Parenting Stories, Struggles and Strategies for Moms and Dads of School-aged Children, Teenagers, and Impactful Parents

147: Sex After Kids (A Clubhouse Replay)

Sex After Kids 

Today’s podcast is a clubhouse replay.  Clubhouse is a free app you can download on any apple or android device.  On the Clubhouse App, I host rooms where I talk about parenting topics. You can join me via your phone and become a part of the conversation anytime. My username on the app is Impactful Parent. For this Clubhouse episode, I was talking about SEX AFTER KIDS. I hope you enjoy this episode and next time, come join the conversation on Clubhouse.

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

145: Oppositional Defiant Disorder: Signs and Help

Oppositional Defiant Disorder: Signs and Help

Kristina Campos, the founder of The Impactful Parent, talks to parents about the signs of Oppositional Defiant Disorder In Children and how parents can help their children.

 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

Oppositional Defiant Disorder In Children

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://theimpactfulparent.passion.io/

https://apps.apple.com/app/impactful-parent/id1601274505

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.prmto733iicm.ptt70cx5app

to download the FREE Impactful Parent App. Freebies included.

-------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

---------

Transcript for Oppositional Defiant Disorder In Children

Understanding Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Welcome Impactful Parents. Today we are going to talk about Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Signs of the disorder and what you can do as a parent.

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I am the founder of the Impactful Parent. Every week I come on and answer one of your questions LIVE. If you have a question for next week, please submit it at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com or by messaging me on social media. All submissions are kept anonymous. 

Today's question from the audience is asking to understand Oppositional Defiant Disorder, so this parent (and you) can identify the symptoms and decide if their child needs to seek more help.

Thank you for submitting this question! Today I will tell you the signs of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and stick around to the end because I am giving you 10 tips for helping your child so you can be a more impactful parent. Let's get started!

Oppositional Defiant Disorder, or ODD, is when a child displays a continuing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior towards people in authority. This could be anyone in authority and doesn't always have to be a battle against parents.

So what makes Oppositional Defiant Disorder different than a child that just seems to be argumentative or doesn't want to follow the rules? For children to be diagnosed with ODD, they need to have most of the following symptoms for more than 6 months. A lot of children will go through a phase of rebellion, but children with ODD will refuse authority figures way beyond the length of "just a phase."

• It will feel like the littlest thing might set off a child with ODD.
• The ODD child has to win arguments, and they won't give in to boundaries, rules, or someone trying to control them.
• Children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder have frequent temper tantrums.
• Children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder will argue with adults intentionally. It may feel like they are just picking a fight, and they will refuse to do what adults ask.
• Children with ODD can be very challenging because they will always question the rules and refuse to follow any rules they don't perceive will serve them.
• Kids with ODD typically won't hesitate to speak harshly to their parents, teachers, police officers, or anyone in authority. These kids are also annoyed with adults in authority often and will openly look angry and resentful.

Two of the most obvious qualities differentiating a typical rebellious child against a child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder is that children with ODD will be vindictive, be spiteful, do things to annoy or upset others on purpose, and blame others for their own misbehaviors or mistakes. Children with ODD don't typically take responsibility for their actions even when the blame is obvious.

Causes of Oppositional Defiant Disorder are unknown. Sometimes it can come from the onset of a head injury or developmental factors. Other times doctors say it could be genetic, developmental, or learned. ODD is associated with absent or neglectful parenting, but children with loving and present parents can also develop this condition. Either way, the exact reasons why anyone has ODD are unknown. To make things more difficult, Oppositional Defiant Disorder often is co-occurring with other disorders such as ADHD, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, conduct disorder, and other learning disorders. It is also a misconception that Oppositional Defiant Disorder develops only in adolescents. This isn't true. ODD occurs at all ages of development and adulthood. 10.2% of all children develop ODD. Usually diagnosed at around age 8. 

Problems that come with ODD are usually:

• Poor school performance,
• Anti-social behavior,
• Substance abuse,
• Trouble building relationships,
• Poor impulse control,
• And suicide.

Parents need to educate themselves and get their children help with such detrimental repercussions. ODD is treatable. More than 65% of children with ODD see their symptoms go away in 3 years or less when kids get help.

So, what can parents do?

