligence and how that fosters leadership.

[caption id="attachment_4295" align="alignright" width="300"] Fostering Leadership: How to encourage leadership in children[/caption]

Danielle:  Great question.  Studies say that kids with high emotional intelligence (or even adults with high emotional intelligence) tend to succeed more in life than those who don't have a high EQ.  When you're able to be aware of your emotions and manage them, that's when you get to really show up as a leader in life.

Kristina:  Define emotional intelligence, please.

Danielle:  Having a high level of emotional intelligence is understanding your emotions. What your emotions are, as well as what your triggers are. Everyone has triggers. Triggers are something that sparks anxiety or frustration, or impatience. When you can identify what the emotion is and what the triggers are, you can support yourself in managing those emotions.  There are different levels of emotional intelligence.

Kristina: Emotional intelligence is useful for many different parts of life. I have a behavior management program where the essence of the program is teaching parents how to teach their children emotional intelligence. In the program, participants learn how to identify triggers, identify feelings, and control feelings.  E.I. is great for anger and anxiety management. Now you tell us that emotional intelligence is also great for leadership skills, right?

Danielle:  Yes! It's big for leadership because when you understand different triggers, you're able to shift your mind out of chaos. With emotional intelligence, you can learn how to accomplish anything you want in life because what holds us back is a mindset. We can do a lot to shift our mindset, boost confidence, and have the confidence to lead others. In a corporate setting, vulnerability can be very powerful.  When you're able to be vulnerable, others can connect with you on a deeper level.  Connection fosters the culture within organizations. Connection is how a great leader translates his vision into reality. Leaders need to need to earn the ‘know, like, and trust’ from either team.

Kristina: Great! How can parents do that? How do parents support kids in developing this high emotional intelligence that you're talking about?

Danielle:  Great question. The first step is identifying emotions. Learn how to have an open dialogue with your kids. Ask them HOW they feel, WHERE they feel their emotions in their bodies, and HOW it affects them. Often the first response a kid has to questions is surface level. I say, always ask three times, what else? The third response is typically the core of what's causing those emotions.

[caption id="attachment_4294" align="alignleft" width="300"] Fostering Leadership: How to encourage leadership in children[/caption]

Kristina: I know parents can relate to this.  How many times do parents ask kids, “How was your day,” and the response is just, “Fine.” OR, “What did you do today?” and the response is, “nothing.” Parents need to keep probing and asking more questions to get their children to open up. Parents should be asking questions like, “ How did that make you feel, Was there something that you could have done differently? What would you change?” Those are the kinds of questions that parents need to ask to understand their child’s feelings.

Danielle:  Parents should coach kids through conflict resolution also.  If something happens at school, talk about it and possible resolution scenarios.  Anticipate three different scenarios when you're approaching this conversation. This empowers kids and gives them the tools they need to problem-solve.

Another way that we can support our kids is by acknowledging their emotions. In previous generations, parents encouraged kids not to cry, toughen up, and brush it off. This creates a wall with kids where they feel like they can't express their emotions. The consequences of not expressing emotions are mentally harmful. Kids then bottle it up. In the long term, the child has a hard time communicating and connecting with others.  Sometimes the bottled-up feelings come out as anger. Instead, provide your child with a safe space to express their emotions.  Emotions are good.

Kristina: Yes! No emotion is wrong. Validate their feelings. What else can parents do?

Danielle:  Excellent question. Parents need to shift their language. For example, change have-to, to get-to-do.

If we're constantly telling kids, “I have to go to work,” then they learn that jobs are unenjoyable and an obligation. But, if we say that we get to go to work, then the mindset on a job because something of optimism. Shift your language from what I have to do versus what I get to do. The transformation is powerful.

[caption id="attachment_4293" align="alignright" width="300"] Fostering Leadership: How to encourage leadership in children[/caption]

Another way that we can shift our language is by saying words such as support versus help. When you offer help, it almost implies that they can't do the task at hand. However, when you say, “How can I support you,” the child feels good about getting assistance. The word support empowers the child by assuming that they can do the task alone if they choose. The word support also encourages togetherness.  It says, “We can do this together as a team.”

My last suggestion is to lead with the word YES. Kids hear “no” way too often. Try to lead with yes as much as you can. Shift your language and tell them what they CAN do first.

Kristina: How we speak to our children is so influential. Parents become the inner voice of their children. Role modeling is the key. So, in essence, your child’s leadership skills begin with the parents role modeling the behaviors they want to see in their children. Leadership starts with us! Parents need to exhibit the mindset first, and the children will follow. That is how we start to cultivate awesome leaders. It doesn't really matter what age your child is. You can start implementing these quick tips today

Danielle, if people want more from you, where can they find you?

Danielle:  I have a website, www.daniellecobo.com, where I host leadership training for corporations and individuals. I love supporting our future generation of leaders!

Kristina: Until next time, you got this, parents. We are just here to help.

 

---------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

124: Let‘s Get Real LIVE: Episode 1 My Mom

Let's Get Real LIVE: Episode 1 My Mom 

Let's Get Real: Episode 1 My Mom talks about my personal experience of losing my mother and her influence on The Impactful Parent business

--------------

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING Let's Get Real Live: My Mom

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

--------------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter  so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST  and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website  of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

------------------------

Let's Get Real LIVE: Episode 1 MY MOM TRANSCRIPT:

Read this blog.  This one is different than my others.

