Parenting Tips for Moms and Dads of School-aged Children & Teenagers: The Impactful Parenting Podcast

Strategies For A Better Relationship With Your Partner

Cheri Timko, a relationship coach, comes onto the Impactful Parent stage to teach parents 3 relationship habits that every couple needs to implement to have a good, long-lasting partnership.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

www.cheritimko.com for more from Cheri

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Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

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Summary of the interview: Strategies For A Better Relationship With Your Partner

Three Things You Need for A Good Relationship

Relationships are difficult. The push, the pull, and the compromise. Most relationships have turbulent times, and the ones that last ride the rollercoaster of emotions that teach us the meaning of “death due us part,” especially when there are many days we want to kill our partner.

Today, Cheri Timko, a relationship coach, comes onto the Impactful Parent stage to teach parents 3 relationship habits that every couple needs to implement to have a good, long-lasting partnership.

Cheri Timko Bio: Cheri Timko helps women deepen their connection with their current partners to have the relationship they long for. She has been happily married for 20 years. She is a veteran psychotherapist and homeschool mom of three teenage daughters.

Interview summary: Cheri Timko speaks about the 3 relationship habits that strengthen partnerships.

1. Having good relationship habits
2. The ability to work through problems
3. Ways to clean up messes

Having Good Relationship Habits: According to Cheri, relationship habits are the tiny interactions and things you can do for your partner every day. Things like:

• Say good morning and make them a cup of coffee
• Words of affirmation
• Small acts of kindness

A Way To Work Through Problems: Finding ways to come to an agreement. Learning how to solve conflict and make compromises. Cheri recommends couples develop at least 10 solutions to the problem to brainstorm and facilitate compromise.

Ways To Make Repairs: This is a system to “make it up” to our partner when we were wrong. The most common form of repair is an apology. Cheri warns that an apology can be a good way to repair a situation, but only when the apology is authentic and constructed correctly. Cheri then discusses some of the essential qualities of a good apology. Cheri also talks about how to make repairs when a person doesn’t want to apologize or feels like they should apologize.

Finally, Cheri talks about having a great relationship with your partner!

To get the FREE RESOURCES that are included in this episode, go to the links below:

1. Freebie #1: Strengthen Your Relationship PDF: A walkthrough on how to use these relationship habits in practice, found inside the Impactful Parent App https://theimpactfulparent.com/app
2. 101 Ways To Add Joy To Your Life found at cheritimko.com

 

The Truth About Self Harm

Kristina Campos, the founder of The Impactful Parent, talks to parents about the warning signs of self-harm, what parents should look for, myth busters about cutters, what parents can do to support their child, and warning signs that the situation is getting worse.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

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Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

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Transcript of: The Truth About Self Harm

"Why are you doing this? Hurting yourself if not the solution."

That was my first reaction when I was a young teacher teaching high school, and I found blade marks on the legs of one of my students when their shorts rode up a little too high on that unusually hot day. My student was quick to pull their shorts down to cover the marks I had seen. Her face turned red with embarrassment, and then she angrily spoke back, "It's not your business," while she stood up and walked out of the classroom.

I didn't handle that well. I was inexperienced and reacted to what I saw instead of taking the time to think about how best to approach and help my student. I've learned a lot since then. I've also seen undeniable patterns of self-harm over the years. First, self-harm habits are increasing in our young people. Second, I don't know why but teenagers' most difficult months of stress, anxiety, and despair seem to be October and April.

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I am the founder of the Impactful Parent. Every week I give you new parenting videos that can help you in your parenting journey. If you have a particular topic or parenting question about your school-aged child that you would like me to address, please submit it at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com or by messaging me on social media. All submissions are kept anonymous. 

Today I am going to talk to you about self-harm and cutting. Why do kids do it? What to look for in your child? How can parents help their children? And stick around to the end because I will also be giving you the warning signs that the situation is getting worse. We got a lot to cover, so let's get started!

