Parenting Stories, Struggles and Strategies for Moms and Dads of School-aged Children, Teenagers, and Impactful Parents

129: Sibling Sexual Abuse Awareness

Sibling Sexual Abuse Awareness Episode:

Jane Epstein comes onto the Impactful Parent stage and tells her story of sibling sexual abuse. This silent epidemic is rarely talked about publicly, but many families need support. Jane Epstein provides the Impactful Parent audience education, awareness, and resources for help in this very important episode. 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING Sibling Sexual Abuse:

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://theimpactfulparent.com/siblingsexualabuse for Jane's resources

www.complicatedcourage.com for Jane's website

---------------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter  so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST  and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website  of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

------------------------

Sibling Sexual Abuse Awareness TRANSCRIPT:

Kristina: Welcome to The Impactful Parent. Today we're going to talk about a silent epidemic that's happening around the world. It is sibling sexual abuse. In today's episode, I'd like to bring awareness to the silent epidemic and give you prevention tips. Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I'm the founder of The Impactful Parent, and welcome to my Inspire and Learn series, where real parents come on and tell their story of inspiration and learning because a wise man learns from his mistakes. Still, a wiser man learns from other people's mistakes. Today we're going to learn from our guest Jane Epstein.  Jane is a sibling sexual abuse survivor and advocates who speaks about tools parents can use for prevention and victims can use for recovery. I'm happy to have her on the show today. Thank you for being here, Jane.

Jane:  Thank you so much for having me, and thank you to your guests who are listening.

Kristina: Jane, I want to talk about your story first. Would you mind telling us about what happened to you?

Jane:  I'm going to give you the shortened version of my story. My story happens out of order because my life kind of happened out of order. That's the easiest way to describe it. When I was about 45 years old, I found myself incredibly depressed, and I was sitting at the bottom of the staircase holding my eight-year-old son's hand. I wanted to tell him, I'm sorry, I failed you as a mother. Because I had that sense of dread rising into my chest, I felt like my life was coming to an end. Turns out that was depression. It was at that moment that I decided I needed to figure out what was going on. Why am I so unhappy? I'm married. I have two children, I should be happy.

[caption id="attachment_4454" align="alignright" width="300"] sibling sexual abuse awareness[/caption]

I started writing my story down from the start until the present day. I realized that I had been sexually abused from age six until 12 by an older sibling when I started doing that. After that, I became promiscuous, and I became so promiscuous that I became a stripper. Being a stripper actually gave me power. I felt pretty, and I learned how to talk to men.  It doesn't happen often, but I met my first husband stripping. He was actually a patron in the club. He came up, and he tipped me and said, “What are you doing here? You look like the kind of girl I can take home to meet my mom.”  And he did just that. I did meet his mom, and we were married. We actually had a really nice love affair, but at some point, I started resenting him because I wasn't known inside. I didn't understand that, but he didn't know the real me. He didn't know the shame I held.  I started resenting him, and I started pushing him away.

Then my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer. When he died, I felt for the first time. I'd spent 40 years hiding and being numb. With his death, I couldn't avoid the pain.

To my surprise, I got remarried and had two small children. That's when the memories came back of the sexual abuse, and that's when I ended up depressed at the beginning of my story.  I ended up having to turn inward and discover what was going on inside of me that needed to be addressed to move forward.

Kristina: That's an amazing journey. I don't feel like it's unusual. Sexual abuse memories can get suppressed and then come back later in life when something triggers it. I'm glad that you found where you are now and are helping others. Thank you for doing that.

Jane: Thank you. I feel very fortunate to have come to this part of my life where I can give back.

Kristina: Let's talk a little bit about sibling sexual abuse. How likely is this to happen in families?

Jane: Sibling sexual abuse includes step siblings, cousins, and older adolescents. So think about your child's best friend's older brother or sister. In fact, 35 to 40% of child sexual abuse is estimated to be perpetrated by juveniles. So it is a silent epidemic and is happening. We just aren't talking about it.

[caption id="attachment_4455" align="alignleft" width="300"] sibling sexual abuse awareness[/caption]

Kristina: I want to identify the difference between normal child curiosity versus sexual abuse. Can you make that difference for the audience?

Jane: It's a very confusing aspect of sibling sexual abuse and part of the reason it's hidden so well. Children are curious. Absolutely. Curiosity is between children the same size, same age, and at the same developmental level. Curiosity is exploratory and spontaneous. Think of two children giggling and playing doctor once or twice. The behavior stops after a couple of times or after a parental intervention. Sexual abuse occurs when the children are at different ages, sizes, and developmental levels. Sexual abuse is hidden. It's behind closed doors, and the motivation is sexual gratification or power.

Kristina: I want to make things clear that the older child may not have malicious intentions.  They really could be curious, but their actions are still considered abuse because of the age difference.

Jane:  That is correct. Often their motives start as curiosity but evolve into abuse, as in my situation.  I had an older sibling who was curious, started touching me, and it went on for six years because their body reacts the way it's supposed to react.

Kristina: What are the factors that lead to sibling sexual abuse?

Jane: There's not just one thing that can lead to it, but I will walk you through a couple scenarios. The first is a lack of body safety education. It’s important to read books to your child about body safety, boundaries, the right to say no, and kids knowing the correct terms for private parts.

Second, educate your 10-13-year-old about sex, puberty, and their changing body. Kids are going to have questions. They're going to want to find answers. You want your child to be comfortable going to you for help and not seek out a younger sibling or a younger cousin or the internet for those answers.

[caption id="attachment_4456" align="alignright" width="300"] sibling sexual abuse awareness[/caption]

Third, watch out that your child isn’t exposed to pornography. Sometimes avoiding pornography is impossible because your child will stumble upon it by accident. We need to educate our children about pornography.

Kristina: Awareness is my primary goal today. Many parents don’t even know this exists. You can’t prevent something you don’t know anything about.  I am grateful you are making everyone aware.  It can’t be easy to tell your story.

Jane: It is very difficult to talk about. When I first started coming forward with my story, I started Googling ‘sibling sexual abuse.’ Google was almost silent. I thought, well, I can't be the only one. So I started coming forward with my story. I had survivors reaching out to me, saying thank you for talking about this. Then I started having parents reaching out to me, saying this happened in their family. Today, I have four or five people reach out to me daily. This silent epidemic destroys families. But, I truly believe that we can put a dent in the numbers if we educate our children and if we educate ourselves.

Kristina: What are the signs of sibling sexual abuse so parents can look out for it in their homes?

Jane: There's one thing I do want to share. First and foremost is that approximately 40% of children who are sexually abused show no signs. 40% show no signs! That's why I feel prevention is in education.

Parents, you know your kids best. Kids don't generally change for no reason overnight. If there's unexplained anger or all of a sudden they don't want to go to someone's house, or they're wetting the bed, then consider this as a possible cause.

Kristina: These kids need help. Both the abuser and the person that got abused need help.  Where can parents find help?

