Parenting Stories, Struggles and Strategies for Moms and Dads of School-aged Children, Teenagers, and Impactful Parents

204: How To Talk To LGBTQ Teens About Sex

How To Talk To LGBTQ Teens About Sex

HOW DO HETEROSEXUAL PARENTS TALK TO LGBTQ TEENS ABOUT SEX?

I know it can feel embarrassing and daunting. That's why this week's Impactful Parent video is here to give you tips and advice for having this important conversation. 😥 What should you say? 😰 How should you prepare? 😖 What if you mess up? This video gives you 5 steps for making this important conversation successful! You can do it! 

------

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

------

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

------

Transcript of How To Talk To LGBTQ Teens About Sex

The "sex talk" is hard enough as it is! How are heterosexual parents supposed to navigate this conversation with their LGBTQ child? Ugh! This is a whole other ball game! Or is it?

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I am the founder of the Impactful Parent. Every week I give you parenting videos that can help you in your parenting journey. If you have a particular topic or parenting question about your school-aged child that you would like me to address, please submit it at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com or by messaging me on social media. All submissions are kept anonymous. 

Today's episode is about having "The sex talk" with an LGBTQ+ child. With more and more kids coming out, parents want to know how to talk to teens about sex and dating and what rules they need to implement in their households. Parents feel uncomfortable or unsure of themselves and what to say. Today, I will give you the answers you need to start this conversation. Let's get started!

---

This is a conversation you can't avoid. I don't care if you're embarrassed or uncomfortable. If YOU don't talk to your child about sex and relationships, someone else will. When kids have a "blank space" looking for knowledge or answers, they will fill in that blank space with their own narrative created by their friends, media, and other randoms. You don't want your child's sex education to come entirely from someone young, inexperienced, and experimenting. Also, research shows that LGBTQ youth have a limited amount of trusted adults they feel comfortable talking with about sex. This leads kids to go find answers online.

Parents should play a role in helping their children learn how to navigate healthy sexual relationships. Period. If you choose to avoid this important conversation, you can potentially set up your child for bad experiences. NO! You're an impactful parent and will have this conversation confidently because today, you will learn what to say.

 

How To Talk To LGBTQ+ Children About Sex Step 1: Acknowledge Your Own Feelings

It's normal to feel nervous or even ashamed when talking about sex with your teen, especially if they're LGBTQ. But suppose you want them to know they can come to you for help and support. In that case, you mustn't let those feelings get in the way of having open conversations about these topics. Acknowledge how difficult this might be for both of you. Remember that being honest about how we feel is critical when building trust between parent and child.

• Dig deep and identify your fears. What are you afraid your child will do? What are you afraid your child will find out? What are you afraid will happen to your child as they explore their sexuality?
• Know where your own boundaries are. What do you NOT want your child to ask? What will you say if they ask you something you don't want to discuss? Where will you send your child to get help if you can't help them? Discover these answers, so you're ready.
• It's ok to admit to your child that you are uncomfortable too.

Acknowledging your feelings and concerns is important so you can face your fears and prepare for this conversation. Get help from another adult if you need it. Prepare yourself for the uncomfortable parts of this conversation so that they don't take you by surprise and you're ready to take on the conversation head-on!

 

How To Talk To LGBTQ+ Children About Sex Step 2: Be prepared and open to talking about sex

To have a good, open conversation about sex, you need to be willing and able to talk about it.

• Don't assume anything. Don't assume you're child already knows anything or has already done things. For example: if your child has expressed they are bisexual, don't assume that they have already had relationships with boys and girls.
• Be honest. Speak from experience, not from speculation. If you don't know something, don't fake it. If you need to learn more about something, say that you need to learn more, and you will get back to your child with an answer as soon as you know it.
• Don't assume that your child will have the same experiences you did growing up.
• It is essential to talk about safe sex, STDs, and preventing unplanned pregnancy, just like you would with a heterosexual son or daughter. If you are not familiar with best practices for safe sex with a same-sex partner, then do your research now, so you're ready to talk about it.
• Yes, teen pregnancy is still a risk, even if you're child is gay or lesbian. Actually, LGBT teens have a bigger likelihood of teen pregnancy than teens in the general population. Be prepared to talk about birth control options and emergency contraception.

 

How To Talk To LGBTQ+ Children About Sex Step 3: Focus on building open communication between you and your child.