Self-harm is when a person hurts themselves to deal with difficult feelings, painful memories, overwhelm, and/or trauma. The most common forms of self-harm are cutting, burning, carving words or symbols into the skin, self-hitting, self-punching, head banging, scratching, piercing the skin with sharp objects, headbanging, and inserting objects under the skin. The most popular form of self-harm for girls is cutting. This might look like a child taking a razor blade or other sharp object and passing the blade across the skin, hard enough to penetrate a cut, creating lines, words, symbols, or even too many reports of accidental injury. For boys, their most popular form of self-harm is punching or hitting themselves. In fact, the average age of a child's first indecent self-harm is around 13 years old. I want parents to know that self-harm can also start earlier than that. Age 13 is only an average. This isn't just a problem with teenagers. Parents need to be aware of their child's body without being too invasive on the child. Most self-harm will leave a mark, and most marks are left on the arms, legs, and the front torso. So if you find your child wearing long sleeves on a particularly warm day, long pants at the beach, or a sudden refusal to go to the pool (aka-get into a swimsuit), pause and notice. Those behaviors are warning signs of self-harm. Parents want to look for fresh cuts, scratches, bruises, bite marks, picking at the skin, rug burns (which come from the excessive rubbing of an area to create a burn), and even watch out for your child reporting injury too often, perhaps claiming they are clumsy.

Now I'd like to debunk a few common misconceptions about self-harm that many parents don't understand.

Myth 1: If the child is self-harming, they want to kill themselves.

Self-harm does NOT have to be an attempt to kill oneself. In fact, most of the time, it is not. Self-harm is a coping mechanism. It is a way to deal with big emotions. Most suicide attempts are well thought out and planned; however, most self-harm is impulsive.

What does this mean for parents? Your child is suffering emotionally. They are not in a good place mentally and need help. Whatever they are dealing with has them hurting so badly that they look to hurting themselves externally to feel better.

              Myth 2: The child is self-harming to seek attention.

Your child might be giving a cry for help when they show their wounds to someone, but most self-harm is hidden. Children hide the evidence of harming themselves because they feel embarrassed and scared to get in trouble. A lot of kids are ashamed of the marks left behind from self-harm.  

What does this mean for parents? Your child needs help learning coping skills, not a lecture about how awful it is they are hurting themselves. They already know it's bad. Your child doesn't have good coping tools to help with psychological pain. They can't manage their emotions productively. Your child is having trouble regulating, expressing, and understanding all the big feelings. They likely feel worthless, lonely, mad, rejected, and even guilty. They need help. Taking them to a therapist, they feel comfortable talking to will be an important next step. The therapist might ask a psychiatrist to prescribe anti-depressive medication also, depending on your situation.

Myth 3: This is a phase.

No, this is not a phase. Self-harm needs to be taken seriously, so it doesn't spiral into bigger problems. "A phase" implies that kids just go through this in development, which is normal. Self-harm is not normal. Kids with an increased risk of self-harm might have friends who are doing it. They might be using drug/alcohol, have gone through mental trauma, or have other underlying mental health issues.

What does this mean to parents? Keep vigilant and look out for self-harm. Why people self-harm is unique to every person. It is literally different for everyone. The child is often trying to punish themselves, turn emotional pain into physical pain, and/or stop feeling numb. These children need your help. Watch your child closely, don't judge them for their actions; instead, show your child your concern and love. Get your child to a therapist as soon as possible to start learning more productive coping strategies. Lastly, there are support groups out there for both parents and children. Finding a safe space to vent around people who understand you can be one of the most powerful tools for overcoming this difficult time.

Lastly, what are the warning signs of the situation getting worse? Let's just say it. How do I know the difference between my child self-harming to cope or self-harming to commit suicide?

I know you're scared. Be mindful of your child's space and privacy, but watch them closely. Here are the things you want to look for that things might be getting worse.

• Neglecting their appearance
• Giving away items
• Extreme mood swings
• Talking about wanting to die or kill themselves
• Writing about death
• Withdrawing from everyone. Isolating themselves
• Talking about feeling trapped
• Behaving recklessly
• Show extreme anger and talk about seeking revenge
• Sleeping too little. Sleeping too much.
• Increased use of alcohol and/or drugs
• Talking about being a burden on others
• Looking online for ways to die
• Sudden calmness and making preparations

If these warning signs resonate with your family, please take your child to the local hospital emergency room for evaluation and start the process of seeking help.

If you have a topic or a parenting question about your school-aged child, please ask! Submit your questions by social media DM or email me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com. Plus, if you want to become a more Impactful Parent, check out all my website offers! I have parenting courses, family coaching, a free downloadable app, and many free resources. But until next time, you got this, parents. I am just here to help.