Jane: I am a full-time advocate. I have lots of websites and resources on my site. I'm not making any money from this. I'm just bringing about awareness. To start, I have a FREE PDF for your audience they can download with a list of resources.  

Kristina: To get that FREE PDF of resources, you can go to https://theimpactfulparent.com/siblingsexualabuse, and Jane’s website is www.complicatedcourage.com

Jane: I want to tell your audience that you are not alone if they are victims or a parent of sibling sexual abuse.  Get help. You are not alone, and there is help for you.

Kristina: Jane, thank you so much.

If you have an inspiring story and want to share your story with The Impactful Parent community so that others can learn from you, please go to https://theimpactfulparent.com/work-with-me and sign up.

You can also become a more impactful parent by checking out all that my website has to offer. I have parenting courses, family coaching, 30-day challenges, and lots of free resources. But until next time, you got this, parents. I am just here to help.

---------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

 

127: Controlling YOUR Emotions To Be A Better Parent

Controlling YOUR Emotions To Be A Better Parent with Cristina Moise.  This episode gives tips to parents for controlling their emotions and why it is an important part of good parenting.

 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING Emotional Self Regulation: Controlling your emotions to be a better parent :

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

--------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter  so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST  and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website  of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

-------------

Transcript for Controlling YOUR Emotions To Be A Better Parent.

Kristina:  Welcome impactful parents. Today we are going to talk about how to balance yourself emotionally as a parent.

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I'm the founder of The Impactful Parent. Today we have a special guest Cristina Moise. Cristina is the founder of Refresh Your Mind. She guides parents to overcome anxiety and become emotionally balanced to be better parents. Thank you for being here, Cristina.

Cristina: Thank you.

Kristina: Parenting is full of overwhelm! I feel like I'm overwhelmed about 90% of my day! So how can parents manage the overwhelm in their life?

[caption id="attachment_4402" align="alignright" width="300"] Controlling YOUR Emotions To Be A Better Parent[/caption]

Cristina: My first suggestion is to take time for yourself. I know this is difficult.  I also suggest you write down everything you think you need to do.  What you will notice is, as you reflect on your to-do list, things will become clear. The list will look manageable, or you will find things you can cross off and do later.  You can also prioritize items and others you can put at the bottom of the list.  

Next, examine the list and consider items you can delegate to others. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or support.

Kristina: Parents should delegate tasks to their children. For example, if your child is old enough to do laundry. Then have them do their own laundry. Period.  If they aren’t old enough yet, then parents should be teaching their children to do laundry. Small children love to be helpers, and I teach my kids from a very young age to help me fold clothes and separate clothes by color.  

Another emotion common amongst parents is anxiety.  What are some tips for overcoming anxiety?

Cristina: Anxiety is nothing more than fear about the future. Ask yourself, what is the successful outcome that I want? Imagining a success-based scenario is what will help you through the anxious times. Our projections about the future are very much based on our experiences from the past. To overcome our bad past experiences, parents need to have several good counteracting good experiences and a mindset shift focusing on the positive.

[caption id="attachment_4400" align="alignleft" width="300"] Controlling YOUR Emotions To Be A Better Parent[/caption]

Kristina: Children have a special knack for pushing our buttons. They trigger our emotions and bring up our unresolved feelings from our past.

Cristina: Yes! Children remind us that there's something that needs to change. There is some unresolved business or emotions from our past that is not fully released and need attention. To be honest, I thought that parenting was all about educating our children.  I was wrong.  Instead, children teach the parents more about themselves. Parenting forces many people to readdress their past feelings and get closure so they can move forward.

Kristina: I couldn't agree more. There is nothing like parenting, to bring up all the stuff from your past that you didn't even know bothered you. Give yourself grace. Everybody has things that they're going to have to deal with.  Good parents will reexamine those deep-seated emotions and grow from their experiences.  Each generation, hopefully, gets more perspective and improves themselves.

[caption id="attachment_4399" align="alignleft" width="300"] Controlling YOUR Emotions To Be A Better Parent[/caption]

Cristina: Parents naturally want to ignore or suppress the negative emotions that parenting will drag up.  This is natural, but we have to resist surpassing the emotions. Instead, we need to deal with those emotions to release them.  Negative emotions are actually good.  Yes, they are uncomfortable, but the truth is, we will get the biggest growth and the biggest learnings from these emotions. Uncomfortable negative emotions are like someone knocking on your door. It is something saying to you that something requires your attention. Let go of your negative emotions from your past. Many learnings, new information, and new perspectives about yourself can develop from addressing the root of your emotions.

Kristina:  Thank you for talking with me, Cristina.  Parents need to self-examine their emotions and curate some self-love.  Too often, parents only focus on the children and keeping the children happy. Still, it is just as important to care for ourselves, so we can be better parents.

And if anyone in the audience wants to become a more impactful parent, check out my website. I have parenting courses, family coaching, 30-day challenges, and lots of free resources for you and your school-aged child. But until next time, you got this, parents. I am just here to help.

----------------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

128: Stop The Nagging. Create A Routine.

Stop The Nagging. Create A Routine.

Stop the Nagging. Create a ROUTINE.  In this episode, discover why routine is important for children of all ages and how you can create a routine for your child to be successful.

Stop Nagging.  Create a Routine. Links in Episode 👇

• More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com

----------------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter  so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST  and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website  of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

--------------------

Transcript for Stop Nagging. Create a Routine.

Welcome Impactful Parents.  Today we are going to talk about how to create a routine for your school-aged child.

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I am the founder of the Impactful Parent. Every week I come on and answer one of your questions LIVE.  If you have a question for next week, please submit it at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com or by messaging me on social media.  All submissions are kept anonymous. 

Today’s question reads: When our kids are babies, everyone tells you how important routine is for them.  What about when your child is elementary school age? Or Middle school? Does routine become less important as children get older, and what does it look like beyond the toddler years?

[caption id="attachment_4441" align="alignright" width="300"] Stop Nagging[/caption]

Thank you for submitting this question!  Today I will tell you why routine is important for your child at all developmental stages, and stick around to the end because I am giving you tips for creating a routine to be a more impactful parent. Let’s get started!

First of all, routine is incredibly important for your school-aged child because of 3 main things:  Routine provides security, helps with behavior problems, and teaches growing adolescents time management skills. (Among other awesome benefits too.)

When children or adolescents have a routine, they feel more secure about their environment. There is predictability in their day, and this, in turn, makes them less anxious and reduces stress. It might sound silly, but routine creates the security that kids need to feel safe with you. You aren’t this unpredictable creature that will throw something unexpected at them that they can’t handle or that they don’t like. Routine makes kids feel safe. When you establish a routine with your child, you will also create a bond with them that a chaotic and disruptive household simply does NOT have.