1. First of all, do not punish behaviors associated with ODD. It doesn't help. In fact, harsh discipline is a risk factor for developing the condition and can even make your child's condition worse. So obviously, this makes disciplining and parenting a challenge.
2. Instead, take the child to a mental health professional. Once your child is officially diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, your doctor will encourage you to go to a therapist. The therapist will likely suggest various types of help. Some may suggest parent-child interaction therapy; others will recommend individual or family therapy. Some therapists may suggest parent training, social skills training for the child, or problem-solving training for the parent and the child.
3. Praise positive behaviors and give rewards for behaviors you want to see again. Focus on the good behaviors you see your child doing. Your child needs praise and recognition for things they do well (even if you're praising them for tasks that you feel any child should automatically do.) Children with ODD are used to adults being angry, frustrated, and annoyed with them. You want to give your child the opposite reaction and focus on giving your attention when things are going well, so they don't seek your attention negatively.
4. Model the behavior you want to see. Kids don't know what they don't know. So many times, parents just tell kids, "No, or "don't do that," but don't tell the child what they SHOULD be doing. It is not natural for kids to automatically understand better behavior. Parents need to SHOW children what they want from them. It is important to replace the bad behavior with what you need them to do, instead of leaving the child hanging with only what they can't do.
5. Avoid power struggles. Pick your battles and be selective with your boundaries.
6. Create a routine and provide consistency in the child's life. This means providing consistency with rules, expectations, and consequences for their actions. These things (rules, expectations, and consequences) should be discussed when the child is in a good mood and set as a standard when things are going well. Set limits and consequences for actions before they are trouble
7. Connection is important. These kids need more love and attention than you realize. They already have plenty of adults angry and frustrated with them.
8. Make sure every adult in the kid's life is on the same page. This goes back to creating consistency. Behaviors and expectations should be universal. Collaborate with teachers, coaches, counselors, and anyone else who might be in the child's life to create a consistent standard of expected behaviors.
9. Set your child up for success on purpose. This might be giving them a chore to do around the house that really doesn't matter if it gets done or not, but is still important to the household. Then, when the child completes their chore, you now have an opportunity to praise them and focus on the positive.
10. Take care of yourself. These are not easy children to parent, and your self-care should also be a priority. If you are tired, your patients will be shorter, and your mood will be more irritable. You need to take care of yourself to take care of your child. Make sure you are sleeping, socializing with friends, and eating well. I also suggest joining a parenting support group to help you vent in a safe place and get ideas from others about what works and what doesn't work in other households.

I hope that was helpful today. My last piece of advice for parents of children with ODD is to expect their child's behavior to worsen before it gets better. These children will likely reject any change they see in you, even if the change is positive for them. They will test your patients and push your buttons to see if the change you are creating is really intentional and if you really mean it. But now that you know that the behaviors will worsen before they get better, you can anticipate that rollercoaster and prepare yourself for the ride. 

And if you have a question you want to submit for me to answer live, please do! Submit your questions by DM or email at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com. Plus- if you want to become a more Impactful Parent, check out all that my website has to offer! I have parenting courses, family coaching, a free downloadable app, and many free resources. But until next time, you got this, parents. I am just here to help.

 

144: 5 Ways To Reduce Anxiety

5 Ways To Reduce Anxiety

5 Ways To Reduce Anxiety with special guest Dr. Sandy Zanella. Dr. Zanella gives practical things that parents AND kids can do to help reduce their anxiety and calm themselves. Plus- with this episode, Dr. Zanella is giving the audience a FREE Mindful Scavenger Hunt for kids.

 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

5 Ways To Reduce Anxiety

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://theimpactfulparent.passion.io/

https://apps.apple.com/app/impactful-parent/id1601274505

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.prmto733iicm.ptt70cx5app

to download the FREE Impactful Parent App. Freebies included.

 

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

 

SUMMARY of 5 Ways To Reduce Anxiety:

Welcome impactful parents! Today, we will talk about 5 Ways To Reduce Anxiety.

[caption id="attachment_5807" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Ways To Reduce Anxiety[/caption]

Dr. Zanella gives practical things that parents AND kids can do to help reduce their anxiety and calm themselves.

Tips #1 Breathing. Dr. Zanella talks about why breathing works and HOW to breath so that it is effective. Dr. Zanella gives easy breathing techniques that anyone can do, even kids.

[caption id="attachment_5808" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Ways To Reduce Anxiety[/caption]

Tip #2- Affirmations. Dr. Zanella speaks about the importance of talking to yourself positively and how that changes the way we think over time.  Our thoughts affect our feelings and it is important to be aware of our thoughts to control feelings.

Tips #3 Yoga. Dr. Zanella gives the audience an easy pose to do in your office and sitting in your chair that will help you reduce anxiety.

[caption id="attachment_5809" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Ways To Reduce Anxiety[/caption]

Tips #4 Doodling.  Dr. Zanella talks about the science behind doodling to calm your emotions and even HOW to doodle to make the anxiety go away more effectively. 

Tip #5 Mindful Walks.  Dr. Zanella talks about the importance of connecting with nature to calm our nervous system.  She also gives the audience a FREE PDF Scavenger Hunt that kids can use to make mindful walks more fun and engaging.

 

142: How To Teach Kids Money Responsibility!

How To Teach Kids Money Responsibility!