Hi, I'm Kristina.  I'm the founder of The Impactful Parent. Every week I do live videos for you. I answer your parenting questions that you submitted throughout the week. This week, I didn't have a question. Instead, I decided to get personal, which I rarely ever do. If you've been following me for any time, you know that I give parenting advice. I help parents with school-aged kids, but I rarely talk about myself. It's like my personal brand isn't very personal.  I'm going to try to change that, starting with this live video. And I'll tell you, this is out of my comfort zone. Why? You probably think she does videos every week, and I get on camera all the time. Still, I don't really like talking about my personal life. I also want to respect my kids.  I don't want to pour their dirt out to the public. Plus, I don't like showing their faces on social media for safety reasons. And yet, I'm a parenting coach who doesn't show her four kids. It's weird.

[caption id="attachment_4312" align="alignright" width="300"] Let's Get Real Live- My Mom[/caption]

If you're still following me, I want to tell you I appreciate you. This is hard work being an entrepreneur. I quit my teaching job, which I loved, to do this. I wanted to help people on a larger scale.

Today, I want to talk about my mom. I hope I'm not going to cry. See, I lost my mom to cancer about 11 years ago. My mom never knew my last two children, who are now ages nine and 11. I was pregnant with my third when she passed away. My mom would be really proud that I started my own business and try to help people. She was the nicest lady I've ever met.

My mom was a big influence on how I parent. She was soft and gentle. She showed me that I didn't have to be a mean parent to be a good parent. I am Hispanic. My ancestors are Mexican. I come from a culture where dominance is prevalent, they spank their kids, and kids are often told to suck it up. My mom wasn't like that. I discovered that there was a different way to parent my kids.

[caption id="attachment_4313" align="alignleft" width="300"] Let's Get Real Live- My Mom[/caption]

I feel guilty for being a horrible teen to my mom. Today I understand that teens naturally have a conflict with their same-sex parents. It's instinctual. I feel guilty that my mom bugged me for no reason. I feel horrible about it to this day. And yet I know it's really not my fault. It was my hormones telling me to do that. Still, it's hard to forgive yourself when you can't tell your mom sorry. Despite that, I had a really good relationship with my mom.

I miss my mom a lot. Around Mother's Day, I always want to say something publicly about not having my mom on that special day, but I never do. It doesn't seem appropriate because I want people to enjoy their mothers. I don't want to be a downer on Mother's Day! The holidays are difficult too. Really, I miss her every single day. I have a great support system. I actually have an amazing stepmom. My dad remarried.  She is an amazing lady, and I probably don't utilize her enough. My stepmom is one of my biggest supporters of The Impactful Parent. I appreciate her a lot since I don't have my own mom here. (Ok, I’m crying, and I am about to get blubbery, so I don't want to talk anywhere.)

[caption id="attachment_4314" align="alignright" width="300"] Let's Get Real Live- My Mom[/caption]

I'm going to try to make this personal brand, Kristina Campos, founder of The Impactful Parent, more personal. You're welcome to ask me parenting questions, but also, you can ask me questions about myself. Maybe next week, I'll pick your question to answer live right here. So go ahead and DM me, or you can write me an email at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com.  Your submissions are always anonymous. I just appreciate your support. Let me know what you need because that's why I do this. It makes me feel good. So let's grow, amazing children. Thanks, everybody.

-----------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

122: Redesigning Life Post Covid

Redesigning Life Post-Covid with Bette Fetter gives tips for starting a business and taking risks to change your life for the better. 

 

Redesigning Life Post-Covid. Links in Episode 👇

More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com
Dali Rivera at https://dalitalks.com

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter  so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
Subscribe to the PODCAST  and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
Check out the official website  of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

------------------

Transcript for Redesigning Your Life Post- Covid

Kristina: Welcome impactful parent! Today’s episode is all about redesigning your life, taking risks, and doing new things to make life better post-COVID. I have a special guest, Betty Fetter. She is the founder and CEO of Young Rembrandts, an author, and today she will share her story of starting a home-based business while raising four young kids. Bette is encouraging us to consider redesigning our lives so we are even better than before! Thank you for being here, Betty.

Betty: Thank you. I'm so happy to be here, Kristina.

Kristina: Please tell us your story, Betty. How did Young Rembrandts come about?

Betty: There were times it was so busy and so overwhelming. I have a degree in studio art. I had no plan to ever start a business or write a book. I married my high school sweetheart. We’ve been married for 45 years now. We had kids, and I ended up working at a Montessori school. Then one day, a friend of mine asked me to give her kids art lessons. I said no. She persisted. Before I knew it, I was making $34 a week giving art lessons to kids. (laughing) It was hardly any money, but I enjoyed it.  

All the while, my children were on the top of my mind.  I wanted to spend more time with them. I kept thinking, how do I arrange life around my kids instead of work? It was just this seed in my brain; meanwhile, I turned my afterschool art lessons into Young Rembrandts.

After a few years, my business was big enough that my husband left his corporate sales job to join me. Then for 13 years, we ran Young Rembrandts together as a home-based family business. It was wonderful.  It gave me the best of both worlds, family, and business, just like I wanted.

[caption id="attachment_4275" align="alignright" width="300"] Redesigning Life Post-Covid[/caption]

Kristina: Wow.  I started my business much the same way! I wanted to get out of the teaching profession because I spent too much time teaching and putting my focus outside of my home. I came to a point where I needed to stop taking care of everybody else's kids and focus on my own. That's how The Impactful Parent was born. Like you, I never would have thought that is where life would lead me! I didn’t have a degree in business. I had to go back to school and get my Masters. I needed the life shift. I wanted something better for myself and my kids.