• Start talking to your child about their body parts at an early age.
• Use proper names for body parts, not cute ones like va-j-j or pee.
• Initiate conversation, even if it's uncomfortable. When you initiate conversation, you also tell your child that the topic is ok to discuss. It's ok if they don't want to talk to you about things right then and there. They will probably need time to prepare themselves for this conversation too. Let your child know it's ok to revisit the topic whenever they feel comfortable.
• Use gender-neutral language whenever possible to not assume you're child's preferences.
• Don't overreact, get angry, yell, or scold a child when they are vulnerable. If a child is brave enough to ask questions, don't tease them.
• And if you're child doesn't re-approach you to talk about sex, then initiate another talk at a later date. Sometimes it's just too difficult and embarrassing to start this conversation with parents. Some kids need you to take the initiative- even if they have things to say. They need their mom or dad to get the ball rolling, so revisit this conversation every few months.

The most important thing to remember when talking to your LGBTQ teen about sex is that you should do it in a comfortable way for both of you. If they ask questions, answer them honestly and openly--but if they don't want to talk about it, let them know that there will always be time later when they're ready.

 

How To Talk To LGBTQ+ Children About Sex Step 4: Now That Your Ready To Talk, You Need To LISTEN First.

You may be prepared and even excited to talk to your teen, but don't jump the gun. You don't want this conversation to be a lecture. Instead, you want your child to lead the discussion! Yes, you will initiate the talk, but once the conversation has started, it is time to ask questions and listen to their answers.

• Start simple. Ask if the teen has a romantic interest in anyone right now. Ask if they have ever kissed someone else. Ask how the kids at their grade level show affection. You are not expected to know everything about your child's life. Still, parents must understand what their children are doing and thinking about.
• Ask your child what they are curious about. You can give them examples of topics if they are too shy to ask about specific things. For example, you can ask your child, "Are you curious about what _______ feels like? Do you have questions about contraceptives? Is there anything that scares you about being in a relationship? What are you excited about trying? The bottom line is: ask open-ended questions that you can't answer, yes or no. This will allow your child to lead the conversation with questions they want to learn about.
• Take cues from your teen. Please pay attention to their body language and facial expressions. If your child seems MORE uncomfortable than what you consider "ok," don't push them. You can try again later when they seem more relaxed and open to the conversation.
• Talk to your child about PHYSICAL SAFETY. Online dating is becoming more popular among teens (especially the LGBTQ community because they may need to look outside their social network for romance.) Meeting strangers online is unsafe, and you will need to address this with your teenager. Talk out a safety plan you and your teen can agree upon that avoids high-risk situations and allows your child to meet new people and explore.
• If your child is trans or non-binary, ask how they feel about sex, intimacy, and their specific concerns. Trans and non-binary people often feel uncomfortable in their own skin. In turn, this can affect their sexuality. Don't be surprised if your child has romantic interests but not sexual interests. These are two different things. Many want to love and intimacy without sexual intercourse or even sexual arousal.
• Expect questions and be prepared to answer them. When your child asks a question about sex, it's easy to feel like you're drowning and can't get air. You might wonder if they're asking because they want to try something new or maybe test the waters. It's important to remember that this is their way of learning more about themselves and how they fit into the world around them.

 

How To Talk To LGBTQ+ Children About Sex Step 5: Create boundaries and rules together.

Don't treat your LGBTQ+ child any differently than a heterosexual child. Suppose your heterosexual child has rules about their boyfriend/girlfriend coming over and spending time in their room. In that case, your LGBTQ+ child should have similar boundaries. Discuss with your child your concerns and create rules TOGETHER that your teen can understand and abide by.

• Consider having an open door policy (when the bedroom door must be left open whenever others come over.)
• Talk about dating. What are the rules and expectations?
• Start negotiating the expectations for Prom or Homecoming if your teen is old enough for these long-night dating opportunities.
• Discuss specific rules for sleepovers. Will you allow overnight social opportunities, and how are the rules different?

Creating rules together may not be your forte. Many parents would rather take the "I said so" stance, but by creating rules together, you also increase the chances that your child will comply.

 

We hope these tips will help you feel more confident and prepared to talk with your child about sex. Remember, this is a challenging topic for everyone, and there is no single way to approach it. What matters most is keeping the lines of communication open, listening carefully, and responding to questions thoughtfully. Create boundaries together, and don't fake what you don't know. You got this! I am just here to help.

If this information was valuable for you today, BECOME a more impactful parent by downloading The Impactful Parent App. The Impactful Parent app is FREE and full of episodes like this one that will help you in your parenting journey. Investing in your family looks like learning the warning signs of certain behaviors so you can stop bad things before they start, discovering new parenting techniques to make your parenting more effective, and joining a community of like-minded parents that also want to be the best parent they can for their child. All of this, plus so much more, can be found inside The Impactful Parent app, so download it today. You got nothing to lose with this free parenting resource. Go to theimpactfulparent.com and discover how you can step up your parenting game and be a more impactful parent.