Special guest Chris Larson gives the audience tips for teaching financial literacy to kids so that they can be money pros as adults!  This lesson is a must-see episode that parents need to watch, no matter what the age of their child!  It is never too late to start teaching money intelligence! Plus- this episode comes with 2 FREEBIES!  Let's get started!

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

How To Teach Kids Money Responsibility

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://theimpactfulparent.passion.io/

https://apps.apple.com/app/impactful-parent/id1601274505

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.prmto733iicm.ptt70cx5app

to download the FREE Impactful Parent App. Freebies included.

http://nextlevelincom.com for more from Chris Larson

 

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

 

Transcript of Recording: How To Teach Kids Money Responsibility!

Kristina: Welcome, impactful parent. Today we're going to show you how to teach your children to be money pros. Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I'm the founder of The Impactful Parent, and welcome to my Inspire and Learn series where real parents come on and tell their story of inspiration and learning; because a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from others people's mistakes. Today we're going to learn from Chris Larson. Chris is a self-made entrepreneur. He is passionate about helping families. He wants every family to get rid of the money burden and rest assured that they have prepared for the future. So he has developed a system for even teaching successful financial habits to his own children. And today, Chris is going to give us five ways to set up your kids for financial success and create lasting wealth for your family. Welcome to the stage, Chris.

[caption id="attachment_5761" align="aligncenter" width="300"] How To teach money responsibility[/caption]

Chris: Kristina, it's awesome to be here. Great to see you today.

Kristina: How will my audience relate to you, your family, and your financial success?

Chris: I wrote my book to help people take a shortcut and learn from all the mistakes I made. I love that intro because, you know, I don't consider myself a wise person. You know, I made a lot of mistakes, but I've had a lot of people help me out along the way. And unfortunately, I learned from real-life experiences. My father passed away when I was five years old. I grew up dealing with the stress of finances and cleaning up the mess after my father passed away. He died in a plane crash. He was a pilot. We went down in Lake Michigan. My mother couldn't get life insurance because they wouldn't issue a death certificate because they couldn't find his body for some time. I remember that we went on Social Security. My grandmother made my clothes for us. We ate vegetables out of cans. I got made fun of them for the clothes I wore and picked on for those things. Then my mother got remarried, and we were back on our feet for a while, but that didn’t last. I'll never forget both my parents losing their jobs when the real estate market crashed in the early 90s. I lost my internship coming out of college because of the tech crash of the late 90s early 2000s. And then, I watched my real estate portfolio drop in 2008 and 2009.

If you are going through these challenges, what I can tell you is there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and you can come out through the other side. But I think the most important thing to focus on when we're in stressful times is the fundamentals, especially when it comes to money. I realize many people struggle with how to convey good money sense and practices to their kids.  So, that's what I'd love to talk about today. You can do five easy things to set your kids up for a lifetime of financial success.

Kristina: What is your tip number one?

Chris: Start having conversations about money and get your kids a bank account. Show them what money is used for. Talk about how much groceries cost. You don't have to talk about how much you make. You don't have to talk about how much money you have in your retirement accounts or your house costs, but show them what money is used for. And again, start a bank account. If you haven't done this yet, go to your local bank and set up what's called a custodian account for your child.

[caption id="attachment_5760" align="aligncenter" width="300"] How To teach money responsibility[/caption]

Kristina: I love the suggestion of taking the kids to the bank with you. What's your second tip?

Chris: I actually pay my children a salary. I don’t call it an allowance. It is a salary, and my kids get $1 a day. Now here's the thing, they don't always get their dollar.  If my son leaves the lights on, he's wasting resources. Maybe he leaves the door open or doesn't pick up his clothes or do his laundry, then he may not get his dollar, or he may get money deducted from this account. Basically, if he does his chores and is respectful, he gets his money, but just like any other “job,” he doesn't get paid if he doesn’t show up.  If your child is disrespectful, they may get a deduction.

I also have my child keep track of their account balance with a ledger. He writes down what money comes in and what money goes out.  He also uses that money to buy things for himself.

Kristina: I love the idea of having kids earn money and keep track of it.  These are great skills. What else do you have for us? I love these suggestions.

Chris: Tip number three is to teach them about investment and the importance of saving. Teach them that they can be disciplined before spending. Require your children to save 10-50 % of their earnings. For the older child with a job, start a Roth IRA. A Roth IRA has a lot of flexibility and is very similar to a custodian account.

Kristina: Smart. Saving and investing are important! And what do you have for tip number four?

Chris: Now we are getting into a little bit more advanced strategies. My next tip is to start a business. Start a lemonade stand, shovel driveways, mow lawns, or whatever your child wants to do. Starting a simple business with them will teach them money control, managing expenses, talking to people, marketing, and so many other great skills. Nothing has to be complicated.