 

Turn Phone Photos Into A Legacy

Ken Wimberly tells a personal story of how he overcame his past to focus on being a good father. He talks about how he values documenting his parenting journey and more importantly, the life of his children. With his invention of the Legacy App, Ken developed a way for parents to take their phone photos, journaling, and other memories and store them in one safe place to keep a timeline of documentation for his children. Free resources included in this video can be found inside the Impactful Parent App. Links to the app are found in the comments below.

 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://legacyjournal.app/theimpactfulparent For your Legacy App Discount

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Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

 

Help! We have a narcissist in the family!

A Clubhouse Replay:  Clubhouse is an app available on Android and Apple that is an AUDIO only community.  Think podcasting meets Radio... and on it there is lots of opportunities to learn and connect with others.

In this episode, Kristina talks with narcissist survivors.  She asks them questions about co-parenting and surviving their narcissistic ways. This is a must-listen episode!

Guest Speakers: 

• Sally Pauley Hershey
  • Instagram @salley_pauley_hershey
  • Clubhouse @shershey7
• Nikki G
  • Instagram @nikki_g_speaks
  • Clubhouse @nikkispeaks
  • Website www.nikkigspeaks.com
• Vanessa Moretto
• Kristina Campos
  • Instagram @theimpactfulparent
  • Clubhouse @impactfulparent
  • Website www.theimpactfulparent.com

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Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

Helping Kids With Anger Management

Kristina Campos, the founder of The Impactful Parent, talks to parents about helping their children control their big emotions and specifically, how to get kids to control their temper. 2 FREEBIE RESOURCES are included in this video to help parents implement suggested techniques.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

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Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

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Transcript: Helping Kids With Anger Management

"What the heck just happened?" I say to myself because I am shocked that my child just took one of my simple requests to start their homework, the same as I do every day when they get home, and my child just blew up at me.

"Why won't you just leave me alone already?!?!" my child yelled at me, along with some other choice words. My kid threw down their backpack and stormed up the stairs stomping without even looking at me. By that reaction, you would have thought that I asked them to clean the bathroom or had just given them a 20-minute lecture. What was going on?

Has this happened to you? Does your child overreact with anger, and you don't know what you did to set them off? Or maybe they get angry daily, and you don't know where the anger is coming from? Or maybe screaming matches have become a regular occurrence in your home?

Well, you're not alone. Many parents ask their kids' seemingly minor requests to be met with a major emotional response or meltdown.

Welcome Impactful Parents. Today, we will talk about children's ANGER and how parents can help their children gain control over their big emotions.

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I am the founder of the Impactful Parent. I am the host of the Impactful Parenting podcast and have a free parenting app you can download on Apple or Android devices, also called Impactful Parent.

First, parents need to understand that matching their child's rage and big emotions does little for improving the situation. In fact, it just damages the parent-child relationship. Although it's natural for parents to want to yell back and command compliance when our kids are being disrespectful in their anger, it's not what we should do. Instead, I will encourage you to take a new 5 step process to deescalate the situation and bring understanding into your household.

Step 1: Remain Calm. Take a few deep breaths, count backward from 5 to 1, or do whatever you need to do to NOT yell back. Kids feed off us. They react to our reactions. Yelling back just provokes more yelling. A calm, soothing presence is the most effective way for a parent to help their child regain their composure. This will enable your child to begin dealing with the problem logically, and constructively.

Step 2: Understand That Your Child Needs Your Help. A handful of times, our kids' anger and outburst have nothing to do with us. Still, kids need a place to take out all the sadness, frustration, nervousness, and doubt. Whatever big emotion they might feel, the child subconsciously feels like home is the best place for them to do this. Parents are supposed to be a safe place. Parents are supposed to love their children no matter what, even if they are acting like an animal with rabies. Parents don't deserve to have their child's bad mood explode on them, but try and remember that your child needs your help to process these big emotions, and yelling back at them isn't teaching them anything. Instead, we need to help our children identify where their anger is coming from and how to deal with it.

Anger protects us from being vulnerable. Even when anger appears to be instantaneous, there is always some other feelings or reason that give rise to the anger. Children will avoid dealing with their fears, sadness, or anxiety by stuffing down those emotions instead of projecting anger. Why?