Transition is scary, though. It is terrifying, actually. What's the best advice you could give to somebody thinking about spreading their wings, going outside of their comfort zone, and starting something new?

Betty: I think there's so much wisdom available. I went back and got my business degree in my 50s. My art degree was so much more fun, but you got to do what's necessary, right Kristina. If you need additional training, you go get training. Watch 200 hours of YouTube about how to do something. It's incredible what is available now.

Start with an idea. Nurture it. Let it grow. Be aware of what your family needs. My business kept growing, and I decided to franchise because that was the best move for my business AND my family.  What the heck did I know about franchising? We found a franchise lawyer, went to franchise training and got educated in areas I needed to know about.  Let your idea grow with you. None of this happens overnight.  It takes years. Along the way, get the training you need to keep growing.

Kristina: How did you know when you and your family were ready?

Betty: It was important for me to be extremely present for my children. I'm was very involved. I'm sure many moms who listen to The Impactful Parent are very involved with their kids too. My husband and I had conversations about what we wanted our lives to look like. Every new opportunity that came our way, we questioned, Is this going to enhance our plan or is it going to compromise it?  We analyzed a lot. We were also open to allowing it to evolve. I also had to learn to be OK with saying NO sometimes too.

Kristina: It's okay to say no! So many moms have trouble with that word. They cannot say no. When you're trying to create something new for your family, and you're still saying yes to everything on the outside of your family, that's really going to pose some problems. New projects are all-consuming. Saying no is one of the things I learned to do in my growth process.

[caption id="attachment_4274" align="alignright" width="300"] Redesigning Life Post-Covid[/caption]

Bette: Many women also shortchange themselves. They take on too much because they think they can handle it. You're not meant to carry it all.

Kristina: Can you give us some tips to consider as we're heading into our post COVID life?

Bette: I love all the different topics that you cover on The Impactful parent, Kristina. Parenting is a multi-dimensional project.  Post-COVID gives us a new chance to evaluate differently. Work is different.  Why not take some of that change for yourself?

Kristina: This does feel like the time for a change. If you are listening to this and thinking about making a shift in your life, do it.  I understand it's really scary, but Betty is spot on. This is the time.

Bette: First, I would ask myself, What's your ideal scene? What vision do I have for myself and my family? Maybe you want to work from home now?  Maybe you want a new career? Do you want more time with your family? Do you want to be your own boss? Don’t forget to ask yourself, What do I want for ME?

[caption id="attachment_4272" align="alignleft" width="300"] Redesigning Life Post-Covid[/caption]

Kristina: What do I need? Whoo, that's a tough question for so many parents!  To put this into perspective, though, Bette isn’t telling you to put yourself above your family's needs, but instead to also make your needs a priority.  You are an important family member too.

Bette: Yes!  Then brew on your vision. Keep it close to your heart. You want to feed it. You want to pull the dream out, think about it, and consider how to put your vision in motion. Start reading and studying. If you are faithful, ask for God's blessing on it. Be prepared to keep it secret for a while so that no one will steal your ideas.  When you’re ready to announce your new endeavor, be prepared to have others look at you like you’re crazy. That’s ok.  Don’t expect others to understand it. Find an accountability partner and a team of trusted people to cheer you on.  Once you start embracing your dream, you'll start to notice things shifting.

Kristina: I agree. I couldn’t just dip my toe in the water and test it out.  I had to embrace the vision and really step into making it happen to start seeing change. I feel like you have to dive in.

Bette:  That’s right.  Just dipping your toe in, you are still radiating doubt.  The universe won’t deliver until you’re truly ready. 

Kristina: Tell me more about Young Rembrandts and how people can reach you.

Bette: Young Rembrandts is an after-school program. We teach drawing classes to kids, both online and in person. I wrote a book called Being Visual too. It talks about learning styles, how artistic kids think differently and learn differently in school.  I have a blog at bettyfetter.com. Lastly, if you are thinking about starting your own business but don’t want to start from scratch, Young Rembrandts has franchises. Check those out.

Kristina: Thank you so much for talking with The Impactful Parent community today, Betty. Until next time, parents. You got this. We're just here to help.

----------------------------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

121: All Things Bullying

All Things Bullying with Dali Rivera gives tips to parents for what to do if your child is bullied, if your child is the bully, and bully prevention. 

 

All Things Bullying Links in Episode 👇

• More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com
• Dali Rivera at https://dalitalks.com

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina! Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

---------------------------------

Transcript for All Things Bullying: 

All Things Bullying:

Kristina: Today, we're talking all things BULLYING! Hello. My name is Kristina Campos. I'm the founder of The Impactful Parent. I help parents of school-aged children turn their chaos into connection with their adolescents. I offer free parent education videos every week, I have online courses, and I do some coaching. Still, if that wasn't enough, I bring experts in other fields onto The Impactful Parent stage to teach you even more. Today I have a very special guest, Dali Rivera. Dali teaches kids and parents about bullying awareness. She does whatever she can to prevent kids from being bullied altogether. I'm excited to have her today. Thank you for being here, Dali.

Dali: I'm excited to be here and have this conversation with you.

Kristina: What is the difference between bullying and teasing?

Dali:  That's a great question. Bullying is when unwanted, aggressive behavior is done to you. It can be spoken word or physical action. Also, there's a power imbalance. That means that somebody of authority or feels like they're more popular or maybe have more control over you uses that against you. Bullying is also consistent or has the potential to be ongoing. Bullying is also about the receiver.