[caption id="attachment_5759" align="aligncenter" width="300"] How To teach money responsibility[/caption]

Kristina: That's my favorite suggestion yet. Entrenpeur skills are a great thing to teach your child. Plus, the quality time you'll get when you sit down with your kids and help is awesome.  Kids can do so much!  They can make bracelets for their friends. They can bake cookies. The possibilities for a business are endless.

Chris: And tip number five might be a little bit controversial. Teach children the true cost of college. There are a lot of studies out there that say you're better off if you go to college. You're going to make a million dollars more than if you didn't go to college. We have to remember that these studies are done on people going to college 40-50 years ago. College is a lot more expensive right now. I'm not saying to discourage your child from going to college. Children need to understand the return on investment from going to college. So this is what I mean.

Suppose I took $100,000 of college tuition and instead invested that money at 10%. Would it be worth more than a million dollars throughout their lifetime? College may or may not be the best choice for everybody, depending on their career path. Make sure you evaluate all these things, and there are many resources out there to help parents do this now.

Kristina: And your 5 tips are not all!  You have two freebies for my audience today.  The first is a cheat sheet PDF that summarizes the 5 steps.  The second freebie is your e-book! Thank you for these great resources.  Audience members can get those FREE by downloading The Impactful Parent App and finding those resources attached to this video. Go to theimpactfulparent.com and download the FREE APP today!

And if people want your assistance and want to reach out to you, how would they do that?

Chris: I am at www.nextlevelincome.com. Please reach out or email me!  I am here to help.

Kristina: Thank you so much, Chris. I really appreciate you being here. And if you have an inspiring story and want to share your story with the audience so that others can learn from you, go to https://theimpactfulparent.com/work-with-me  and sign up!

 And if you want to become a more impactful parent, check out all that my website has to offer. I have parenting courses, family coaching, a free downloadable app, and many free resources. But until next time, you got this, parents. I'm just here to help.

 

143: Is My Child Hoarding?

Is my child Hoarding?  If you are concerned that your child's collections are getting out of hand, then this episode is for YOU! Kristina, the founder of The Impactful Parent, talks about the signs of hoarding, why your child might be hoarding, and 5 things parents can do today to help their child.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

Is my child Hoarding?

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://theimpactfulparent.passion.io/

https://apps.apple.com/app/impactful-parent/id1601274505

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.prmto733iicm.ptt70cx5app

to download the FREE Impactful Parent App. Freebies included.

 

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

 

Transcript for Is My Child Hoarding?

Welcome Impactful Parents. Today we are going to talk about hoarding in your school-aged child.

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I am the founder of the Impactful Parent. Every week I come on and answer one of your questions LIVE. If you have a question for next week, please submit it at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com or by messaging me on social media. All submissions are kept anonymous.

[caption id="attachment_5780" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Is My Child Hoarding?[/caption]

Today’s question reads: I have concerns that my child might be becoming a hoarder? He won’t let me throw anything away and seems to be collecting more junk every single day. Why is my child doing this?

Thank you for submitting this question! Today I will tell you the signs of hoarding, why your child might be hoarding, and stick around to the end because I am giving you 5 tips for WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING RIGHT NOW to be a more impactful parent. Let’s get started!

It is normal for children to have a messy room or collect things. But your child shouldn’t get hysterical if you throw away old pizza boxes or socks with holes. Is your child extremely attached to things that seem worthless? Are they collecting what seems like random objects, and it’s getting out of control? Or are they very upset by even the idea of getting rid of things they don’t use and don’t seem to have value to you- then your child might be developing a mental illness called hoarding.

Hoarding is sometimes seen in kids as young as 6 years old. Kids who hoard have persistent difficulties letting go of items. They will fill up their rooms with what seems like junk, even to the point where normal functioning in the room is difficult. Children who hoard will develop extreme anxiety about losing their possessions. If their parent tries to clean up or throw away their “trash,” these kids may throw a tantrum, cry uncontrollably, or even become violent.

Sometimes, children who hoard don’t understand why they are doing it. This is different from other children who will be proud to show off their collections. However, hoarders will acquire compulsively, save everything, may even be embarrassed to show people their collections, and their items may feel unorganized to an outsider looking at their stuff. The items your child is collecting might seem “useless” or even “trash.” They may not have space in their room for the items they are collecting, but it doesn’t matter to the child. And kids that hoard tend to pick up and pocket things they see on the street like coins, sticks, rocks, pinecones, etc.