 But until next time, you got this, parents. I am just here to help.

 

203: Help Kids With Cognitive Functioning

Help Kids With Cognitive Functioning

Help Kids With Cognitive Functioning with Betsy Hill and Roger Stark. Betsy and Roger explain the importance of Cognitive skills for academic success. Even better- Betsy and Roger give parents a solution to help kids that struggle with their cognitive functioning. Discover how Brainware testing and help from Betsy & Roger can improve your child's school performance, leave your child more confident, and better your child's organization and anxiety! Freebie is mentioned in the video located inside the Impactful Parent app!

----

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://mybrainware.com/ For more from Betsy and Rodger

-----

 

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

202: Why Is My Teenager Mean To Me?

Why is my teenager mean to me?

Founder of the Impactful Parent, Kristina Campos, gives parents 5 reasons why their child might be mean AND 5 things that parents can do to help cultivate a better relationship with their child.

 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

 

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

------

Transcript of Why Is My Teenager Mean To Me?

Why Is My Teenager Mean To Me?

They eye rolls and snarky eye stares. The "selective hearing" and the attitude in their voice. You've heard it before: teenagers are a hormonal mess. But what does that mean? Are they all going through some phase? How should an impactful parent respond to the crazy, stank eye?

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I am the founder of the Impactful Parent. Every week I give you parenting videos that can help you in your parenting journey. If you have a particular topic or parenting question about your school-aged child that you would like me to address, please submit it at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com or by messaging me on social media. All submissions are kept anonymous. 

Today, I will talk to you about why your teenager is so mean and stick around to the end because I will also give you tips for dealing with these frustrating situations. Let's get started!

 

It's true about the teenage brain not being fully developed. It's also true that teens will get an instinctual urge to detach from the family and assert independence. But is this really causing your teen to be so mean and lash out at you (and maybe even everyone else)?

The next time your teenager is giving attitude, I want you to think about WHY this is happening? Most of the time, there are layers underneath those big emotions. Here are some reasons why your teen is throwing you shade and my suggestions for what to do about it.

 

Why Is My Teenager Mean? Reason 1: It's easier to be angry than sad.

One of the most common reasons teenagers are mean to their parents is their anger. Anger is a powerful emotion that can manipulate others, distract from sadness, and cover up fear. Since teens don't have the skill set to deal with negative emotions in healthy ways, they may take out their anger on you. Remember, kids, see their parents as a safe space. You're supposed to love them no matter what, even if they are mean. You'll see a lot of teens pushing these boundaries and testing your love- even on a subconscious level. Yes, TESTING your love! Teens are sometimes so insecure and frustrated with their life that they'll test the security of home and your love to ensure it's still "safe." They need that safe place to vent and the stability of your love to be their security net. Of course, none of this is said aloud. Parents are just supposed to know this and pass the test.

What to do: If you've noticed your teenager being angry, try talking to them about it in a non-judgmental way when the dust has settled a little bit. Say something like, "I'm having trouble understanding why you're so upset with me lately. Can you tell me what's happening and how I can stop annoying you?" This will allow your teenager to vent—and hopefully help them see how hurtful their behavior has been toward you.

 

Why Is My Teenager Mean? Reason 2: They want to be independent.

Most teenagers are constantly testing their boundaries, but that's not necessarily bad. They're figuring out who they are and what they want out of life, which involves making mistakes, taking risks, and trying on new identities. You may notice that your teenager is more critical or sarcastic than usual—or even downright mean—because they need to make decisions independently. Your teenager needs to develop a sense of self-reliance to effectively function in the adult world after high school.

What to do: If you see your teen being mean to assert independence, focus on correcting their tone and NOT their message. Let them speak and declare their opinions but remind them that their opinions and voice will be better received if their tone is strong but respectful. I often tell my kids that I won't hear what they say until they control their emotions, body, and tone. Then I am all ears. This is also a situation where you must practice what you preach and model the behaviors you want to see. You can't demand your teen to talk to you respectfully if you raise your voice at them consistently. This brings me to reason number 3…

 

Why Is My Teenager Mean? Reason 3: The influence of their friends and YOU.

As I said before, it’s normal for teens to try out new things and most of what they will try out is learned behaviors from peers, media, and you.

It's natural for teens to want to fit in. They need friends, and they want their peers to like them. Parents are often seen as a barrier between their teens and other kids at school, so they sometimes act out against parents to get attention and approval from their friends.

While you may be tempted to blame your teen's behavior on peer pressure or immaturity, there is another possible explanation: Your teen may be modeling their behavior after yours!