Teasing is different. Teasing happens mostly among friends. Teasing is not meant to cause ill feelings or for you to feel distressed.

Kristina: I want to reiterate two things that you said are that big differentiator between teasing and bullying. One is, it's really about the receiving end and how that person is receiving the message, whether it's a tease or bully. The second thing is, who is doing the bullying, a friend or an acquaintance. That can be a gray area, especially for kids that attend small schools.

How do I explain bullying to a young child?

[caption id="attachment_4257" align="alignright" width="300"] All Things Bullying[/caption]

Dali: Start with books.  Many books give examples of stories. If you have a story of your own of bullying, then share that story because kids will remember it.  Describe to kids what it feels like too.  Say something like, “I felt really unsafe. , I felt like I had to hide from that person.”

Kristina: What are the different types of bullying?

Dali: There are four main types of bullying. Physical, social, verbal, and cyber; however, there's more than that. These are just the main types.  It is also emotional, physical, sexual, financial bullying, and the list goes on. 

I'm going to break them down very quickly. Physical bullying is the one most people think of when you say bullying.  It can be pulling hair, damaging clothing, stealing money, damaging personal property, spitting, slapping, hitting, punching, or even blocking you from an entryway.

Social bullying is difficult to point out and see clearly. It can be spreading rumors, excluding someone, or damaging a reputation. Exclusion is the most popular form of this kind of bullying. 

Verbal bullying is usually insults but not always.  Sometimes it's unspoken mannerisms.  For example, passive-aggressiveness, like ignoring someone and pretending they don’t exist or are not there. It can also be belittling talk or put-downs.

Cyberbullying is being mean online or over internet apps.  Things like catfishing, cyber-stalking, and doing anything I previously mentioned online- can still be cyberbullying.  There is a lot of a grey area, which is why law enforcement has difficulty enforcing violations.

Kristina: Could your friend bully you?

Dali: Absolutely. That is one of the reasons why so many kids do not report bullying. Kids are like, “Because that’s my friend.” One of the things that I like to teach is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. I tell kids, a friend is somebody who doesn't make you feel bad. A friend doesn't insult you. Friends cheer you on. When you fall down, friends help you get back up. Friends don't laugh at you because you've fallen. If someone is making you feel bad, they are not a friend. Also, your friend is a person you feel comfortable with. Acquaintances stay in the classroom. Usually, kids get it when I explain it that way.

Kristina: I know from being a parenting coach that kids will befriend the bully because it's easier to join them than to be against them. It is a way of protecting themselves.  Parents don’t understand it.  They think, “Why are you friends with that person?”  So what advice can you give parents who see their children become a part of the bully group because if you can’t beat them, then join them?

[caption id="attachment_4256" align="alignleft" width="300"] All Things Bullying[/caption]

Dali: These kids are going into survival mode. They are doing what they feel is necessary to stay safe. The number one way to combat bullying is to build up your child's confidence. There are lots of small things that you can do at home to build up your child's confidence. Role modeling is what I recommend first. This is important because if your child sees you taking crap from somebody, they're not going to defend themselves either.  Kids will also not have the confidence in the parent’s strength to stand up for the child.  If you can’t stand up for yourself, then they don’t think you’ll stand up for them either

Another thing you can do to build self-confidence in your child is, give them small challenges to succeed.  Build their confidence with small tasks that take them just a little bit out of their comfort zone and give them the confidence to succeed.

Encourage your child to use their voice and speak to safe adults.  Public speaking roles are good too for self-confidence building.  Roleplaying helps kids get ready for things they don’t feel secure about.  The roleplaying gets them ready. 

Kristina: I am a big fan of roleplaying with children and even high schoolers.  Have your child rehearse in their mind; what are you going to do? I tell the teens I work with to do this before they leave the house to a party.  Know what you are going to do before you walk out the door.  Roleplay peer pressures in your head and what you will say and do.   Roleplay prepares your child and gives them the confidence they need to do what they want to do when the social pressures are in front of them.

Dali: There are many ways to boost your child's confidence! Consider sports, art classes, singing classes, or anything that demonstrates that your child can do something they thought they could not do.

Kristina: What if your child is the bully? What does a parent do then? What are some of the signs that your child is the one that is the bully?

Dali: I am always happy when parents ask me this because there is a notion that the parents of the bullies don't care. Some people think that the parents of the bully are in denial. Sometimes it's just that they don't know how to deal with what’s happening.

Let’s first talk about the signs that your child is a bully. If your child is exhibiting bullying behaviors, you might notice how others react weirdly around your child. For example, suppose you volunteer in the classroom, and you notice nobody really wants to hang out with your child or that your child has a nickname. Also, consider what kind of friends your child is hanging out with.  Are these kids constantly at the principal's office? Is your child aggressive?

There is also a misconception that bullies are insecure about themselves, and that’s why they are aggressive towards others.  This isn’t necessarily true. Some bullies are very confident kids. In fact, some kids are so confident they are arrogant. It is important to teach these kids humility.

Kristina: I have seen this before too. The bully is so smart that they just don’t like tolerating others.

Dali: If your child is physically hurting others, it is important to teach your child empathy. It is important to show children that their actions impact others.

[caption id="attachment_4255" align="alignright" width="300"] All Things Bullying[/caption]

Lastly, tell your child that you love them regardless of what they have done. They need to know that your love is not conditional. Kids need to know that their parents love them even through their mistakes.  Also, tell your child that their mistakes do not define who they are. Always include your child in the solution of the problem. When you include them in the solution, you show them that you value their opinion. They can then take accountability to fix what was wronged. I also try to avoid the word punishment. Instead, your child needs corrective action.  