[caption id="attachment_5781" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Is My Child Hoarding?[/caption]

Why would your child be doing this? Well, hoarders have a different pattern of thought. They could be hoarding because they fear something bad will happen if they throw their collectibles away. They may feel a sense of security and comfort by having their collection. Some kids feel a strong sense of “It is important not to waste,” so they keep their items. Other kids will associate their items with memory and feel that the memory will be gone if they throw the item away. They may say something like, “This rock reminds me of the time you took me to play basketball.” They feel like throwing the rock away will also throw away the memory. Some children who hoard believe that their items have feelings. They feel guilty if they discard the items away. For example, you may hear a child say, “I can’t put my rock in the closet. My rock might get scared of the dark or feel alone.”  To them, their possessions are like loved ones. They don’t see their stuff any different than a family pet or even a sibling.

Most children who develop hoarding at a young age (before adolescence) also have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Hoarding is related to OCD, but unlike OCD, kids are not hoarding to relieve anxiety. Hoarders collect because they think the item is cool, unique, they really want it, or they feel it could help them somehow. Anxiety only onsets when someone tries to get rid of their items or touches them without permission. For more information on OCD, you can watch my video on Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

[caption id="attachment_5782" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Is My Child Hoarding?[/caption]

So what should you do if you have a child who is hoarding? Well, just as important as what you should do, let’s first talk about what you should NOT do.

1. Parents should NOT just clean up or throw away the child’s possessions. Why? The only thing this does is put a lot of stress on the child, making the problem worse. Your child will see you as a threat and not their ally. They will distrust you and become even more attached to their items. Even worse, children who don’t trust their parents will likely refuse their help in the future, and this means they won’t want to get professional help either. To get your child to stop hoarding, parents must treat the underlying issues and not just force change by taking matters into their own hands.
2. It is also important for parents not to cast judgment openly upon their children. You may think that their possession and obsessions are ridiculous, but you can’t show this to your child. Watch what kind of language you use to talk about their items. Don’t devalue their possessions, touch them without permission, or threaten to take away their stuff.

What can parents do?

1. Get your child officially diagnosed by a doctor and find a children’s therapist. Your therapist will likely work with your child through cognitive behavior therapy and exposure therapy. This entails working with how your child is thinking and, little by little, asking your child to practice letting go of their cherished items. Kids will also learn how to manage the anxiety during their “letting go” process.
2. Also, empathize with your child’s feelings. Encourage them to let go by rewarding behaviors you want to see and any child's efforts to let go of their items. Be your child’s biggest fan because you don’t want a ME versus YOU scenario in your home. Instead, you want to create a home culture of US against the PROBLEM.
3. And lastly, ask your child's permission before you throw out their possessions or move them around.

 

And if you have a question you want to submit for me to answer live, please do! Submit your questions by DM or email at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com. Plus- if you want to become a more Impactful Parent, check out all that my website has to offer! I have parenting courses, family coaching, a free downloadable app, and many free resources. But until next time, you got this, parents. I am just here to help.

 

140: Marijuana And The Adolescent Brain: This isn’t the weed we grew up with!

Marijuana And The Adolescent Brain with special guest Laura Stack. Laura tells her personal story of losing her son to marijuana addiction and suicide. Laura also speaks about the dangers of the NEW MARIJUANA of today's cannabis industry and how it affects the adolescent brain. Laura has a powerful message for ALL parents and teens and she hopes to educate the world on the dangers of the new marijuana of today.

 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

Marijuana And The Adolescent Brain

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://theimpactfulparent.passion.io/

https://apps.apple.com/app/impactful-parent/id1601274505

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.prmto733iicm.ptt70cx5app

to download the FREE Impactful Parent App. Freebies included.

https://johnnysambassadors.org for more from Laura

 

Summary of the podcast: 

Marijuana And The Adolescent Brain with special guest Laura Stack.

Laura tells her personal story of losing her son to marijuana addiction and suicide. Laura talks about the decline in her son's health and how his marijuana addiction threw him into a depression and even caused him to become psychotic. Laura goes into detail how her son changed over time and gives the audience warning signs and symptoms of marijuana addiction. 

Laura also speaks about the dangers of the NEW MARIJUANA of today's cannabis industry and how it affects the adolescent brain. She gives statistics of adolescent marijuana abuse in the United States and describes in detail how the weed of today is NOT what parents grew up with. 

Lastly, Laura gives advice to the parents of teens for prevention and action steps that parents can do to help teenagers who might already be using marijuana.

Laura has a powerful message for ALL parents and teens and she hopes to educate the world on the dangers of the new marijuana of today.

--------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

141: OCD: Signs and 10 Ways To Help

OCD: Signs and 10 Ways To Help

Does my child have OCD? How will I know and how can I help my child? Kristina Campos, the founder of The Impactful Parent, talks to parents about the signs of OCD, causes of OCD, and gives 10 tips for supporting kids with obsessive-compulsive disorder.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

OCD: Signs and 10 Ways To Help

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://theimpactfulparent.passion.io/

https://apps.apple.com/app/impactful-parent/id1601274505

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.prmto733iicm.ptt70cx5app

to download the FREE Impactful Parent App. Freebies included.