If you are mean or disrespectful towards your child, then this can become normalized for them. Suppose you constantly yell at each other or use sarcasm (even in jest). In that case, your child will believe that this behavior is acceptable when interacting with you and even people outside the family, including authority figures like teachers and coaches.

What to do: Model the behavior you want to see and talk to your kids (when they are in a good mood) about the boundaries and appropriateness of using sarcasm, jokes, put-downs, tone, and other language nuances with others. This is a learned social skill for children. Teach them.

 

Why Is My Teenager Mean? Reason 4: Maybe they're trying to get attention from you and don't even know what they are doing.

              Most teenagers are fighting an internal battle of wanting to stay in the safety of their parent's nest or fly away and make a new nest for themselves. They are stuck between being too young and yet too old. They aren't kids, but they're not quite adults yet. And whether your child voices this internal battle with mood swings or by using their words, there will surely be times when your teenager is longing for the attention of their parents but can't say the words anymore. If your teen is mean to you, they may be trying to get your attention so that you will spend more time with them. They also might be trying to get you to pay attention to their needs. Teens feel like adults don't listen and aren't interested in what they have to say, so teens can feel ignored.

What to do: Kill your child with kindness. When they are being rude and eye-rolling, don't take the bait to start an argument; instead, take a deep breath. Once you got your composure- start thinking about how you can show your child you love them by speaking their love language. Maybe you can text your child a few words of encouragement before a test or make some popcorn for their homework hour? Whatever you do, focus on killing your child with kindness. This will give your child the attention they didn't even know they needed, strengthening the bond you can create with them. To discover more about your child's love language and get specific examples of what to do, check out my podcast/blog/video called How to Love A Teenager: The 5 Love Languages.

YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10vqibwLmXE

Podcast: https://theimpactfulparent.podbean.com/e/200-how-to-love-a-teenager-the-5-love-languages/?token=dc99737bc9092e62c14a17b7924a0178

Blog: https://theimpactfulparent.com/?p=6778

 

 

Why Is My Teenager Mean? Reason 5: Your bond is broken.

It happens to some families. Maybe the parents must work long hours to keep food on the table. Perhaps the personalities of you and your child don't mix. It doesn't matter WHY or HOW you got here, but maybe you don't have a bond with your child anymore. Your child may feel wronged or abandoned. This is a big cause for concern. Your child can develop mental health issues.

What to do: Stay silent, keep a journal tracking your child's behaviors, focus on creating a healthy relationship with your child, and get professional help.

Staying silent is also a good tactic when presented with any of the other 4 reasons your child is being mean. Staying silent is great because it doesn't take the bait for starting an argument or show how badly your child is bothering you. Now, I get it. Many parents think, "I can't just let my child talk to me like that," and I agree. There are consequences in my home for mistreating others. However, sometimes it's better to stay silent at the moment to not escalate the situation further and then revisit your response, consequences, and next steps when emotions are regulated.

Keep a journal of your child's outbursts. Can you spot patterns in their rage or rudeness. Journaling can be handy for finding answers and help.

And finally, focus on creating a new bond with your child. Get help to get started. The Impactful Parent app offers several suggestions for cultivating a relationship with your child again. I also do one on one coaching for families who want personal attention. I also recommend healthcare professionals who can work with you, your child, or the whole family to open up the lines of communication in your home again.

 

The bottom line is that teenagers are going through a lot. They want to be independent, but they also want to be loved. They feel misunderstood, angry and sad all at once. They don't know how to deal with big emotions, so they take it out on others instead (like you).

Pause the next time your child is being mean, and ask yourself, What Is Really Going On Here? Is this even about you, or maybe you're just the punching bag? Playing detective and discovering the WHY behind the behaviors is your Impactful Parent challenge. You can do this.

If this information was valuable for you today, BECOME a more impactful parent by downloading The Impactful Parent App. The Impactful Parent app is FREE and full of episodes like this one that will help you in your parenting journey. Investing in your family looks like learning the warning signs of certain behaviors so you can stop bad things before they start, discovering new parenting techniques to make your parenting more effective, and joining a community of like-minded parents that also want to be the best parent they can for their child. All this, plus so much more, can be found inside The Impactful Parent app, so download it today. You got nothing to lose with this free parenting resource. Go to theimpactfulparent.com and discover how you can step up your parenting game and be a more impactful parent.

 But until next time, you got this, parents. I am just here to help.

201: Tips For Traveling With Neurodiverse Children

Tips For Traveling With Neurodiverse Children

Do you have an anxious, inflexible, or neurodiverse child? Traveling can be challenging. Dawn Barclay, a travel writer, gives a sneak peek into her book Traveling Different: Vacation Strategies for Parents with Anxious, Inflexible, and the Neurodiverse by giving tips to parents in this Impactful Parent episode.