Routine also alleviates many behavior problems that can arise, especially as your child gets older into their teen years and wants to assert their independence.  Routine is the foundation for making your expectations clear and known. Once you need your child to do a certain task, for example, clean their room or do their homework, parents should set up a particular time and day for their child to accomplish the expectation. When a task becomes routine instead of sporadic, it doesn’t feel like a chore for the child to accomplish because it is simply part of their day.  Parents will also get less push-back, arguments, and it increases the likelihood of your child being successful.

[caption id="attachment_4442" align="alignright" width="300"] Stop Nagging[/caption]

Lastly, the third reason you want to implement a routine in your house is to teach your child to become a responsible adult.  Yep, routine teaches children time management skills and basic work skills to get things done.  As they become middle school and high school students, this is increasingly more important, as their workload gets bigger. They have to learn to multi-task activities. Routine teaches kids responsibility and prioritization.

So how do parents implement routines in their homes?  Well, start by writing down everything you want your child to do every day and every week.  Make a list of activities and find a time and day for each thing.  The hardest part of a routine is not making these lists and choosing the time. The difficult part is creating stability and consistency for your child.  This is where most parents falter.  Things come up, and life gets busy, but just like when your child was a baby, and you had to rearrange your day around nap time, parents of school-aged children need to prioritize the routine in their home.  Yes, you’ll need to inconvenience your own schedule, needs, and wants for the greater good of your child’s routine. It sucks, I know, but it is important.  For example, if you want your child to do their homework with integrity, you need to provide the space for your child to succeed.  It is difficult for growing brains who don’t have the executive functioning skills to do their homework at random times and in different locations.  Kids need consistency and routine to be the most successful.  This goes for any task that you want your child to do on an ongoing basis.  Let’s take, for example, bedtime.  Many parents don’t give their teens a bedtime routine.  Why? Well, they feel like they are old enough to bathe, brush their teeth, and put themselves to sleep. A consistent bedtime routine will help your child keep better hygiene and help set your teenager’s biological clock to know when it’s time to sleep. So monitoring and helping your teenager keep a bedtime routine can be very beneficial. Otherwise, they may go to bed at 9pm one day, 11pm the next day, and only brush their teeth on occasion…

[caption id="attachment_4443" align="alignleft" width="300"] Stop Nagging[/caption]

As your child gets older, you want them to assert their independence and do things themselves. However, they still need your monitoring to keep them honest and on schedule. I suggest rewarding your child for routines well done. You can also make their routine visual.  For younger children, create a chart for them to use, and for older children, teach them how to use a daily planner or even calendar reminders on their phone. Help your child include down-time as part of their routine, put upcoming assignments on their calendar, and even put family time on their schedule too.  The more predictable their day can be, the less stress and anxiety they will have. There is a lot of hand-holding and monitoring at the beginning of implementing a new routine. Still, with practice and by starting early when your child is young, you will be able to see the benefits of a good routine for years to come. 

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It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

40: Healthy Halloween

Special guest Jill Bucaro gives tips for how to have a healthier Halloween!  

Make an authentic connection with your child. Try a FREE 30 Day Challenge. You’ll receive a new question to ask your child every day- for 30 days. Get away from the boring questions and start connecting with your child one question at a time! https://theimpactfulparent.com/connection

Don’t forget to check out all the FREE resources and tips that The Impactful Parent has to offer!  https://theimpactfulparent.com  Links to the YouTube channel and social media post are there too!  Join The impactful Parent community by signing up for the weekly newsletter. Don’t miss an impactful tip!

Follow The Impactful Parent on social Media! Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, Pinterest, and YouTube.

125: Coping With Your Child‘s Choices When They REBEL

Coping With Your Child's Choices When They REBEL

Coping With Your Child's Choices: when you have a rebellious, wayward, or prodigal child.  Special Guest Laura Rudder talks about her personal experiences with her 2 children and gives tips for managing the big feelings of parents.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING Coping With Your Child's Choices When They Rebel:

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

www.laurarudder.com for more from Laura.

------------------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter  so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST  and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

------------------

Coping With Your Child's Choices: when you have a rebellious, wayward, or prodigal child TRANSCRIPT:

Kristina: Welcome impactful parents. Today, we will talk about how parents can manage their turbulent feelings when their child makes undesirable choices.

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos, founder of The Impactful Parent. Welcome to my Inspire and Learn series, where real parents come on and tell their story of inspiration learning. Because a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other people's mistakes. Today we're going to learn from my guest speaker, Laura Rudder. Laura has a powerful story about the emotions she endured and overcame as a parent of two prodigal children. She has some good advice and action tips that will help all parents going through the emotional pain of their children's negative and unexpected life choices. Thank you for being with me today.

Laura: Yes, thank you for having me. It's a real pleasure.

Kristina: Define what you mean by prodigal, wayward, or rebellious children. I want us all to be on the same page as we start our journey with you today.

[caption id="attachment_4338" align="alignright" width="300"]Coping With Your Child's Choices: when you have a rebellious, wayward or prodigal child[/caption]

Laura: The word prodigal is a biblical term. It's not actually in the Bible, but an easy definition of prodigal is someone who has walked away from their Christian values. A wayward child is behaving or living differently from how they were raised. A rebellious child is intentionally defying their parents and behaving oppositionally.

Kristina: Tell us about your kids and your story.

Laura:  Well, I could say I'm an expert in this field because I have lived that weariness, shame, embarrassment, heartache, and all the different emotions that come with being a parent of a prodigal, wayward, or rebellious child. I have two of them. They were raised in a Christian home and decided to go out and make their own living. I went through the hardship of feeling like you’ve lost your child and now have gained the inner strength to help others.

Kristina: I like to say that expectations are the death of connection. From the moment we're pregnant, we got this vision in our head about parenting. There is imagery in your head of weddings and babies and family gatherings, and then reality hits in. As your children grow, there are always some faltered expectations. So tell me a little bit about the feelings and emotions you had when your children did not exactly do what you expected them to do.

Laura: I will talk about the main ones. The first is embarrassment.  You try to parent your best, and when you think you must have done something wrong, the embarrassment sets in. You don't want anybody to know what’s happening in your home. You also don't feel like you’re able to talk to anybody.

But you have to remember that everyone has problems. People have skeletons in their closets. It feels like everyone knows, but they don’t.

Another emotion I went through was guilt. I questioned so much. What did I do wrong? Could I have prevented this? It is easy to beat yourself up. But I want the audience to remember God gave us free will. Your child has free will. Nobody is a perfect parent.

Another emotion I had was shame. Oh my goodness. Shame is so painful. It's humiliating. I want parents to remember, not to get stuck in the shame. Be proud of your parenting. Focus on the positives of what your child is doing. Don't put shame on your shoulders.

[caption id="attachment_4339" align="alignleft" width="300"]Coping With Your Child's Choices: when you have a rebellious, wayward or prodigal child[/caption]

The fourth emotion is hope. Never give up. Focus on the positive. Pray about it. God knows what's going on in your life. He sees, he knows. And yes, he does have great plans for you.