Kristina: When your child is the victim, should you confront the parents of the bully?

Dali: It depends on the situation. Some parents can't control themselves. Most parents want to protect their children and will fight themselves if they get too emotional.  This is why schools have individualized meetings. Having said this, I have had very amicable meetings with the parents.  You will have to be the judge and use your best judgment.

Kristina: What if my child is the victim? What are my first steps for helping my child?

Dali: Document what is happening. Things turn into he said, she said argument very quickly.  You want to keep track of what is happening, when, where, and with whom.  Don’t leave the incident to the word of mouth and one kid's word against the other. Think of it as a legal case. A judge will not hear hearsay. They want evidence. Keep a journal.  

I also recommend that you suggest an action for correcting what has happened. Give a solution. Don’t just present the problem.

Kristina: You are a great resource, Dali.  Where can people find you if they need your help?

Dali: You can find me at dalitalks.com.  I do one-on-one coaching, and I have a lot of recorded courses that parents can enjoy in their own leisure. You can book a free 30-minute call to see if working together is a good fit.

Kristina:  Thank you, Dali.  Parents, you got this.  We are just here to help.

-------------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

120: 5 Tips For Homework With Fewer Battles

5 Tips for Homework With Fewer Battles. Zoie Hoffman, the founder of the Hoffman Tutoring Group, gives 5 tips for a more productive homework hour, less meltdowns, and fewer battles.

5 Tips for Homework with Fewer Battles  Links in Episode 👇

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING 5 Tips for Homework With Fewer Battles:

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://theimpactfulparent.com/tutoring for Zoie's FREE E-book on homework help

www.hoffmantutoringgroup.com for more from Zoie

---------------------------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCASTand/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina! Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

----------------------------

Transcript for 5 Tips for Homework With Fewer Battles:

Kristina: Welcome impactful parent. Today, we will be talking about five tips for getting your child to do their homework with fewer battles. Today I have a special guest, Zoie Hoffman. Zoie is the founder of Hoffman Tutoring Group. This online tutoring company serves children kindergarten through eighth grade for their extra tutoring needs. I'm excited to have her on today and hear about these five tips. Thank you for being here, Zoie.

Zoie: Thanks for having me. I'm excited.

Kristina: Homework is a battle for many parents. Let’s get started with your tips because I am excited to hear them.

Zoie: Yeah. Tip 1 for homework with fewer battles is: You need to find the best time within your after-school routine for homework. I know that this is different for everybody depending on after-school activities, how busy you are, what time school lets out, and what time you get home from work, but making sure your child knows when homework will get done each day will help reduce that battle.

So if you're at home, that might mean that you are doing homework simultaneously during your after-school routine every day. If you're on the go, that might mean on different days, your child does homework at different times depending on what they have going on in their schedule. They might not even be at home during homework time. But knowing that is the time on which they need to do the homework will help reduce those battles and make sure they actually get their homework done.

Kristina: I'm all about routine. Routine is important for children. It creates stability. It helps them understand the expectations. It creates security. In the end, kids perform better when they have a routine.

[caption id="attachment_4188" align="alignright" width="300"] 5 Tips for Homework With Fewer Battles[/caption]

Another thing that you said that I want to highlight is, it's okay not to do homework at home. Sometimes we have to be flexible and do homework on the go. Parents need to be prepared for that and communicate expectations to the kids.  Homework on the go can still be a part of the routine. Kids are so flexible. They can accommodate those kinds of schedules and still turn in good work.

Zoie: Tip 2 for homework with fewer battles is: Make sure all their physical needs are met. When your kid comes through the door, make sure that they are fed, have water, go to the bathroom, and maybe even meet some of their emotional needs before they start homework. Some kids may need 30 minutes to an hour to decompress after a long day at school before they start their homework. Other kids need to ride the momentum from the school day into their homework time. Either way, make sure they have what they need to succeed.

Kristina: Parents should also remember that these needs can differ for every child and even within family members. What other tips do you have for us today?

Zoie: Tip 3 for homework with fewer battles is: Make sure that you have all the materials needed to do homework for your child. You don't want your child getting up and asking you for a pencil and scissors and glue and have to hunt down all these materials. This is not only distracting for them, but it's annoying for you. I often suggest getting a shower caddy from Target or a diaper caddy. Put paper and scissors and all the things your child needs for homework into that caddy. It makes supplies easy to carry, and you can shove them in the closet when you're not using them. You can also get a smaller version in your car if you are doing homework on the go.

[caption id="attachment_4189" align="alignleft" width="300"] 5 Tips for Homework With Fewer Battles[/caption]

Kristina: The shower caddy is a great tip.

Zoie: Tip 4 for homework with fewer battles is: Take brain breaks to help your child refocus. Kids can focus for about plus or minus one minute of their age. It is crazy! That's not very long! By taking brain breaks, your child will focus better and actually get homework done faster! Use a visual timer for the length of time your child can focus. When the timer goes off, let them take a break. On their brain break, encourage your child to go outside or move their body. Let them color or do something that they enjoy just for a few minutes. Then, kids can sit back down and refocus on their homework for another set of minutes. This may seem like it's gonna make things take a lot longer. Still, you might be surprised at how quickly your child can get things done when they're getting those bursts of focus instead of trying to drag their focus out for a long time.