This is a great episode full of gold nuggets and handy tips! Discover how to travel with more ease and fun!

-----

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

http://www.dawnbarclayink.com/traveling-different---the-book.html For the Book

-----

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

 

200: How To Love A Teenager: The 5 Love Languages

How To Love A Teenager: The 5 Love Languages

How does your child want to be loved? If you can speak to your child's heart, then you can show your love for them in ways that are better received. Today's episode of the Impactful Parent explains what the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman are and how you can implement these languages in your home to cultivate a better relationship with your child.

----

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

https://https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

----

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

 

Transcript of How To Love A Teenager: The 5 Love Languages: 

How To Love A Teenager.

Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages is a great way to figure out how best to show your child you love them (no matter their age.)

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I am the founder of the Impactful Parent. Every week I give you parenting videos that can help you in your parenting journey. If you have a particular topic or parenting question about your school-aged child that you would like me to address, please submit it at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com or by messaging me on social media. All submissions are kept anonymous. 

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I will tell you what they are and give you ideas for how to apply them to your child. There will be some great ideas for bringing more intentional efforts to show love in your household today, so let's get started!

Gary Chapman says that there are 5 ways that people show love and want to be loved. Most people will gravitate to 1 or 2 love languages. Still, they will also identify a little bit with all 5 love languages as well.

Knowing your love language and the love language of your loved ones is essential. This is how YOU, your spouse, and your kids perceive they are loved and how love is shown, too. Knowing the love languages of yourself and others will help strengthen your relationship. You will be able to communicate needs better, feel more appreciated, and make more intentional efforts to show love to each other.

Luckily, Gary Chapman also gives kids and adults a love language quiz to discover their love language preferences. You can find this quiz at https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language. The test is free.

Once you know your love language and that of your children, you will be able to intentionally speak that language, and your love will be better received.

Note: Don't take the test yourself and assume you already know the love language of your children.  Instead, please have the child take the test too. Don’t make assumptions about anyone’s love language.  Although many people tend to show love the way they want to receive love, we naturally have unfair biases if we assume.  It is important to accurately assess everyone's love language in your household. Take the test.

The 5 Love languages by Gary Chapman

Words of Affirmation

              If you are a person that loves unsolicited compliments and encouragement, then this could be your love language.

This child thrives on your approval and praise. Sometimes these kids are people pleasers and need you to acknowledge them, their efforts, and their victories. If you have a child with words of affirmation as their love language, here are some ideas for intentionally showing this child that you love them.

[caption id="attachment_6781" align="aligncenter" width="300"] How To Love A Teenager: The 5 Love Languages[/caption]

• Ask your child if they are working toward anything. Do they have a goal? Perhaps they want an A on an exam or have a big project for school. Praising your child for their efforts and verbally encouraging them.
• Thank your child for their good behavior. Thank yous will go a long way with this kid.
• Display your child's good work and efforts in a visible place, like on a tack board or refrigerator.
• Praise your child for a job well done whenever possible.
• Brag to others about your child when you know the child is in earshot or will find out you were talking about them.
• Leave notes in their lunchbox or use sticky notes to leave your child notes of encouragement, inspiration, and praise around the house.
• If your child has a phone, text your child with words of encouragement.
• Tell your child that you love them.

Bottom line: "The pen (and the spoken word) is mightier than the sword. What you say matters, so focus on encouragement, acknowledgment, and articulating your love verbally.

 

Physical Touch

              Someone touching you means a lot if you identify with this love language. Keep in mind that touch does not have to be sexual. Children have physical contact as their love language too.

This child will need hugs and kisses. But beyond hugs and kisses, how else can you show someone with a physical touch that you love them? Below are some ideas.

• A pat on the back when you are proud of your child.
• Holding hands when you walk together or are sitting close.
• Dance together. Take Ballroom dance lessons.
• Comb your child's hair for them.
• Run your hands through their hair when they are talking to you or trying to calm down.
• High fives for encouragement.
• Wrestle or play another contact sport together.
• Give your child a massage.

[caption id="attachment_6782" align="aligncenter" width="300"] How To Love A Teenager: The 5 Love Languages[/caption]

Bottom line: This person loves it when you touch them in a caring and loving manner. If you are a parent that spanks or slaps your child, then I would encourage you to reconsider your form of discipline because negative touch can be especially detrimental to the child’s mental health and your relationship.

 

Quality Time

              The people that resonate most with quality time need your undivided attention. They need a particular time to bond. These individuals want to feel cherished and prioritized. Spending meaningful time together is how they feel loved.