Kristina: I don’t doubt that you just mentioned the tip of the iceberg of emotions. There are thousands of feelings happening when you are a parent going through this.  It is all-consuming and heavy-hearted.  It feels like your heart is a rock in the middle of your chest. Why? Because we love our kids so much. We want the best for them.

I like to tell my parents that I work with, “you may have given a life, but it's not your life to live.” If you control your child too much, they will rebel. You have to let them fall, make mistakes, and learn on their own. We are really here to help support our children and hopefully instill some values in them that last a lifetime.

Laura: That is correct. And these emotions can be even more intense when your child is living in your home.  You will have the need to want to fix everything.  

Kristina: It is always difficult to deal with a child going wayward. It is especially difficult when your child turns away from the family's core beliefs or values.  Religion is one of those. I know this happened to you.  Do you recommend to parents reading this right now to hold on tight?  Do you throw your claws in and say, “no, you can't you need to do this,” or do you let them explore and pray that they come back?

Laura: If you're going to put your foot down, you will get greater resistance. Let them explore. Keep praying. Make your own boundaries about what you will allow inside your home, though. Let them explore but pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, and never give up. It may be years before anything changes, but keep praying. My oldest child is still prodigal. It’s been like this since 2006, and that is a long time! I'm still walking this path. I used to crumble up in a heap and just cry all the time. Now I focus on maintaining a relationship with my child.

Kristina: What action steps can parents take to help themselves in these difficult times and all the emotions running through them?

Laura: Step 1 is: Let it go. You're not going to fix them. Let God deal with them and release them up to God and say, they're yours, not mine. I can't handle this anymore.

Another suggestion is to write things down. Journaling is big. Write down all of your pain. Every emotion, write it down. Write down your disappointment. We all have disappointment. Write down all of your fears too. Then, after everything is out on paper, release them. Give all those emotions up to God.

[caption id="attachment_4340" align="alignright" width="300"]Coping With Your Child's Choices: when you have a rebellious, wayward or prodigal child[/caption]

Then start managing the stress. There is so much stress in these situations.  Go to a spa day. Get your nails done. Go for a walk.  Call a girlfriend. Do some activities that make you feel good.

Another thing is, cry. Oh my goodness. It's okay to cry! It truly is. It's okay to be a heap on the floor and ugly cry.  Don't look at the mirror. Just let it out.  And put a time limit on your crying. You don't want to stay stuck. So cry all you need, but put a time limit on it.

Kristina: Yes, let your emotions out, so they don’t fester and get worse. You need time to cry, but there's also a time to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and start making those baby steps to move forward. That's just as important as letting it out.

Laura: Also, consider getting counseling or coaching.  You don’t have to go through this alone.  Get help with managing your emotions and working through the situation.

Kristina:  Now, I’d like to backtrack a little bit and talk again about the 4 big emotions you mentioned earlier.  Please give the audience your advice for dealing with these emotions.

Let’s start with embarrassment. Typically, to rid your mind of embarrassment, you have to change your mindset. You are obviously caring about what other people think if you're embarrassed. How do we stop caring about what other people think?

Laura: We think everybody knows, and not everybody knows our business. Get it out of your brain that everyone is talking about you. Why should you care? Why should you care what people think? Are they living your life? No. Are they walking in your shoes? No. Remember that everyone has their own stuff they are going through. 

Kristina: How do we alleviate the guilt? Typically, this kind of guilt comes from feeling a sense of responsibility for the child’s actions. How can we alleviate the guilt?

Laura: Remember that your child has free will. You didn't do the action. Why should you feel guilty about something that you didn't do? Focus on the positives about your child and the good things they are doing.

Kristina:  And then there's shame. Shame is a lot like embarrassment.

Laura: Yes, shame and embarrassment go hand in hand. Shame on me. Shame on you. Don't ever put that on your shoulders. Be proud of your parenting and the person you are.  I am proud of who I am and how I set an example for my child.

Kristina: How do we maintain hope when our child is making us so discouraged?

Laura: As a Christian, I have a lot of Bible verses that I stand on, and I quote. For me, hope is in prayer.  I stand on His word. That is a huge help to me.

Kristina: If people resonate with you, how can they reach you?

Laura: I have a website at http://laurarudder.com

Kristina: If you want to become a more impactful parent, check out my website! I have parenting courses, family coaching, 30-day challenges, and lots of free resources. And if you have an inspiring story that you want to share, please go to https://theimpactfulparent.com, go to the work-with-me page and sign up. But until next time, you got this, parents. I'm just here to help.

--------------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

126: Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders: Tips for Parents

Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders: Tips for Parents 

Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders: Tips parents need to teach their children to keep them safe.

 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders:

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jY1wj2J4fo&t=106s Another video about child safety.

www.gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFUL30 For more information about GABB Phone and Watches

------------------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter  so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST  and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website  of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

----------------------

Transcript for Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders

Keeping your child safe from offenders.

Today’s question from the audience:  “I have a big fear that my child is going to be a victim of an offender or kidnapper.  It is a reoccurring nightmare that I have, and it bothers me a lot.  What can I do to prevent my nightmare from becoming a reality?”

Great question, and today I will give you some quick tips for keeping your child safe.

First of all, be aware that most offenders and abductors are not strangers.  This is a common misconception.  90% of sexual assault is committed by a person in a position of trust that your child knows.  This even includes family members.  So although it is very important to teach your child some basic information like, don’t take candy from strangers, run away towards the rear of the car if you suspect a car is following you, tell your parents about any adult that makes the child feel uneasy, always tell someone where you are going, and never walk alone in the dark, you have to remember that most of the “bad guys” are actually someone that your child already trusts.

[caption id="attachment_4367" align="alignright" width="300"] Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders[/caption]

But let’s begin with arming your child with tools for strangers first.  Besides the tips already mentioned, ensure that your child understands that some predators will lure your child in with things they know they love.  For example, Do you want to see my puppy? Roleplay with your child how they will react to strangers who try and entice them. Also, ask your child if they know your address and phone number.  Make sure that this information is memorized and that your child can spill out this information effortlessly and on-demand.  Teach your child to step away from vehicles that pull up beside them, even if the driver looks lost or asks for help.  Tell your tween or teenager not to walk and text at the same time.  Walking with their head down makes them a target. Adolescents need to be aware of their environment, who, where, and what is around them.

Now let’s talk about some tips for keeping your child safe around someone they know. Unfortunately, this is more likely to be the scenario you fear.  First of all, teaching your child to blindly obey authority can be detrimental to your child’s safety. Abductors and offenders will prey on easy targets first. That means that if you have a child who is taught to do whatever they are told, despite being uncomfortable, sad, or hurt, you also have a child who is more susceptible to being victimized.  As a parent, you don’t want to say things like “Be good and do what they tell you,” or “don’t question Uncle XXX, be respectful.” Although you may mean well and just want to teach your child respect for elders, this can set your child up for dangerous situations. Instead, teach your child to cooperate with adults but report anything that makes them feel uneasy.  It’s important that your child feels like they can come to you for help and clarification.  Sometimes perpetrators start small to test the waters and see what the child will allow.  Your child needs to be able to come to you to clarify their confusion and weird feelings without the fear that you will freak out or not believe them.  This is important.