Kristina: I am a huge fan of visual timers. The visual timer is more effective and helpful for students versus a timer on your phone that beeps. There is something special about visually seeing the time go by that helps younger children or kids with ADHD. It's a great tool.

Zoie: And my final tip, tip number 5 for homework with fewer battles, is: Know when to quit. I know that this is easier said than done, but sometimes homework fractures your relationship with your child. They're freaking out. They're super stressed. Maybe your child has an anxiety attack. Sometimes, homework can cut into their sleeping time. These are all signs that it is PAST the time to stop. Email the teacher that the homework did not get done. Tell them the reason why within limits. Don't tell them the gory details of what happened, but tell them you know your child is having trouble and ask for the next steps. Then help your child calm down. Tackle the homework later when everybody's a little bit more fresh. Doing this will reduce your child's anxiety around homework. Your child will know that you're not going to let it get to that point. It’s important to protect your child’s mental health.

Kristina: I have been there!  Preventing the homework meltdown is sometimes challenging.  Parents should watch their kids and visually see when they're starting to come to a breaking point. Then, approach your child and start the conversation. Say, it seems like you're having difficulty today. I can tell you're not concentrating like you normally can. What can I do to help?  Be an advocate for your child when they can’t be it for themselves because they are caught up in the “must-do” mentality. Sometimes kids need parents to intervene and help them regulate or see the bigger picture.  It isn’t easy, though.

[caption id="attachment_4190" align="aligncenter" width="300"] 5 Tips for Homework With Fewer Battles[/caption]

Tell me more about your company, The Hoffman Tutoring Group.

Zoie: we provide online tutoring for students in K-8 grade with reading, writing, and math. We bring in tutors that are educators. They have degrees and certifications. Our tutors have experience in the classroom and experience working with kids one on one. When you come into our tutoring group, you get on the phone with me, and I help match you with the tutor that will best meet your child and your family's needs. It's a personalized experience. If you want to find out more about our tutoring services, you can find us at www.hoffmantutoringgroup.com

Kristina: All your tutoring is online?

Zoie: Correct. We've been providing online tutoring for several years. We tutor over zoom.

Kristina: I heard that you have a freebie for my audience.

Zoie: Yes! I wrote a very comprehensive ebook about homework. It has all of the tips of today a lot more. If you’re looking to avoid Homework battles and help your child learn better and smarter, be sure to check it out.

Kristina: To get your freebie, go to theimpactfulparent.com/tutoring

Until next time parents, you got this. We're just here to help.

----------------------------------

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Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

119: How To Get Accepted Into College

How To Get Accepted Into College. Beth and Greg Langston give tips for how to stand out and get accepted! 

How To Get Accepted Into College. Links in Episode 👇​

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://theimpactfulparent.com/flightplan for your FREEBIE courtesy of Beth and Greg

www.collegeflightplan.com for more from Beth and Greg

----------------------------------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletterso you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCASTand/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official websiteof The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

------------------------------------

Transcript for How To Get Accepted Into College:

Kristina: Welcome impactful parents. Today, we will talk about the three most important qualities college admissions officers look for in students. Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I'm the founder of The Impactful Parent. I help parents of school-aged children turn their chaos into connection with their adolescents. I offer free parent education videos every week. I offer online courses and coaching. And if that wasn't enough, I bring experts in other fields onto The Impactful Parent stage to teach us even more. Today I have special guests, Beth and Greg Langston. Beth and Greg had been helping kids with college admissions and activating teenager's potential for over 20 years plus. They also own a little business called the College Flight Plan. I'm very excited to have them on today. Thank you for being here, Beth and Greg.

I am excited to get started. This is a perfect time because so many high school students are trying to make those college applications. So when do students really need to get started on preparing for that college application process?

Beth: Sooner than they think. Start working on the personal statement at the end of junior year! The personal statement rarely changes. It is  650 words. The average student applies to 8 to 10 universities. Each university will have other essays to write.  It is best to start as early as you can to avoid overwhelm.  

Then it’s important to work on the “Why This University” essay.  Most colleges have an essay where they want to know why you are picking their school for application.  You can't just have a generic answer for this essay.  Universities want to know you have done your research about that school.  Know which courses you want to take, your area of study. And be very specific about what the school has to offer and what you have to offer the school. Starting early is better!

Kristina: What are the three most important qualities that college admission officers are looking for in those applications? Is one of them the application essays?  Are they really that important?

Beth: There are three things that the college admissions officers are looking for.  The first is academic success.  A good GPA and a rigorous curriculum are what they're looking for. Also, seeking outside courses is very important. Universities love to see that kind of stuff that teaches you about what you're interested in.  It doesn't have to be school courses. Colleges also look at standardized tests.

The second thing college admissions officers are looking for is the student’s extracurricular activities. They want you to be involved in projects and have long-term commitments. They don't want you to check the boxes on 15 different things. They want you to go and do something in-depth. They appreciate an entrepreneurial commitment, like seeking internships.

The third thing colleges love to see is a student’s profound self-knowledge and self-discovery. They want to see that the student has a clear direction of where they're headed. Their students must be empowered to understand who they are and expressing that with competence and clarity. They search for students who know their values, purpose, strengths, and weaknesses. They want students who have a plan, set goals, and pursue a profession in which they will thrive.

So those are the three things they're looking for, and the ESSAY convenes those messages to the admissions team. That's why the essays are so important.

Many students have great GPAs, great standardized test scores, and lots of great extracurricular activities that they can write about. Still, they can't take all those kids! There's just not room for all the great kids that are out there. It is the essay where you can stand out.