• Anger empowers us with a sense of control. It allows us to feel empowered instead of a victim.
• Anger can be used to seek attention. Anger outbursts can be a cry for help, even subconsciously.
• It is easier to be angry than to feel the other emotions that the anger is suppressing. Anger can be used as a way to soothe other pains.

Step 3: Help Your Child Calm Down So You Can Talk To Them. You can't help your child until they are ready to talk, and sometimes we need to help the child calm down. Learning to cope with big emotions and keep your cool does NOT happen overnight. This is a skill your child needs to develop with practice. Imagine how difficult it is for us, as adults, to keep our composure when someone gets us angry. Children have that same difficulty plus more because they are less practiced at it. Coping isn't intuitive, and as parents, it is important to understand that we probably have to help our children learn to cope.

A mistake that many parents make during this step is assuming what works for them will work for their child. This is not necessarily the case. Kids have to find what works for them on their own, and although your way of coping might work for them, it also may not. Teach your child to cope by giving them lots of options for coping and letting them try each technique out one by one. Let them discover what works for them and what doesn't through practice and the process of elimination.

To help aid in this process, I have a free PDF for you called 20 Ways To Cope. This free resource gives parents over 20 different coping ideas to teach their children. Once several coping techniques that work for your child are identified, I suggest you make a coping box to keep those ideas in one place. When you are done, the box might contain papers with reminders of activities your child can do, different fidget toys, books, journals for your child to write in, coloring books, soft fuzzy blankets, … the idea is to have a box that contains varies options for coping readily for your child to use when they need it.   Get the 20 Ways To Cope FREE resource inside the Impactful Parent App alongside this video. https://theimpactfulparent.com/app

Step 4: Identify the REAL source of the stress. Now that you and your child are calmer, you are ready to start figuring out what is really the underlying issue of all that anger. The best way to do this is to ask your child lots of questions. Kids learn best if you don't tell them the answers, but you let them figure out the answers themselves. Let your child discover the root of their feelings, even if you think you know the answers already. Start by saying something like, "I can see you are upset today. Can we talk about what is going on? I would like to help." Then follow up with LOTS of questions about their feelings and the incident that made them angry. Remember, even if you think you know the answers, you want to lead your child to discover those answers themselves. Ask questions like:

• What might be causing that?
• What was your reaction?
• What could you have done better?
• Why do you think that happened?
• How did that make you feel?
• Why do you think they did that?
• Is there any truth in what that person said, or was it false?
• Why does it bother you?

To help you in this process of asking the right questions, I have another FREE PDF for you. These FREE resources give parents questions to ask their children to help them process what happened and learn from their choices. Get it inside the Impactful Parent App alongside this video. https://theimpactfulparent.com/app

Approach your child with empathy and understanding. You want to acknowledge their anger and validate their feelings. You can say something like, "You seem angry today. I bet something crappy happened. I have mad days too." You don't want to solve your child's problems for them. Instead, the intention is to listen and ask questions.

Remember, sometimes children have angry outbursts because they lack the skills to behave any other way. When parents take the time to help their children process and learn from their experiences, they also empower their children to grow and learn.

Step 5: Repeat Don't expect to go through this process once and have your child come out of a Rock Star of Emotional Control. This is going to take practice. Remember, progress is sometimes two steps forward and one step back. Some days your child will want to talk, and other days your child doesn't even want to calm down. You are going to have to stay consistent and patient! Don't give up!

Remember my child stomping up the stairs? Well, I found out that they failed a quiz. Not just any quiz, but one they studied for a lot, and we're hoping to ace and bring their B+ to an A-. To make matters worse, on the walk home, their backpack zipper broke. Papers, notebooks, pencils, and books fell to the ground, were moist and puddly from the afternoon rain. My child felt defeated by the day and was frustrated with his quiz score.

I could have matched my child's behavior with my own anger. It certainly would have been justified because my child's tone and words could be considered disrespectful. I could have yelled at them, given them a punishment, or demanded they start homework immediately. But I didn't. I didn't respond at all. I let them storm to their room. 10 minutes later, I knocked on their door with popcorn in my hand. "Hey, kiddo. It seems like you're angry. Are you ok? I bet something bad happened at school today. What's going on?"

And that was the start of the conversation.

To grab your free resources mentioned in this video today and if you want to become a more Impactful Parent, download the Impactful Parent app! Available for FREE on Apple and Android app stores. Also, check out all that my website has to offer! I have parenting courses, family coaching, and lots of free resources. But until next time, you got this, parents. I am just here to help.