Remember that crafting quality time needs to be intentional and have some parameters. For example, No cell phones, No siblings, and No unwanted distractions. Typically, quality time is one-on-one with the person you love. The following examples are ways to cultivate this one-on-one, device-free, personal time with your children.

• Read a book together.
• Go for a walk in the park.
• Cook together.
• Go on a vacation or staycation.
• Do a fantastic one-on-one fun day.
• Start a new hobby together.
• Ask your child specific questions about their day that require them to give more than a yes or no answer.
• Do an activity your child chooses with them (even if you don't like it.)

Bottom Line: Quality time should be one-on-one with your child above all else. It can be easy to cultivate activities because it doesn't matter what you do as long as you are engaged and spending time together. The hard part is putting the phone down, putting work away, and making time away from everyone else in the family. Remember, no siblings.

 

Acts of Service

              If your love language is acts of service, you feel the most loved when someone does something for you. The old saying, "actions speak louder than words," could not be more accurate than with a person whose love language are acts of service. Actions that go above and beyond, help these individuals feel your love towards them. Sometimes, acts of service are helpful. Sometimes, acts of service are thoughtful. Either way, this person will appreciate your intentional efforts to do something nice for them.

Here are some examples of things you can do to show your love to a child with acts of service as their love language.

[caption id="attachment_6783" align="aligncenter" width="300"] How To Love A Teenager: The 5 Love Languages[/caption]

• If your child is interested in a new activity, help them explore classes to take or get them supplies they may need.
• If they are having a difficult time doing an activity, help them.
• Make a special breakfast for your child.
• Go with your child to do some community service activities together.
• If your child is running late for school, help them by making their lunch, warming up their car, emailing their teachers, or doing whatever you can to take something off their plate.
• If your child is stressed, make your child their favorite comfort food and think about what you can do to take something off their to-do list.
• When your child is sick, make them some special soup and put on their favorite movie.
• When your teenager is having a crisis, even if you know the situation is ridiculous, sit with your child and listen to them.

Bottom line: Be intentional about doing the extra stuff. Please pay attention to their needs, wants, and desires. Take that information and find a way to do something a little special for them. It doesn't have to be a big gesture. It must be a thoughtful gesture.

 

Gifts

              This is the most misunderstood of the 5 love languages. People with this love language tend to show and receive love through gift-giving; however, the misconception is that the gift has to be expensive. This is not the case. You can't just give any gift to a person with the Gifting love language. The gift requires attention and empathy to mean something to the receiver. The meaning of the gift comes from the sentiment that the gift represents. 

Also, many people think that individuals with a gifting love language are materialistic or shallow. This is also not necessarily the case. The meaningfulness of the gift will come from the gift’s sentiment, not the cost.

With this in mind, here are some things you can do to show love to a child with gifts as their love language.

• Sending flowers for no reason, only to say I love you.
• Buying your child their favorite snack and putting it in their lunchbox.
• Buying tickets to their favorite music artist, musical, or Anime event.
• Surprise donuts for breakfast.
• A note in your child's lunchbox or even a note mailed through the US postal office
• Gift your child with a photograph of a special moment.
• Give a handmade gift to show your child you care.
• Buy or create a special one-of-a-kind gift.

Bottom line: Your gift should be sentimental and unique in some way. Again, this isn't about the cost of the present but more about the meaning the gift represents.

Those are Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages and my personal examples of how to implement love languages into your home.

When you know your loved one's love language, you can speak to their heart in ways that you could not before. I challenge you to discover your child's love language. Intentionally show your child how much you care for them by speaking to them in ways that will be meaningful to them. You got this!

If this information was valuable for you today, BECOME a more impactful parent by downloading The Impactful Parent App. The Impactful Parent app is FREE and full of episodes like this one that will help you in your parenting journey. Investing in your family looks like learning the warning signs of certain behaviors so you can stop bad things before they start, discovering new parenting techniques to make your parenting more effective, and joining a community of like-minded parents that also want to be the best parent they can for their child. All this, plus so much more, can be found inside The Impactful Parent app, so download it today. You got nothing to lose with this free parenting resource. Go to theimpactfulparent.com and discover how to step up your parenting game and be more impactful.

 But until next time, you got this, parents. I am just here to help.

 

199: Communication Delays and Concerns With Children

Communication Delays and Concerns With Children

Communication delays and challenges in children are very common. So why isn't anyone talking about it?

Whether your child is having difficulty with speaking, pronunciation, formulating thoughts, sequencing, comprehension, or ANY other of the different parts of communication, then this video is for YOU!