[caption id="attachment_4366" align="alignright" width="300"] Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders[/caption]

Another thing you can do is teach your child how to say no.  I know what you’re thinking. My child already knows how to say no.  But saying no to you isn’t the same as saying no to a stranger or saying no to a person they trust, like an uncle, a teacher, or a friend at school.  They need to practice this aloud and use their body to reinforce the message that they mean no. Roleplay how to say no with not only their words but with their whole body.

[caption id="attachment_4365" align="alignleft" width="300"] Keeping Kids Safe From Offenders[/caption]

Of course, it is good to know who lives in your neighborhood and check the sex offender registry.

Teach your child about appropriate and inappropriate touch. 

Always get a good background check with anyone you leave your kids with.

Educate your child about the dangers of talking to strangers online and meeting up with people they don’t know.  This is especially important for teens and kids using dating apps.

I also suggest making sure that your child always has a way to get ahold of you and for you to know their location.  This can be done easily through cell phone GPS features. My own children wear GABB watches/phones.  These devices are great for the tween years when you want to keep the lines of communication open with your child, but you don’t want them online.  Gabb watches and phones don’t have apps, internet, or games.  But they do have GPS and are good working phones.  To learn more about Gabb phones and watches, go to: www.gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFUL30

I know this is only a taste of how to keep your child safe.  Mainly, I wanted to make you aware that kids don’t inherently know any of today's skills.  They must be taught by us, the parents.  They must be practiced so they can be instilled into their automatic brain. They must be repeated often so that safety procedures are second nature.  So talk to your child and make sure they are armed with the tools they need.

For more tips for child safety, watch this video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jY1wj2J4fo&t=106s

But until next time, parents, you got this. I am just here to help.

---------------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

123: How To Encourage Leadership In Children

How To Encourage Leadership In Children with Danielle Cobo gives tips for parents to do at home to foster leadership and grow the next generation of leaders!

 

How To Encourage Leadership In Children Links in Episode 👇

• More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com
• Behavior Management Program at https://theimpactfulparent.com/behaviormanagement
• More from Danielle Cobo at http://daniellecobo.com

--------------------------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter  so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST  and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website  of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

----------------------------

Transcript for How To Encourage Leadership In Children:

Kristina: Today’s episode talks about how parents can foster leadership in their children. Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I'm the founder of The Impactful Parent. Today’s guest, Danielle Cobo, is a leadership coach with over 14 years of experience leading fortune 500 companies. Thank you for being here, Danielle.

Danielle: Thank you. It's an honor to be on today's show. I appreciate it.

Kristina: I'm going to start off with why parents need to know about emotional intelligence because that's really what we're going to be talking about today: emotional intelligence and how that fosters leadership.

[caption id="attachment_4295" align="alignright" width="300"] Fostering Leadership: How to encourage leadership in children[/caption]

Danielle:  Great question.  Studies say that kids with high emotional intelligence (or even adults with high emotional intelligence) tend to succeed more in life than those who don't have a high EQ.  When you're able to be aware of your emotions and manage them, that's when you get to really show up as a leader in life.

Kristina:  Define emotional intelligence, please.

Danielle:  Having a high level of emotional intelligence is understanding your emotions. What your emotions are, as well as what your triggers are. Everyone has triggers. Triggers are something that sparks anxiety or frustration, or impatience. When you can identify what the emotion is and what the triggers are, you can support yourself in managing those emotions.  There are different levels of emotional intelligence.

Kristina: Emotional intelligence is useful for many different parts of life. I have a behavior management program where the essence of the program is teaching parents how to teach their children emotional intelligence. In the program, participants learn how to identify triggers, identify feelings, and control feelings.  E.I. is great for anger and anxiety management. Now you tell us that emotional intelligence is also great for leadership skills, right?

Danielle:  Yes! It's big for leadership because when you understand different triggers, you're able to shift your mind out of chaos. With emotional intelligence, you can learn how to accomplish anything you want in life because what holds us back is a mindset. We can do a lot to shift our mindset, boost confidence, and have the confidence to lead others. In a corporate setting, vulnerability can be very powerful.  When you're able to be vulnerable, others can connect with you on a deeper level.  Connection fosters the culture within organizations. Connection is how a great leader translates his vision into reality. Leaders need to need to earn the ‘know, like, and trust’ from either team.

Kristina: Great! How can parents do that? How do parents support kids in developing this high emotional intelligence that you're talking about?

Danielle:  Great question. The first step is identifying emotions. Learn how to have an open dialogue with your kids. Ask them HOW they feel, WHERE they feel their emotions in their bodies, and HOW it affects them. Often the first response a kid has to questions is surface level. I say, always ask three times, what else? The third response is typically the core of what's causing those emotions.

[caption id="attachment_4294" align="alignleft" width="300"] Fostering Leadership: How to encourage leadership in children[/caption]

Kristina: I know parents can relate to this.  How many times do parents ask kids, “How was your day,” and the response is just, “Fine.” OR, “What did you do today?” and the response is, “nothing.” Parents need to keep probing and asking more questions to get their children to open up. Parents should be asking questions like, “ How did that make you feel, Was there something that you could have done differently? What would you change?” Those are the kinds of questions that parents need to ask to understand their child’s feelings.

Danielle:  Parents should coach kids through conflict resolution also.  If something happens at school, talk about it and possible resolution scenarios.  Anticipate three different scenarios when you're approaching this conversation. This empowers kids and gives them the tools they need to problem-solve.

Another way that we can support our kids is by acknowledging their emotions. In previous generations, parents encouraged kids not to cry, toughen up, and brush it off. This creates a wall with kids where they feel like they can't express their emotions. The consequences of not expressing emotions are mentally harmful. Kids then bottle it up. In the long term, the child has a hard time communicating and connecting with others.  Sometimes the bottled-up feelings come out as anger. Instead, provide your child with a safe space to express their emotions.  Emotions are good.

Kristina: Yes! No emotion is wrong. Validate their feelings. What else can parents do?

Danielle:  Excellent question. Parents need to shift their language. For example, change have-to, to get-to-do.

If we're constantly telling kids, “I have to go to work,” then they learn that jobs are unenjoyable and an obligation. But, if we say that we get to go to work, then the mindset on a job because something of optimism. Shift your language from what I have to do versus what I get to do. The transformation is powerful.

[caption id="attachment_4293" align="alignright" width="300"] Fostering Leadership: How to encourage leadership in children[/caption]

Another way that we can shift our language is by saying words such as support versus help. When you offer help, it almost implies that they can't do the task at hand. However, when you say, “How can I support you,” the child feels good about getting assistance. The word support empowers the child by assuming that they can do the task alone if they choose. The word support also encourages togetherness.  It says, “We can do this together as a team.”