 

Nerissa Bauer gives tips to parents on how they can help their child with ADHD to be their best selves. Nerissa's tips are practical and useful PLUS- Nerissa gives the audience a FREE E-BOOK! Her free e-book, "Getting the care your child needs with an ADHD Care Plan," helps parents navigate help, treatment, and the weeks ahead after a diagnosis. Get your FREEBIE by downloading the FREE Impactful Parent App!

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LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

www.letstalkkidshealth.org for more from Nerissa

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Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

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Transcript for How To Work With A Child With ADHD

Kristina: Welcome, impactful parent. Today, we will talk about four high-yield tips for parents to nurture kids with ADHD.

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I'm the founder of The Impactful Parent. I help parents of school-aged children turn their chaos into connection with their adolescence. I offer parent education videos every week, online courses, and coaching. And if that wasn't enough, I bring experts in other fields to The Impactful Parent stage to teach you even more. Today I have a special guest. Her name is Dr. Marissa Bower. Dr. Bower is a behavioral pediatrician and CEO of Let's Talk KidsHealth and creator of Teach Me ADHD. She is passionate about helping families become confident in navigating the road ahead after a diagnosis of ADHD.

Marissa:  Thank you so much, Kristina, for having me.

Kristina: Well, let's start with the basics. What is ADHD?

Marissa: So basically, it's a very common neurobehavioral condition that affects how kids think and learn. And it just means that this population thinks and learns a little differently. It just means they need help with their attention and executive functioning.

Kristina: What should parents do if they suspect that their child has ADHD?

Marissa:  I would talk to your pediatrician or primary care provider. Have a discussion about what you're seeing, what you're thinking, and then bring in any documentation from the teacher, any schoolwork, anything like that that is causing you some concern.

Kristina: What should parents be looking for? What are some signs of ADHD?

Marissa: There are 3 different types of ADHD.

1. Hyperactive impulsive- This one typically is discovered early on, especially in younger kids. Kids are climbing all over. They're disrupting class.
2. Inattentive ADHD- This one usually comes to parents' attention around third-fourth grade because, at that point, kids are not no longer just learning to read. They're reading to learn. That's a very different skill set. They have to draw on their working memory. We know that these kids, especially girls, can be missed until later on as the demands at school get more difficult.

Kristina:  Let's say a parent goes and gets a diagnosis. Their child has ADHD. Now what? What can parents do to support their children?

Marissa: We know that medication can decrease overall ADHD symptoms in children. This doesn't mean that medication is the right fit for your family, but it will be an option. First of all, we have to understand the mechanics of what ADHD is and what it isn't. It is a brain-based condition. ADHD affects the frontal lobes of a child's brain. The part of the brain that is responsible for executive functions, such as organizing, prioritizing manager time, sustained attention, regulator, emotions, all of these different things. It is also important to talk to the child to understand their body. Some kids get scared when they are diagnosed. They have lots of questions too. We don't want our kids to fear this. We want them to be proud of who they are because it's a part of who they are. There are going to be things that will be challenges for them. Other things will be strengths.

So I think, first of all, having a conversation after the diagnosis is important. Also, revisit issues as your child gets older.

Kristina: Anytime you can start a conversation with your child and start asking questions, you're displaying to your child that you care.

What's your second tip?

Marissa: We know that kids with ADHD often have a hard time regulating emotion. That's one of the executive functions. So as much as possible, we need to expand their emotional vocabulary. Parents can teach kids how to express themselves and expand their emotions-words vocabulary. We experience as humans a whole range of emotions. That's what makes us human. Also, provide verbal encouragement to your child and acknowledge their frustration and efforts.

Kristina:  Good communication for kids is going to help them beyond ADHD.

What is tip number three?

Marissa: Individuals with ADHD often need multi-sensory ways of learning information. Parents and teachers need to provide different outlets for learning the same content. Yes, kids with ADHD can hyperfocus on a topic when they find it interesting; however, they will also have trouble focusing when the topic is considered boring or difficult. Parents may need to help their children get started. To do this, a parent can put a gentle hand on their shoulder, make sure there is good eye contact, get down on their level, use their name, and give attention cues. Kids often have a hard time pulling attention away from a preferred activity to a non-preferred activity or just transitions.