Greg: Also, I recommend calling the university to get an interview.  You want to do the little things that go the extra mile. This shows interest in the university and will make you stand out.  Ask the admissions offers good questions so they will remember you.  The admissions people will put those notes in your application.

Kristina: I feel like many families underplay the importance of talking to that college admissions person. This is a great tip!

Greg:  That's right. You have to promote yourself.

Kristina: Would you suggest being a little controversial to catch the attention of the admissions people and stand out?

Beth: It is ok to be a little controversial, but I would avoid politics, even some religion, and be careful not to shed a bad light on yourself. You want to look good, not rebellious.

Also, don’t write about COVID unless your experience with COVID was different than most. You want to be unique.

Kristina: What's their most important piece of advice that you could give a high school student who's trying to decide their major?

Greg: Self-discovery.  That’s where we can help.  We have a self-discovery process. It is a 12-hour program that takes the student from beginning to end. The program helps teens identify their interests, strengths, and weaknesses. We take the teen through a self-make purpose statement. We help the teenager discover what they want to do with the rest of their life. Students make goals and an elevator speech that tells whoever's listening what makes the child special, their strengths, their values, what makes them unique, and why they should be accepted to their university of choice.

Kristina: Do you have any suggestions for parents? What should they be doing right now to support their teen?

Greg:  Don't assume that school will walk your child through everything they need to do for their college applications. The counselors have too many students and not enough time. Know the deadlines. Help keep your child on track with goals and encouragement.  Be in the process with your child. Don’t just sit back and watch them do it alone.

Kristina: Thank you for being here today.  If anyone in the audience would like to take your Discovery Course or get help with their college essays, where can they find you?

Beth: www.collegeflightplan.com

Kristina: If you would like to become a more impactful parent, please check out all that my website offers. I have parenting courses, family coaching, 30-day challenges, and lots of free resources. But Until next time, you got this, parents. We're just here to help.

-------------------------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

 

117: Behavior Management For Strong-Willed Kids

Behavior Management for Strong-Willed Kids

Behavior Management For Strong-Willed Kids with Dr. Sarah Allen.  Dr. Allen talks about teaching coping skills to kids to build resiliency and improve behaviors.

 

Behavior Management For Strong-Willed Kids. Links in Episode 👇

• More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com
• The Impactful Parent's Free webinar https://theimpactfulparent.com/webinar
• Dr. Allen's website with links to her program and book http://brainbehaviorbridge.com

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletterso you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCASTand/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official websiteof The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

 -----------------------------

Transcript for BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT FOR STRONG-WILLED KIDS:

Kristina: Welcome parents to The Impactful Parent’s inspire and learn series where real parents come on and tell their stories of inspiration. Today we're going to be learning from our guest speaker, Dr. Sara Allen. Dr. Allen will talk to us about the importance of teaching kids coping and adaptive skills to grow into successful adults. Dr. Ellen has her own personal story of adversity. She is also an international book and best-selling author to a book called Raising brains. Dr. Ellen is a mom, of course. She has spent over 15 years studying neuroscience and brain development, so I'm really excited to hear what she says on the subject. Thank you so much for being here, Dr. Allen.

Dr. Allen: Thanks so much for having me.

Kristina: I want to start with your story. How did all this come about that you are so passionate about teaching coping and adaptive skills?

Dr. Allen:  When I started my parenting journey, I lost three kids. They all lived about an hour. I was pregnant with my first son and lost him at 23 weeks. It was all very difficult, but I'm a positive person. I picked myself up and kept going. I never thought it would happen again.  Then I was pregnant with twins. I lost them three days apart. Again they lived about an hour. When it happened again, it took my breath away.  It really kicked my butt emotionally.  

Then my luck changed. I had my daughter, Juliana. Soon after that, I birthed my son Carter.  Things were going well for a while, but my son got increasingly more difficult as he got older.  He's a wonderfully sweet little boy. He's passionate. Some may call him strong-willed. I call him “spirited.” He had a lot of trouble controlling emotions.  Some parents may call kids like this obnoxious or oppositional. Some adults think that these kids are disrespectful.  

We worked really hard to help him. “We,” being my son and me, worked together.  I worked really hard to help him learn how to control his body and control his thoughts and control his mind. I didn't realize how much that would set him up to be successful. He is nine today, and he has an emotional intelligence of a much older child.  

I remember a time I was standing in the kitchen with my mother crying. Things were hard, and I wanted to help him, but it was so difficult. My mom said, “ You should take him to see someone.” That's when I started sobbing. I was the person that parents took their kid to see!

Fast forward, and I a grateful that I started those coping skills behaviors early with my kids because things got rough again. My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer at 28. She died at 29.  My mother battled cancer twice. Then my kids went through a divorce with my husband and me.  The result had us moving to a new town.  As if that wasn’t difficult enough for them, the whole world shut down right after we moved.  They never had an opportunity to settle into their new school or environment.

In those times of difficulty, I leaned back on the 15 plus years of brain science that I had studied. I'm a neuropsychologist.  I do brain-behavior relationships with kids. I started helping other families too.  My book, Raising Brains, came about because I started writing down how I was helping my own kids and others.  Then that content also turned into a program I offer.

Kristina: One of the things that you said that really stuck out to me was, “WE worked really hard.”  We being the keyword. I also have a behavior management program that I offer, and it is structured as a parent and child program. I believe that the parents are instrumental in helping the child change behaviors and learning coping skills.  It is a “WE” effort. The whole house is affected by the behaviors, and it takes collaboration to fix.  Kids need parental support.