My last suggestion is to lead with the word YES. Kids hear “no” way too often. Try to lead with yes as much as you can. Shift your language and tell them what they CAN do first.

Kristina: How we speak to our children is so influential. Parents become the inner voice of their children. Role modeling is the key. So, in essence, your child’s leadership skills begin with the parents role modeling the behaviors they want to see in their children. Leadership starts with us! Parents need to exhibit the mindset first, and the children will follow. That is how we start to cultivate awesome leaders. It doesn't really matter what age your child is. You can start implementing these quick tips today

Danielle, if people want more from you, where can they find you?

Danielle:  I have a website, www.daniellecobo.com, where I host leadership training for corporations and individuals. I love supporting our future generation of leaders!

Kristina: Until next time, you got this, parents. We are just here to help.

 

---------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

124: Let‘s Get Real LIVE: Episode 1 My Mom

Let's Get Real LIVE: Episode 1 My Mom 

Let's Get Real: Episode 1 My Mom talks about my personal experience of losing my mother and her influence on The Impactful Parent business

--------------

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING Let's Get Real Live: My Mom

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

--------------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter  so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST  and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website  of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

------------------------

Let's Get Real LIVE: Episode 1 MY MOM TRANSCRIPT:

Read this blog.  This one is different than my others.

Hi, I'm Kristina.  I'm the founder of The Impactful Parent. Every week I do live videos for you. I answer your parenting questions that you submitted throughout the week. This week, I didn't have a question. Instead, I decided to get personal, which I rarely ever do. If you've been following me for any time, you know that I give parenting advice. I help parents with school-aged kids, but I rarely talk about myself. It's like my personal brand isn't very personal.  I'm going to try to change that, starting with this live video. And I'll tell you, this is out of my comfort zone. Why? You probably think she does videos every week, and I get on camera all the time. Still, I don't really like talking about my personal life. I also want to respect my kids.  I don't want to pour their dirt out to the public. Plus, I don't like showing their faces on social media for safety reasons. And yet, I'm a parenting coach who doesn't show her four kids. It's weird.

[caption id="attachment_4312" align="alignright" width="300"] Let's Get Real Live- My Mom[/caption]

If you're still following me, I want to tell you I appreciate you. This is hard work being an entrepreneur. I quit my teaching job, which I loved, to do this. I wanted to help people on a larger scale.

Today, I want to talk about my mom. I hope I'm not going to cry. See, I lost my mom to cancer about 11 years ago. My mom never knew my last two children, who are now ages nine and 11. I was pregnant with my third when she passed away. My mom would be really proud that I started my own business and try to help people. She was the nicest lady I've ever met.

My mom was a big influence on how I parent. She was soft and gentle. She showed me that I didn't have to be a mean parent to be a good parent. I am Hispanic. My ancestors are Mexican. I come from a culture where dominance is prevalent, they spank their kids, and kids are often told to suck it up. My mom wasn't like that. I discovered that there was a different way to parent my kids.

[caption id="attachment_4313" align="alignleft" width="300"] Let's Get Real Live- My Mom[/caption]

I feel guilty for being a horrible teen to my mom. Today I understand that teens naturally have a conflict with their same-sex parents. It's instinctual. I feel guilty that my mom bugged me for no reason. I feel horrible about it to this day. And yet I know it's really not my fault. It was my hormones telling me to do that. Still, it's hard to forgive yourself when you can't tell your mom sorry. Despite that, I had a really good relationship with my mom.

I miss my mom a lot. Around Mother's Day, I always want to say something publicly about not having my mom on that special day, but I never do. It doesn't seem appropriate because I want people to enjoy their mothers. I don't want to be a downer on Mother's Day! The holidays are difficult too. Really, I miss her every single day. I have a great support system. I actually have an amazing stepmom. My dad remarried.  She is an amazing lady, and I probably don't utilize her enough. My stepmom is one of my biggest supporters of The Impactful Parent. I appreciate her a lot since I don't have my own mom here. (Ok, I’m crying, and I am about to get blubbery, so I don't want to talk anywhere.)

[caption id="attachment_4314" align="alignright" width="300"] Let's Get Real Live- My Mom[/caption]

I'm going to try to make this personal brand, Kristina Campos, founder of The Impactful Parent, more personal. You're welcome to ask me parenting questions, but also, you can ask me questions about myself. Maybe next week, I'll pick your question to answer live right here. So go ahead and DM me, or you can write me an email at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com.  Your submissions are always anonymous. I just appreciate your support. Let me know what you need because that's why I do this. It makes me feel good. So let's grow, amazing children. Thanks, everybody.

-----------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

122: Redesigning Life Post Covid

Redesigning Life Post-Covid with Bette Fetter gives tips for starting a business and taking risks to change your life for the better. 

 

Redesigning Life Post-Covid. Links in Episode 👇

More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com
Dali Rivera at https://dalitalks.com

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter  so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
Subscribe to the PODCAST  and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
Check out the official website  of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

------------------

Transcript for Redesigning Your Life Post- Covid

Kristina: Welcome impactful parent! Today’s episode is all about redesigning your life, taking risks, and doing new things to make life better post-COVID. I have a special guest, Betty Fetter. She is the founder and CEO of Young Rembrandts, an author, and today she will share her story of starting a home-based business while raising four young kids. Bette is encouraging us to consider redesigning our lives so we are even better than before! Thank you for being here, Betty.

Betty: Thank you. I'm so happy to be here, Kristina.

Kristina: Please tell us your story, Betty. How did Young Rembrandts come about?

Betty: There were times it was so busy and so overwhelming. I have a degree in studio art. I had no plan to ever start a business or write a book. I married my high school sweetheart. We’ve been married for 45 years now. We had kids, and I ended up working at a Montessori school. Then one day, a friend of mine asked me to give her kids art lessons. I said no. She persisted. Before I knew it, I was making $34 a week giving art lessons to kids. (laughing) It was hardly any money, but I enjoyed it.  

All the while, my children were on the top of my mind.  I wanted to spend more time with them. I kept thinking, how do I arrange life around my kids instead of work? It was just this seed in my brain; meanwhile, I turned my afterschool art lessons into Young Rembrandts.

After a few years, my business was big enough that my husband left his corporate sales job to join me. Then for 13 years, we ran Young Rembrandts together as a home-based family business. It was wonderful.  It gave me the best of both worlds, family, and business, just like I wanted.

[caption id="attachment_4275" align="alignright" width="300"] Redesigning Life Post-Covid[/caption]

Kristina: Wow.  I started my business much the same way! I wanted to get out of the teaching profession because I spent too much time teaching and putting my focus outside of my home. I came to a point where I needed to stop taking care of everybody else's kids and focus on my own. That's how The Impactful Parent was born. Like you, I never would have thought that is where life would lead me! I didn’t have a degree in business. I had to go back to school and get my Masters. I needed the life shift. I wanted something better for myself and my kids.