Kristina: Another great tip! What's your tip number four?

Marissa: Treatment. This doesn't necessarily mean medication, but it can. We can start doing right off the bat by teaching our kids self-care strategies, getting enough sleep, putting healthy foods in their bodies, proper exercise, and physical activity.

Another option is behavioral therapy. Get help from a health care professional to help your child learn and develop skills that will serve them as they grow. This is best done with a professional because kids need that outside help sometimes. Parents can't do it all. Different therapists specialize in this and are trained to help your child.

Kristina: This is great information, and that's not all! I hear you have a freebie for my audience.

Marissa: I'm giving your audience my ebook! It's about creating a care plan for your child. The book is written for parents after diagnosis. It talks about how to begin navigating the road of ADHD because you will hear things like IEP and 504. What is all this alphabet soup? It can be overwhelming. I hope that this freebie will help families understand the different pillars of the care plan so when you go to your child's pediatrician, you can advocate for your child.

Kristina: If people want to come to you and get your advice, where can they find you?

Marissa: You can go to my website: www.letstalkkidshealth.org

I also have a weekly show where I bring guests to break down the stigma around behavioral health. I also offer my ADHD Course three times a year. The course is for kids with ADHD to take with their parents. Kids can see that they're not alone, and the course is taken online. The course helps you bridge the gap and build up your toolbox of resources to be empowered and confident as you walk the road ahead.

Kristina: Thank you for being here, Marissa! The audience can pick up that eBook freebie by downloading the FREE Impactful Parent App at https://theimpactfulparent.com/app; I hope parents get these free resources today and start becoming more impactful parents.

 

Narcissism In Children Can narcissism be hereditary? Can genes pass this trait down to our kids? Impactful Parent founder, Kristina Campos, talks about the signs of narcissism in children, causes of narcissism, red flags and signs of narcissistic tendencies, and tips for parents to prevent a growing narcissistic kids. Watch today!

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LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

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Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

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Transcript for Narcissism In Children

 

Welcome Impactful Parents. Today we are going to talk about narcissism.

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I am the founder of the Impactful Parent. Every week I come on and answer one of your questions LIVE. If you have a question for next week, please submit it at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com or by messaging me on social media. All submissions are kept anonymous. 

Today's question from the audience is asking about narcissism. Is narcissism hereditary? The audience member thinks their parent is a narcissist and worry that their child might have inherited the personality flaw. So, these parents ask, "Can genes pass on this disorder to kids?"

Thank you for submitting this question! Today I will talk about narcissism, its causes, and red flag warning signs. And stick around to the end because I will explain how parents could be making narcissism worse. Let's get started!

 

Narcissism is characterized by a sense of grandiosity, they want admiration by others, the need for attention, superficial interpersonal relationships, and a lack of empathy. Typically, narcissism is not diagnosed in children as personality changes and evolves until adulthood. Throughout development, children go through phases that include self-centered tendencies or inflated views of themselves. This is normal. It is more concerning when these traits persist after puberty. Still, parents need to recognize the CAUSES, SYMPTOMS, and SIGNS of narcissism to help their children prevent a deep onset of this disorder because narcissistic adults struggle with their relationships and don't deal with the stress well, and find opposing opinions difficult to accept. This brings a lot of conflict into their lives, leading to an increased risk of anxiety, depression, drug abuse, and suicide.

CAUSES:  So what causes narcissistic personality disorder? Experts have different opinions, and the bottom line is they aren't sure. Some experts claim that it can be genetic. Still, most doctors agree that environmental factors play a role in creating a narcissist, including parental influences, which I will address in a few minutes.

What Does Childhood Narcissism Look Like?: Among the myths about narcissistic people is that they believe themselves to be better than others. This is not true. Narcissism is rooted in insecurity, even if the narcissist doesn't realize it. Outwardly they will overcompensate with confidence. That is why many narcissists appear arrogant, entitled, act as though they are superior to others, and feel like they deserve special treatment. Another outward quality will likely include being the center of attention. Narcissists also have turbulent relationships. Value is only given to people if they are considered useful, so many narcissists belittle and exploit others. They cannot empathize, too. At the same time, narcissists are dependent upon other people to reaffirm their self-image. Narcissists who do not receive attention and praise feel empty, bored, depressed, or restless.

So how can I tell if I have a child turning narcissistic?