Siris Rivas (speech therapist) and Kristina Campos (founder of the Impactful Parent) discuss HOW PARENTS CAN HELP AND SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN WITH COMMUNICATION CHALLENGES.

💥Discover techniques to help your child.

💥Learn warning signs of communication delays

💥and find out the next steps for getting your child help in this awesome interview.

📖 FREE E-BOOK INCLUDED IN THIS EPISODE! Get it inside the Impactful Parent app! (Available in English and Spanish) 

----

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

empoweringlightlanguage@gmail.com to contact Siris Rivas-Verdejo for her services.

----

198: From Whole To Shattered To Impactful (The origin story)

From Whole To Shattered To Impactful 

My candid interview with Rodrigo Bravo about my origin story and how the Impactful Parent came to be. 

-----

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

----

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

 

196: My Child Is LGBTQ! How Do I Handle This?

My Child Is LGBTQ! How Do I Handle This?

When you're child comes out, it is a critical time to show your child love and support BUT this time can also be scary for parents! 

This episode of the Impactful Parent was recorded on the Clubhouse App with parenting coaches Dali Rivera and Rodrigo Bravo. 

 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

FREE LGBTQ PARENTING RESOURCE:  https://theimpactfulparent.com/new2lgbtq

 

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

 

197: 10 New Years Resolutions Every Parent Needs 2023 to cultivate a BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR CHILDREN

10 New Years Resolutions Every Parent Needs 2023 to cultivate a BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR CHILDREN

 

Free PDF download can be found inside the Impactful Parent app

 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

 

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com 

 

Transcript: 

10 New Year's Resolutions Every Parent Needs 2023

Let's start off 2023 right! I got 10 New Year's Resolutions that EVERY parent needs to create better connections with their family and live a more balanced life.

Hello, my name is Kristina Campos. I am the founder of the Impactful Parent. Every week I give you parenting videos that can help you in your parenting journey. If you have a particular topic or parenting question about your school-aged child that you would like me to address, please submit it at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com or by messaging me on social media. All submissions are kept anonymous. 

Today, we are talking about Impactful New Year's resolutions. I have 10 fantastic ideas for creating a more meaningful relationship with your family and becoming a more impactful parent in 2023. Let's get these new habits started today!

10 New Years Resolutions Every Parent Needs 2023

1. Reserve 1 hour of Your Family's Day as Device and Electronic Free.

I know many people are giving me eye rolls right now. I get it. An electronic free hour might seem impossible, and you may get some pushback from the kids, but I am sticking by this one. I suggest implementing this electronic free hour when it seems more natural, like during the dinner hour or the hour before bed. Ideally, no one should be looking at screens during either of those times anyway. Make your electronic free hour before bedtime. You'll also find that kids will fall asleep faster and sleep better because the blue light of screens keeps people awake.

 

2. Block Out Quality One-On-Time With Your Children EVERYDAY For at Least 15 MINUTES.

This is tougher than it seems, but it is entirely worth it. Each child needs at least 15 minutes of their parent's undivided attention each day, regardless of age. These 15 minutes can be in the car, before bed, a meal, or just a quick check-in. What matters most is that you are consistent, give your child your full attention (no phones), and it is one-on-one time (no siblings allowed.) Consider rethinking how you spend time with your kids one-on-one. Let them call the shots for those 15 minutes. Let them pick the activity.

 

3. Set a Time When Work MUST Be Put Away and Left For the Next Day.

Letting the workday drag on creates an environment of stress and disappointment for kids. They don't understand the responsibilities of adults, so instead, they view it as "work is more important than me." Not only is that bad, but you'll be setting healthy boundaries for your work-home life balance too. This can be wonderful for your own stress levels and mental health.

 

4. Read With Your Child No Matter What Their Age.

If you have older kids, you can pick an audiobook to listen to whenever you're driving from one place to another. If you have younger children, choose a chapter book you can read TO THEM. There is something special about a parent reading aloud to their child, and most parents stop this tradition once their child knows how to read themselves. That's so sad! Sharing a book is special- even an audiobook. It gives you something to talk about with your child and something you'll find your children will look forward to each day if you keep it consistent and make it a priority. 

 

5. Start Eating Better- Even Make A Garden Together.

The goal I have for you is to limit the amount you eat fast food each week OR start a garden in your kitchen or backyard with your kids. How kids eat is greatly influenced by the example the parent sets. Let's face it, there aren't many kids out there cooking their own meals. They look to you for what they are supposed to eat. If you don't want to encourage chips and cookies as a daily snack- then stop buying the chips and cookies and leaving them in the house, OR you can buy a lock box and put all the "junk food" inside the lock box so only you can access the junk food box and monitor your child's intake. Gardening is also a great way to promote healthy eating, and gardening outside with your kids is fantastic for kids to ground themselves and explore nature and science together.