 

Transcript for OCD: Signs and 10 Ways To Help

Welcome Impactful Parents. Today, we will talk about Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in your school-aged child.

[caption id="attachment_5729" align="alignleft" width="300"] Does my child have OCD?[/caption]

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I am the founder of the Impactful Parent. Every week I come on and answer one of your questions LIVE. If you have a question for next week, please submit it at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com or by messaging me on social media. All submissions are kept anonymous. 

Today's question reads: I think my child has OCD. How can I tell if she does and if so, how can I help my child develop more habits that are causing time and distress?

Thank you for submitting this question! Today we will talk about OCD, what it looks like in our children, and how we can support our kids that have this disorder- and stick around to the end because I am giving you 10 tips for helping your child so you can be a more impactful parent. Let's get started!

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, or OCD for short, is a mental health disorder when a person gets caught in a cycle of obsessive and compulsive habits. Your child might exhibit recurrent thoughts, persistent urges, and impulsive behaviors. These behaviors and thoughts might be intrusive and unwanted, plus you might be seeing your child with increased anxiety and distress.

OCD Compulsions are the repetitive behaviors you might see as a parent. This might look like hand washing all the time, touching items in unusual ways, arranging things over and over, repeating words, phrases, or questions over and over, having trouble making choices, and having trouble doing a simple task that they should be able to do like getting dressed, and counting items obsessively, and checking if things are OK repeatedly. 

If any of this sounds familiar, your child might have OCD. 

Why would children develop Obsessive-Compulsive Symptoms? The causes of OCD are actually unknown, but we doctors know that OCD is a way of coping with stress, anxiety, and trauma. Compulsions are behaviors a child will do, trying to feel better. To the child, rituals are comforting and relieve stress. Compulsions are a way to keep bad things from happening and reduces their anxiety or distress. Just keep in mind that these compulsions are not voluntary. The actions and thoughts these kids are having are involuntary. They can't control it. And keep in mind that compulsions, more often than not, are a result of certain obsessions, so let's talk about that now.

OCD Obsessions: are what the child seems to be obsessed about. Parents may see their children obsessed with certain fears/worries. What does this look like in the home? Well, it could look like your child being overly upset about germs, dirt, and feelings of needing things clean. It could look like your child needs to have control of the situation or their environment. Some kids show obsessions with needing order and predictability. Other kids will get extensively worried about someone they love getting sick, hurt, or dying. Obsessions vary per person; therefore, OCD also looks different in every person. This is why it may be difficult to self-diagnose OCD without a medical professional. Overall, no matter what your child's obsession might be, kids with OCD will seem anxious, worried, irritable, easily frustrated, easily saddened, upset when they can't do a ritual, and will often seek constant reassurance from a parent that things are OK. These feelings, obsessions, and compulsions are exhausting for the child and the family.

[caption id="attachment_5728" align="alignright" width="300"] Does my child have OCD?[/caption]

Again, the causes for OCD are unknown; however, doctors have narrowed down the probability of why someone might get OCD down to 4 reasons:

1. Biology: There could be a problem with the person's brain communicating correct information to other parts of the brain.
2. Genetics: OCD runs in families
3. Learned Experiences: This means that the person had a painful childhood experience, trauma, abuse, or was bullied, and those experiences created the OCD as a coping tool. The OCD is a way for the child to feel more in control and assured that the traumatic experience won't be repeated.
4. And lastly, OCD could be a result of Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal infections.

Either way, statistics show that 1 in every 40 adults and 1 in every 100 children in the United States have OCD.

What can parents do if they think their child has OCD? How can you support an OCD child? Here are 6 suggestions.

1. First, be sure not to self-diagnose OCD. Take your child to a medical professional to clarify whether or not you are actually dealing with OCD.
2. Become educated about OCD and what this conditional entails. Talk with your doctor about possible medications that could help lower your child's anxiety and if that kind of help is appropriate for your family's situation.
3. Get your child into therapy. Cognitive Behavior Therapy is the most popular talk therapy used to treat OCD obsessions and compulsions.
4. Teach your child other coping skills, relaxation techniques, and stress management strategies.
5. Encourage and help your child get good sleep and live a healthy lifestyle. Diet, sleep patterns, stress management, self-care, and other healthy living strategies can affect how your child perceives the world and how well they can manage their anxiety. These skills are not intuitive. Parents need to lead a healthy living example and teach their children healthy living options.
6. Understand that some kids may not let their parents know about their fears and causes of their OCD. Some children will only feel confused or ashamed about their fears. These kids may keep their trauma to themselves. They may also hide their OCD and compulsions. These kids still need their parent's help and support, and it will be even more important for these children to get a therapist to talk to. [caption id="attachment_5726" align="alignleft" width="300"] Does my child have OCD?[/caption]
7. Parents can help children with OCD by making their children's lives as predictable as possible. Predictability reduces anxiety and fears of the unknown. The best way parents can create predictability is to provide their children with a regular, consistent, and strong routine.
8. Talk to your children about their OCD and don't accommodate everything around their illness. Give them encouragement and reassurance that many kids need to feel safe, but giving in to unreasonable demands may also be a disservice. Talk to a health care professional about where the boundaries for help versus enabling might be for your family.
9. Find support groups in your area for OCD. Support groups for parents and their children are available.
10. Discover more from the OCD Foundation. You can find out more about OCD and this organization online at https://iocdf.org/. This website can be a great resource for families!