• They might monopolize conversations,
• Expect special treatment,
• Have very sensitive feelings to criticism,
• Feel uncomfortable with fantasy play,
• Lie and justify their lie whole hardly,
• Have an inflated ego,
• Belittle others,
• Have overdramatic tantrums,
• Lack of close friendships or a high turnover of friends,
• Outwardly express they are better than other kids,
• Isolate or exclude other children from their playgroup because of their superficial characteristics,
• Throw tantrums when they are criticized,
• Won't look people in the eye,
• Can be considered a "bully" at school,
• Brags excessively and exaggerates their achievements,
• Talks about a limitless future where the sky is the limit,
• Are envious of other's successes and even feel threatened by other's success,
• Will argue with adults when things aren't going their way,
• Post excessively on social media, especially selfie images,
• Won't take responsibility for their actions when they are wrong,
• And have an unreasonably high expectation of people around them.

 

Can parents help children overcome their narcissistic tendencies?: The short answer to this question is yes. Parenting styles can influence the chances of having a narcissistic child. Parents want to foster self-esteem and confidence in their children. Still, if a parent outwardly expresses entitlement for their child, they could be growing narcissistic characteristics in their kid. Parents shouldn't put the idea in their child's heads that they are better than everyone else. These extreme expectations from parents can prove to be detrimental. Parents need to be careful not to be too overprotective or indulgent with their children. Don't behave as though your child is more entitled than other children. Pampering your child too much can lead to narcissistic qualities.

Remember, parents are not the only cause of narcissistic children. Other environmental factors that can cause narcissism can be cultural influences, genetics, narcissistic parents' role modeling behaviors, excessive criticism, and traumatic experiences- just to name a few.

 

I hope that answered our audience question today and was informative to you. Do you have a question for me for next week? Submit your questions by social media DM or email me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com. Plus- if you want to become a more Impactful Parent, check out all that my website has to offer! I have parenting courses, family coaching, a free downloadable app, and many free resources. But until next time, you got this, parents. I am just here to help.

How To Have A Good Divorce

In this episode, 2 parenting coaching talk about the importance of having a "good divorce" so that transition become easier on the children and family unit.  Tips, advice, and personal experiences are talked about. 

This is a clubhouse episode rerun.  If you want to join the conversation LIVE, download the Clubhouse app and join us! Live recordings made Fridays, Noon EST on the App.  @impactfulparent to find Kristina and join her FREE Clubhouse rooms!  Email theimpactfulparent.com for questions.

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Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

Toughen Up Kid! How To Build Resiliency In Kids

This episode gives the 7 Steps for Building Resiliency In Kids. This episode breaks down the 7 steps and gives examples of personal experiences given by real parents on how they are building resiliency in their own homes. 

This episode is a Clubhouse Replay.  Come join the conversation LIVE! Download the Clubhouse app and find The Impactful Parent @impactfulparent inside the app.  Then join Kristina and other parenting coaching LIVE and in person every Friday at Noon EST.  

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Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

Get Kids Sleeping Better with sleep consultant Missy Morrison Charko. Missy gives the audience tips for getting their children to sleep PLUS- Missy's interview comes with a FREE PDF and discounts for her services. Watch the video for more information and get your child sleeping soundly through the night!

-------

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

-------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

-------

Transcript for Get Kids Sleeping Better

Kristina: Welcome, Impactful Parent. Today, we're going to talk about seven actionable tips that will help your child start sleeping better, improve mood and behavior, and then pave the way for them to reach their full potential of the day.

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I am the founder of The Impactful Parent. I help parents of school-aged children turn their chaos into connection with their adolescence. I offer free parent education videos every week, online courses, and coaching. If that wasn't enough, I bring experts in other fields onto The Impactful Parent stage to teach you even more. And today I have a special guest. Her name is Missy Morrison Charko. And Missy is a certified pediatric sleep consultant and founder of Say Yes To The Rest, pediatric sleep consulting. She helps exhausted parents with one-on-one support to get their children to sleep so that they can start to feel like themselves again. Thank you for being here, Missy.

Missy: Thank you so much for having me, Kristina. I'm super excited.

Kristina: So tell me, why is sleep so important for both kids and parents? Let's start there. The fundamentals. Why is this important for people?