Transition is scary, though. It is terrifying, actually. What's the best advice you could give to somebody thinking about spreading their wings, going outside of their comfort zone, and starting something new?

Betty: I think there's so much wisdom available. I went back and got my business degree in my 50s. My art degree was so much more fun, but you got to do what's necessary, right Kristina. If you need additional training, you go get training. Watch 200 hours of YouTube about how to do something. It's incredible what is available now.

Start with an idea. Nurture it. Let it grow. Be aware of what your family needs. My business kept growing, and I decided to franchise because that was the best move for my business AND my family.  What the heck did I know about franchising? We found a franchise lawyer, went to franchise training and got educated in areas I needed to know about.  Let your idea grow with you. None of this happens overnight.  It takes years. Along the way, get the training you need to keep growing.

Kristina: How did you know when you and your family were ready?

Betty: It was important for me to be extremely present for my children. I'm was very involved. I'm sure many moms who listen to The Impactful Parent are very involved with their kids too. My husband and I had conversations about what we wanted our lives to look like. Every new opportunity that came our way, we questioned, Is this going to enhance our plan or is it going to compromise it?  We analyzed a lot. We were also open to allowing it to evolve. I also had to learn to be OK with saying NO sometimes too.

Kristina: It's okay to say no! So many moms have trouble with that word. They cannot say no. When you're trying to create something new for your family, and you're still saying yes to everything on the outside of your family, that's really going to pose some problems. New projects are all-consuming. Saying no is one of the things I learned to do in my growth process.

[caption id="attachment_4274" align="alignright" width="300"] Redesigning Life Post-Covid[/caption]

Bette: Many women also shortchange themselves. They take on too much because they think they can handle it. You're not meant to carry it all.

Kristina: Can you give us some tips to consider as we're heading into our post COVID life?

Bette: I love all the different topics that you cover on The Impactful parent, Kristina. Parenting is a multi-dimensional project.  Post-COVID gives us a new chance to evaluate differently. Work is different.  Why not take some of that change for yourself?

Kristina: This does feel like the time for a change. If you are listening to this and thinking about making a shift in your life, do it.  I understand it's really scary, but Betty is spot on. This is the time.

Bette: First, I would ask myself, What's your ideal scene? What vision do I have for myself and my family? Maybe you want to work from home now?  Maybe you want a new career? Do you want more time with your family? Do you want to be your own boss? Don’t forget to ask yourself, What do I want for ME?

[caption id="attachment_4272" align="alignleft" width="300"] Redesigning Life Post-Covid[/caption]

Kristina: What do I need? Whoo, that's a tough question for so many parents!  To put this into perspective, though, Bette isn’t telling you to put yourself above your family's needs, but instead to also make your needs a priority.  You are an important family member too.

Bette: Yes!  Then brew on your vision. Keep it close to your heart. You want to feed it. You want to pull the dream out, think about it, and consider how to put your vision in motion. Start reading and studying. If you are faithful, ask for God's blessing on it. Be prepared to keep it secret for a while so that no one will steal your ideas.  When you’re ready to announce your new endeavor, be prepared to have others look at you like you’re crazy. That’s ok.  Don’t expect others to understand it. Find an accountability partner and a team of trusted people to cheer you on.  Once you start embracing your dream, you'll start to notice things shifting.

Kristina: I agree. I couldn’t just dip my toe in the water and test it out.  I had to embrace the vision and really step into making it happen to start seeing change. I feel like you have to dive in.

Bette:  That’s right.  Just dipping your toe in, you are still radiating doubt.  The universe won’t deliver until you’re truly ready. 

Kristina: Tell me more about Young Rembrandts and how people can reach you.

Bette: Young Rembrandts is an after-school program. We teach drawing classes to kids, both online and in person. I wrote a book called Being Visual too. It talks about learning styles, how artistic kids think differently and learn differently in school.  I have a blog at bettyfetter.com. Lastly, if you are thinking about starting your own business but don’t want to start from scratch, Young Rembrandts has franchises. Check those out.

Kristina: Thank you so much for talking with The Impactful Parent community today, Betty. Until next time, parents. You got this. We're just here to help.

----------------------------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann

121: All Things Bullying

All Things Bullying with Dali Rivera gives tips to parents for what to do if your child is bullied, if your child is the bully, and bully prevention. 

 

All Things Bullying Links in Episode 👇

• More from The Impactful Parent https://theimpactfulparent.com
• Dali Rivera at https://dalitalks.com

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link is here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina! Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

---------------------------------

Transcript for All Things Bullying: 

All Things Bullying:

Kristina: Today, we're talking all things BULLYING! Hello. My name is Kristina Campos. I'm the founder of The Impactful Parent. I help parents of school-aged children turn their chaos into connection with their adolescents. I offer free parent education videos every week, I have online courses, and I do some coaching. Still, if that wasn't enough, I bring experts in other fields onto The Impactful Parent stage to teach you even more. Today I have a very special guest, Dali Rivera. Dali teaches kids and parents about bullying awareness. She does whatever she can to prevent kids from being bullied altogether. I'm excited to have her today. Thank you for being here, Dali.

Dali: I'm excited to be here and have this conversation with you.

Kristina: What is the difference between bullying and teasing?

Dali:  That's a great question. Bullying is when unwanted, aggressive behavior is done to you. It can be spoken word or physical action. Also, there's a power imbalance. That means that somebody of authority or feels like they're more popular or maybe have more control over you uses that against you. Bullying is also consistent or has the potential to be ongoing. Bullying is also about the receiver.

Teasing is different. Teasing happens mostly among friends. Teasing is not meant to cause ill feelings or for you to feel distressed.

Kristina: I want to reiterate two things that you said are that big differentiator between teasing and bullying. One is, it's really about the receiving end and how that person is receiving the message, whether it's a tease or bully. The second thing is, who is doing the bullying, a friend or an acquaintance. That can be a gray area, especially for kids that attend small schools.

How do I explain bullying to a young child?

[caption id="attachment_4257" align="alignright" width="300"] All Things Bullying[/caption]

Dali: Start with books.  Many books give examples of stories. If you have a story of your own of bullying, then share that story because kids will remember it.  Describe to kids what it feels like too.  Say something like, “I felt really unsafe. , I felt like I had to hide from that person.”

Kristina: What are the different types of bullying?

Dali: There are four main types of bullying. Physical, social, verbal, and cyber; however, there's more than that. These are just the main types.  It is also emotional, physical, sexual, financial bullying, and the list goes on. 

I'm going to break them down very quickly. Physical bullying is the one most people think of when you say bullying.  It can be pulling hair, damaging clothing, stealing money, damaging personal property, spitting, slapping, hitting, punching, or even blocking you from an entryway.