Thank you for watching this video today. 

If you have a question you want to submit for me to answer live, please do! Submit your questions by DM or email at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com. Plus- if you want to become a more Impactful Parent, check out all that my website has to offer! I have parenting courses, family coaching, a free downloadable app, and lots of free resources. But until next time, you got this, parents. I am just here to help.

 

What To Do Next:

• What to do next:2.     Follow The Impactful Parent on social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest4.     Check out the official website  of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out! Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 
• 5.     Discover how you can work with Kristina!   Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!
• 3.     Subscribe to the PODCAST  
• 1.     Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot!  Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).

139: Using The Enneagram For Better Parenting

Using The Enneagram for Better Parenting with guest Erin Baute talks about how the enneagram can be a useful tool for personal development as a parent AND help parents identify the needs of their children also. In turn, the enneagram can help parents fill the needs of their children better also.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

Using The Enneagram For Better Parenting

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://theimpactfulparent.passion.io/

https://apps.apple.com/app/impactful-parent/id1601274505

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.prmto733iicm.ptt70cx5app

to download the FREE Impactful Parent App. Freebies included.

www.livingtheenneagram.com for more from Erin

----------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

--------------

Transcript of Using The Enneagram For Better Parenting:

Kristina: Welcome, The Impactful Parent. Today, we will talk about the Enneagram and how it can illuminate our ability to emotionally regulate ourselves and our kids. Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I'm the founder of The Impactful Parent. Welcome to my Inspire and Learn series, where real parents come on and tell their stories of inspiration and learning because a wise man learns from his mistakes. Still, a wiser man learns from other people's mistakes. Today, we're going to learn from our guest speaker,  Erin Baute. Erin is a development coach who uses the Enneagram model for personality to guide her clients to greatness and help them reach their full potential. So I'm really excited to have her on today and learn all about this. Thank you for being here, Erin.

Erin: Thanks for having me.

Kristina: Let’s start off with, What is an Enneagram, and how did you get into this work?

[caption id="attachment_5590" align="alignright" width="300"] Using The Enneagram for Better Parenting[/caption]

Erin: That's a really great question. When I started working with the Enneagram, people were confused. The enneagram is a model of personality. It's an archetypal behavioral model. It is like Myers-Briggs or the DISC assessment or Strength Finders. I really fell in love with the Enneagram when I came across it because it went deeper than just categorizing behavior. It helped illuminate motivation and the why behind it, and we can work a lot more with folks and meet them where they are when we understand why, not just what we do. I'm a behaviorist by trade. I've been working in behavior change for about 20 years. And the Enneagram was one tool that found its way in my path, and I just fell in love with it. It helped sort of expedite the shifting process in a way I hadn't seen before.

Kristina Kristina: Tell me more about how you use it personally. How did this grow into you?

Erin: I was introduced to the Enneagram. At that time in my life, I really needed it for me. I started to dig into my own work in therapy and healing for my personal integration.

Kristina: How accessible is this? Is it something I could find online?

Erin: You can literally find it everywhere now, which is a really great thing.

Kristina:  How can I use this for parenting?

Erin: I discovered the Enneagram through work, but it wasn't until parenting that I recognized how much I needed it. I was told I couldn't have kids. We were dealt with some fertility issues and decided to explore adoption. We spent two years doing all the deep work around getting approved for adoption. We planned to meet with birth parents when I found out I was 12 weeks pregnant. In the state of Ohio, where we lived at the time, you couldn't be pregnant and adopt. I had a lot of mixed feelings. On top of it, I had a really, really hard pregnancy. I was very, very, very sick and then had a pretty traumatic birthing process. There were a lot of feelings that I had to deal with as a result of that.

My daughter was born with some pretty significant neurological challenges. I wasn't equipped or ready for the challenges ahead of me. I had to deal with my own feelings and emotions to take care of my daughter.

She's almost seven now. I often say she's my greatest teacher. I've learned the most from her because of what she's asked me to be and do.