Missy: Absolutely. Sleep is a necessity for everyone. When we wake up exhausted, our whole day is affected the next morning. It affects our workday. It affects our personal relationships. It affects everything we do for that next 24 hour period. For our teenage kids, it affects their day at school. Suppose they're not getting a good night's sleep; it affects their moods and behaviors. It affects their growth and development, too. So it's absolutely an important part of a healthy lifestyle and a necessity for all of us from babies up to our adult and older years.

Kristina: I know that it's just horrible if I don't get enough sleep. I also got teenagers who just refuse to accept that they need sleep.

What is the first tip that you believe parents need to use to help avoid bedtime battles with their kids, whether they're young or they're teenagers, so that we can get those kids in bed?

Missy: Boundaries and making sure that we're holding our ground is an important part of all of this. It's amazing how much you can do during the daytime that can come into the bedtime routine. Some kids want to push boundaries too. But parents need to stand their ground and be consistent.

Kristina: I love boundaries because boundaries create security for kids. They are more than rules. They create feelings of being secure with your caregiver. However, many people don't realize how important boundaries are. Do you have any tips for how to establish boundaries, especially for our older kids that are definitely going to be fighting back?

Missy: Absolutely. And I love what you just said about boundaries, Kristina. Children feel safer, and they feel secure when they have boundaries.

My first suggestion for you is to establish a bedtime routine. Bedtime routines are important for everyone, even teens and adults. Set a consistent bedtime routine every night, doing the same things every single night. Being consistent every night can help set those boundaries and create that consistent routine they need. Routine cues our body and our brain that it's time for sleep. Try dimming the lights when your child is getting ready for bed. Things like that can get that melatonin production going and help children fall asleep easier and quicker.

Kristina: One mistake that I see parents make is creating a bedtime routine that is too elaborate or long. As the child gets older, they're exhausted because it takes 30 minutes to an hour to put their older children to sleep. I want to clarify that a bedtime routine must be consistent but not elaborate.

Missy: Absolutely. We usually recommend a 15 to 30 minutes bedtime routine. If the routine is too long, the body and the mind forget that they need to sleep.

Kristina:  What's the biggest reason older children have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep?

Missy: Screen time. I also hear that kids pick up those screens in the middle of the night. Electronics are detrimental to sleep. Artificial light is the number one hindrance for adult and teen sleep disturbances. Blue light from screens decreases your melatonin production. It causes the cortisol hormone to jump instead. I recommend getting rid of screen time after dinner or at least a few hours before bedtime.

Kristina: How many hours should kids sleep, too?

Missy: We're looking for nine to 11 hours of sleep at night for our tweens and teens. We're looking for eight to 10 once we get to our adulthood.

Kristina:  What kind of advice do you have for parents that have children with bedtime fears?

Missy:  Try using soothing items to help your child calm their body. Sound machines are good. Special blankets and stuffed animals can also be helpful. If you've got a child who has a fear of the dark or is having nightmares, try a worry eater jar. Have your child write down their worries and put them into the jar. At night, their worries will disappear by the morning. It gives kids a little bit of peace of mind. That's just a fun little thing to do.

Also, do calming exercises or meditation. There are many apps that you can use to help bring anxiety down. If your child is afraid of the dark, you can try playing games in the dark with them during the awake hours. Dim the lights of a room and play shadow puppets or Hide and Seek.

Kristina: You are a great resource for our parents, but I know sleep problems tend to be more for our younger kids. So do you work with younger children as well?

Missy:  Absolutely. I love working with babies and toddlers. When we establish those healthy sleep habits early on, we're much less likely to see issues in these later school-age years.

Kristina: How does the audience contact you?

Missy: You can go to my website, www.sayyestotherest.com, where you can book a complimentary 15-minute child's sleep evaluation call with me. Those just allow me to get to know the family, see what sleep struggles they're going with, and see if we're the right fit to work together.

Kristina: That's not all! Missy has a freebie! Can you tell us a little bit more about that?

Missy: I have a PDF available for you that lists all of the topics I touched on today.

Kristina: Thank you, Missy.  

Audience, if you want to get that free PDF, you can find it Free inside the Impactful Parent app! It is available on the Apple App Store and Android Play Store or with this link: https://theimpactfulparent.com/app

And parents, if you want to become a more impactful parent, check out all them my website has to offer. I have parenting courses, family coaching, a free downloadable app, and many free resources. But until next time, you got this. I'm just here to help.