6. Eat Dinner Together At Least Three Times A Week and Make 1 of Those Meals A Family Meeting.

I know families are busy with sports and all those extracurricular activities. However, there is still no replacement for the quality time of family meals. This is a time for the whole family to sit and regroup. Then, make one of those family meals an official family meeting. Family meetings put everyone on the same page. This is where everyone in the family will do 3 things:

• Announce their schedule for the week.
• Bring up concerns/problems for the family to discuss.
• Declare 1 thing they loved about the past week and 1 thing they look forward to in the coming week.

You will be surprised how beneficial family meetings and dinners can become!

 

7. Exercise WITH Your Children at Least Once A Week.

Alright, I hope you exercise more than once a week, but either way- taking ONE of those workouts and making it a joint effort can do great things for your kids. Consider that workout can be swimming, hiking, a long walk, a game of tennis, and a variety of other activities! This workout time can also be considered one of your one-on-one times with your child if they choose the activity. Either way, you will promote exercise and movement, which is the most important here!

 

8. Volunteer With Your Children At Least 2 Times This Year

Go to your local food bank, donate outgrown toys and clothes, shovel snow for the elderly neighbor, or help at a local soup kitchen… there are so many volunteer community service activities that your family can help with; you need to make an effort. Most kids will never do volunteer work alone, so you need to lead the charge here and demonstrate the importance of taking time out of our year to help the community. Some of the lessons your children will learn are incredibly valuable: gratitude, perspective, understanding, empathy, and a dedication to service.

 

9. Make a Routine for Your Week and Stick With It.

A routine might be boring, but it is one of the most important things you can give your family. Routine creates predictability and security for children. Kids will complain less and thrive more when a consistent routine is in place. In addition, a routine will help you keep to your New Year's resolutions.

 

10. Role model what you want to see.

Role modeling is entirely underestimated by parents. It is the single most powerful influence you have on your children. Kids will not listen to you if you don't walk the walk and talk the talk. If you don't exercise, eat all your meals on the go, never put down your phone or never volunteer in your community, your kids will likely mimic your behaviors in their own way. If you want your kids to pick up their clothes from the floor, you can't have a bedroom full of your clothes scattered all over the ground. They won't listen to you. But, the reverse is true also. If you role model the behaviors you want to see, your children are more likely to mimic those behaviors too.

Let's start off 2023 with new goals! You got this!

If this information was valuable for you today, BECOME a more impactful parent by downloading The Impactful Parent App. The Impactful Parent app is FREE and full of episodes like this one that will help you in your parenting journey. Investing in your family looks like learning the warning signs of certain behaviors so you can stop bad things before they start, discovering new parenting techniques to make your parenting more effective, and joining a community of like-minded parents that also want to be the best parent they can for their child. All this, plus so much more, can be found inside The Impactful Parent app, so download it today. You got nothing to lose with this free parenting resource. Go to theimpactfulparent.com and discover how you can step up your parenting game and be a more impactful parent.

 But until next time, you got this, parents. I am just here to help.

 

195: Supporting Adolescents When Moving Homes

Supporting Adolescents When Moving Homes

Moving homes is stressful for everyone but parents can make things a little easier on their adolescents if they follow the 3 tips given in this video! Jaquetta Slocomb, a former school psychologist, and now luxury real estate realtor, gives the audience 3 meaningful tips for making the transition between homes a better experience for teens.

 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

https://theimpactfulparent.com/app Download the FREE Impactful Parent App! Available on Apple and Android App Stores. FREEBIES from episodes included!

Apple Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/ios

Android Play Store: https://theimpactfulparent.com/android

https://theimpactfulparent.com for more FREE Resources and paid programs.

 

Rate, Review, & Subscribe!

"I love Kristina and all the FREE tips that she has to offer!  Thank you for making my parenting journey better!"  <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people — just like you!!!

Rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not subscribed, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Subscribe now!

 

What to do next:

1. Get The Impactful Parent App! Everything you need in your parenting journey in one spot! Available on the Android Play Store and the Apple Store. Search Impactful Parent (direct links listed above under Links in Episode).
2. Follow The Impactful Parenton social media if you don’t already! Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, & Pinterest
3. Subscribe to the PODCAST 
4. Check out the official website of The Impactful Parent for FREE RESOURCES, parenting classes, mom’s groups, and so much more! Click here to check it out!
5. Discover how you can work with Kristina!  Sign up for a FREE 30-minute discovery call! Click here to find a time that works best for you!

Bottom Line... I am here for YOU!  Contact me at theimpactfulparent@gmail.com