Kristina: Oh, definitely, I cannot agree with you more. Parenting brings out so much in you that you didn't know you had inside of you. Good and bad. Things you didn't resolve in the past that you didn't realize were a problem anymore. Parenting brings it all up to the surface. We learn so much from parenting our children.

What tools can I use to emotionally regulate then using the Enneagram?

Erin: The Enneagram is a way in which we can identify our patterns, the things that trigger us, what our personality is, we can understand what we're really good at, we can understand our opportunities, and it's a map away into the embodied in terms of how I think how I feel and how I behave.

[caption id="attachment_5589" align="alignleft" width="300"] Using The Enneagram for Better Parenting[/caption]

Right So typically, folks get really good at one of those areas. We have folks to orient in the world around how people make them feel. We have people who orient the world around what they think cognitively. It's the mind-body-heart approach of the Enneagram for me that aligns so beautifully to things like trauma-informed parenting.

Kristina: It sounds like something that once you can really use it and learn how to implement it. You can also identify it in your children, allowing you to be a better parent to them, too, because now you understand your kids on a different level.

Erin: Yes! The enneagram helps you discover who you are to be seen and validated and understand to get more quickly into the problem-solving work. And so when we can do that, for our kiddos, it is a way in which we can meet them where they are and help them sort of regulating and problem solve more quickly. The biggest barrier for us is our level of awareness. How well do I know myself? How well do I know what triggers me? That's where the Enneagram becomes a really powerful tool.

Kristina: Those are really big questions. It sounds to me like if this is the kind of work that you want to dive into, you also need to be pretty committed to being real and ready to do the work.

Erin: It's all about getting clear about who we are. Being able to hold the parts of us that are beautiful and unique. The Enneagram puts language into habits and patterns that might be harder for us to see because they're so ingrained. The first step for using the enneagram is to be open to seeing your life and your feelings for what they are.  You have to be ready to accept change and hard reflection work.

[caption id="attachment_5588" align="alignright" width="300"] Using The Enneagram for Better Parenting[/caption]

Kristina: It sounds like something that does not happen overnight. It's a process, something to really dedicate yourself to.

So tell me a little bit more about what you offer and what you can offer the audience.

Erin: My specialty is in behavior change. I'm in cyclical work. I help you know your individual personality type, so we create a pivot strategy that's unique to you. What motivates you versus what motivates me looks really, really different. My tenderness looks different than your tenderness. And so, to build successful strategies, we get to know who you are quick. Then we build a cycle around what looks like for you to make more room for your humanity, to allow our kiddos to grow up as full humans to be fully expressive. I do that through the lens of behavior change, with the work that I do being finite. Once you figure out a strategy, you're done with me, good, right. We can focus on the other tools and resources that we need to meet our kids where they are.

So our work is to take care of the container of ourselves as a parent so that we can be the container to help our kids learn to regulate. My work is to make room to learn how to manage it because that's what I'm doing. I'm learning to manage my big personality. And the hard part is that I'm learning at the same time. I'm teaching, right. And so that's often where you get stuck or frustrating is to be teaching from our gender places.

Kristina: Tell us if somebody resonates with you, how can they get ahold of you?

Erin: You can follow me @livingtheenneagram on Instagram. It's a place where I offer loads and loads of free resources. You can also check out my YouTube channel. Also, I am at www.livingtheenneagram.com

 

138: How To Have A Happy Divorce

How To Have A Happy Divorce. This interview with Ben Heldfond and Nikki Debartolo will have you believe it is possible! Get tips for making divorce as easy on children as possible and creating a relationship with your ex that you can be proud of.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING: How To Have A Happy Divorce

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://theimpactfulparent.passion.io/ to download the FREE Impactful Parent App. Freebies included.

www.ourhappydivorce.com for more from Nikki and Ben.

--------------------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Coming soon! I am so excited! More info to come!
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

----------------------

137: Parenting After The Loss Of A Child

Parenting After The Loss Of A Child

Michele Benyo, a grief specialist, talks about how to support children after they have lost a sibling. FREE PDF with a video is included. To download your free PDF, please download the FREE Impactful Parent APP.

 

Contact information: 

Kristina:  theimpactfulparent@gmail.com and https://theimpactfulparent.com

Michele: goodgriefparenting.com

@goodgriefparenting (https://www.instagram.com/goodgriefparenting/)

michele@michelebenyo.com 

 

What to do next:

1. Subscribe to The Impactful Parent Newsletter so you won’t miss a parenting tip that can help you! This once-a-week newsletter comes out Sunday mornings and you can unsubscribe at any time.  No obligation. No Spam.  Just your favorite parenting tips! Newsletter sign-up link here.
2. Follow The Impactful Parent on social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST and/or the YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Podcast link & YouTube link
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina! Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

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