Social bullying is difficult to point out and see clearly. It can be spreading rumors, excluding someone, or damaging a reputation. Exclusion is the most popular form of this kind of bullying. 

Verbal bullying is usually insults but not always.  Sometimes it's unspoken mannerisms.  For example, passive-aggressiveness, like ignoring someone and pretending they don’t exist or are not there. It can also be belittling talk or put-downs.

Cyberbullying is being mean online or over internet apps.  Things like catfishing, cyber-stalking, and doing anything I previously mentioned online- can still be cyberbullying.  There is a lot of a grey area, which is why law enforcement has difficulty enforcing violations.

Kristina: Could your friend bully you?

Dali: Absolutely. That is one of the reasons why so many kids do not report bullying. Kids are like, “Because that’s my friend.” One of the things that I like to teach is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. I tell kids, a friend is somebody who doesn't make you feel bad. A friend doesn't insult you. Friends cheer you on. When you fall down, friends help you get back up. Friends don't laugh at you because you've fallen. If someone is making you feel bad, they are not a friend. Also, your friend is a person you feel comfortable with. Acquaintances stay in the classroom. Usually, kids get it when I explain it that way.

Kristina: I know from being a parenting coach that kids will befriend the bully because it's easier to join them than to be against them. It is a way of protecting themselves.  Parents don’t understand it.  They think, “Why are you friends with that person?”  So what advice can you give parents who see their children become a part of the bully group because if you can’t beat them, then join them?

[caption id="attachment_4256" align="alignleft" width="300"] All Things Bullying[/caption]

Dali: These kids are going into survival mode. They are doing what they feel is necessary to stay safe. The number one way to combat bullying is to build up your child's confidence. There are lots of small things that you can do at home to build up your child's confidence. Role modeling is what I recommend first. This is important because if your child sees you taking crap from somebody, they're not going to defend themselves either.  Kids will also not have the confidence in the parent’s strength to stand up for the child.  If you can’t stand up for yourself, then they don’t think you’ll stand up for them either

Another thing you can do to build self-confidence in your child is, give them small challenges to succeed.  Build their confidence with small tasks that take them just a little bit out of their comfort zone and give them the confidence to succeed.

Encourage your child to use their voice and speak to safe adults.  Public speaking roles are good too for self-confidence building.  Roleplaying helps kids get ready for things they don’t feel secure about.  The roleplaying gets them ready. 

Kristina: I am a big fan of roleplaying with children and even high schoolers.  Have your child rehearse in their mind; what are you going to do? I tell the teens I work with to do this before they leave the house to a party.  Know what you are going to do before you walk out the door.  Roleplay peer pressures in your head and what you will say and do.   Roleplay prepares your child and gives them the confidence they need to do what they want to do when the social pressures are in front of them.

Dali: There are many ways to boost your child's confidence! Consider sports, art classes, singing classes, or anything that demonstrates that your child can do something they thought they could not do.

Kristina: What if your child is the bully? What does a parent do then? What are some of the signs that your child is the one that is the bully?

Dali: I am always happy when parents ask me this because there is a notion that the parents of the bullies don't care. Some people think that the parents of the bully are in denial. Sometimes it's just that they don't know how to deal with what’s happening.

Let’s first talk about the signs that your child is a bully. If your child is exhibiting bullying behaviors, you might notice how others react weirdly around your child. For example, suppose you volunteer in the classroom, and you notice nobody really wants to hang out with your child or that your child has a nickname. Also, consider what kind of friends your child is hanging out with.  Are these kids constantly at the principal's office? Is your child aggressive?

There is also a misconception that bullies are insecure about themselves, and that’s why they are aggressive towards others.  This isn’t necessarily true. Some bullies are very confident kids. In fact, some kids are so confident they are arrogant. It is important to teach these kids humility.

Kristina: I have seen this before too. The bully is so smart that they just don’t like tolerating others.

Dali: If your child is physically hurting others, it is important to teach your child empathy. It is important to show children that their actions impact others.

[caption id="attachment_4255" align="alignright" width="300"] All Things Bullying[/caption]

Lastly, tell your child that you love them regardless of what they have done. They need to know that your love is not conditional. Kids need to know that their parents love them even through their mistakes.  Also, tell your child that their mistakes do not define who they are. Always include your child in the solution of the problem. When you include them in the solution, you show them that you value their opinion. They can then take accountability to fix what was wronged. I also try to avoid the word punishment. Instead, your child needs corrective action.  

Kristina: When your child is the victim, should you confront the parents of the bully?

Dali: It depends on the situation. Some parents can't control themselves. Most parents want to protect their children and will fight themselves if they get too emotional.  This is why schools have individualized meetings. Having said this, I have had very amicable meetings with the parents.  You will have to be the judge and use your best judgment.

Kristina: What if my child is the victim? What are my first steps for helping my child?

Dali: Document what is happening. Things turn into he said, she said argument very quickly.  You want to keep track of what is happening, when, where, and with whom.  Don’t leave the incident to the word of mouth and one kid's word against the other. Think of it as a legal case. A judge will not hear hearsay. They want evidence. Keep a journal.  

I also recommend that you suggest an action for correcting what has happened. Give a solution. Don’t just present the problem.

Kristina: You are a great resource, Dali.  Where can people find you if they need your help?

Dali: You can find me at dalitalks.com.  I do one-on-one coaching, and I have a lot of recorded courses that parents can enjoy in their own leisure. You can book a free 30-minute call to see if working together is a good fit.

Kristina:  Thank you, Dali.  Parents, you got this.  We are just here to help.

-------------------------

It takes a lot to run a business and family! Here are a few products I recommend:

Gabb Wireless: The BEST first phone for your child! 

• No internet, no social media, and NO WORRIES! This phone has GPS tracking and other features that parents want to have peace of mind about their child having a phone. The Gabb Wireless phone has the sleek look of a smartphone that kids love without worry and high price.  To find out more and order your phone (or watch) go to: gabbwireless.com/promo/IMPACTFULPARENT30

The Contract Shop

• Protect your contact and your business with the Contract Shop. The Contract Shop provides DIY legal contracts that you customize for your business and your business needs.  Contracts are important and legal documents are boring!  The Contract Shop provides the security you need without the big price tags of an expensive law firm. Try it out today and please use my affiliate link for referring you because I get a small kickback for recommending The Contract Shop products.  Here is your link: https://thecontractshop.com?ref=kristinacampos

Mobile Monkey

• Mobile Monkey helps you gain more engagement in your social media posts by providing you with a ROBOT to client questions in your DM. This bot is genius and saves so much time!  Use your robot to respond to common questions, to create keywords your audience can type in order to receive special links, get analytics, auto-responses and so much MORE!  Mobile Monkey should be helping every content creator’s business because at this low price- there are no excuses for getting more time, ease in your business, and increased engagement!  Please use my affiliate link to order: https://app.mobilemonkey.com/instachamp?a_aid=kristinaann