Dr. Allen: We want parents and kids working together. Our job as parents is to teach our kids how to do these things for themselves. Teach kids how to be introspective. We need to teach kids how to gain self-awareness until they're capable of doing it for themselves.

Kristina: Yes. In my program, parents learn skills that help support their children. Everyone is learning and growing TOGETHER.

Dr. Allen: Parents forget that we are also teachers.  We want to teach kids the skills they need to build independence.

Kristina: Exactly.  Many parents make the mistake of focusing on the here and now.  They focus on trying to stop the behaviors they are seeing.  In reality, that is just a bandaid on a big wound.  Instead, parents need to focus on fixing the WHY of the situation and teach kids the skills they need to cope or stop the behaviors for themselves time and time again.  Not just the one-time fix. We want long-term solutions instead.

I also wanted to mention that you mentioned that YOU were the person people were supposed to be going to for help. Still, your own son couldn’t control his emotions. Thank you for admitting this. I, too, have kids that couldn’t control their anxiety and anger.  It is because we have been in our client's shoes that make us good resources for parents. We know what it was like.  It is also the reason why we made our programs to help others. I want the audience to know that everybody's home has a challenge.  That’s ok! The main thing is, how are you going to react to this challenge?

Now, let’s get to those tips for helping our kids that I know you want to give the audience!  If I have a strong-willed child, what can I do?

Dr. Allen:  Well, I have a couple things. My first suggestion is to understand your child’s brain.  There’s a part of our brain called the amygdala. I call her Amy G because she has the emotional energy. In the front of our brain, we have Franny, who is the voice of reason. When Amy G is freaking out, yelling and screaming,  Franny is trying to calm her down. The problem is, when that is happening, Franny can't think logically either. So what do we do?

The first tip is to just get some tools in your belt. Understand the way a kid's brain works. When your kid is kicking, screaming, and throwing their emotions, they're actually speaking with their behavior. That tells the parent that something is so upsetting that they can’t control their emotions.

Tip number two, start asking questions instead of making statements. Ask yourself, What is it this little brain needs, and what can I teach this little brain? It's part of becoming a brain detective. When you shift your thinking, you're going to start seeing your kids in a very, very, very different way. In my parent program, we focus on understanding the brain first. I want parents to know what that little brain needs and then have tools to get working.

And then the last tip that I would give is just to make sure your brain basics are set. Pay attention to things like sleeping and eating. Everything that you put in your body turns into the chemicals your brain uses to think. Make sure your kids are eating low-fat milk and cheeses. We want to get some good proteins in there, like fish.

Sleep. We know that kids who don't sleep can look like they're ADHD. Also, during sleep, our brain goes through a cleansing process. The fluid that surrounds our brain cleans it out. It's like when you clean your desk off for the day, and you feel like you can actually think. That's what sleep does for the brain. We know that people who don't sleep can actually have some cognitive issues as well. Suppose your kids are snoring or getting up in the middle of the night. In that case, you definitely want to talk to your physician because that could cause some cognitive issues. And don’t forget movement is important.  Make sure you're kids are getting up and moving around.

Lastly, establish routines and consistency.  I mentioned Frannie. She is regulating our emotions. She is trying to help figure out what we're going to learn and remember and pay attention to. She's pulling information. She's like the CEO of the entire brain, so she's got a lot going on. So anytime we can pull things off her plate and put them somewhere else, that's a good thing.  A routine does that.  

Kristina: What if I have a teenager? Parents don't have as much control over the eating and sleeping habits of teens. Do you have any recommendations for parents of teens in a similar situation?

Dr. Allen: I like to give teens information so they can understand the decisions we make for them and make better decisions themselves. You never want to get into this battle of wills. We want teens to build their independence so that they can be on their own. But the reality is, the teenage brain isn’t fully developed either.  They may seem like competent people but inside, their brain still isn’t functioning fully.

Kristina: Yes! I want to make a comment on that. I think the mistake that many people make is, they look at a teenager and forget their brain isn’t fully developed, and they are still just kids.  Yes, they look like a young adult, and many act like young adults, but they all still go through times of difficulty because their brains are not fully developed.

Dr. Allen: Yeah, definitely. Teenagers have a lot of strengths. It sounds silly, but they can communicate their feelings, socialize, work. However, the front of their brain still prevents them from seeing long-term consequences and holding back behaviors. That’s why teens have a ton of risky behaviors. They don't see the long-term effect.  PARENTS need to play the role of their frontal lobe.  Parents need to be the voice of reason and establish boundaries for their teens to keep them safe.

Kristina:  If people resonate with what you're saying and want to find out more about Raising Brains or your program, how would they find out more?

Dr. Allen: The best thing to do is email me at drallen@brainbehaviorbridge.com. You can always go to my website as well, which is www.brainbehaviorbridge.com.  There are links to both my books on there and my program.  

Kristina: Thank you, Dr. Allen. And don't forget, audience, that The Impactful Parent also has a behavior management program that I would love for you to check out! This program is a DIY program. It is online. And the best part about it, you can find out more for FREE with my webinar. This webinar will give you the eight steps that you need to start seeing results in your child!  Go watch the webinar at https://theimpactfulparent.com/webinar. At the end of the webinar, I will give you a free PDF called 20 ways to cope just for taking your time to watch. This free PDF is a start to helping your child. Even the free webinar is very powerful so go check it out right now! But until next time, you got this. We're just here to help.

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